Very stressed, anxious and depressed (work related)

[Ross MwcFan]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've felt like that lots of times. And once I drove straight over a no parking sign and wrecked my car :o:(

 

I think what I did was different though. People must have been staring at me thinking there was something mentally wrong with me.

 

It's now after getting home, looking at Google Earth at a part of the road where I was, that I've realised what I had did.

[Ross MwcFan]

You know a lot about posting her and the internet. You can put that stuf on a resume. You have skills. Maybe you could moderate some other forum and put that on your resume.

 

Also since you wanted to work at the hospital maybe you could do that volunteer thing there. Good luck enjoy this time where you feel like your doing something!

 

 

 

As long as you didn't kill or seriously injur anybody you'll get over it! Making mistakes is how you learn!

 

Yeah but this doesn't seem like it was a normal mistake.

[denise_xo]

I think what I did was different though. People must have been staring at me thinking there was something mentally wrong with me.

 

It's now after getting home, looking at Google Earth at a part of the road where I was, that I've realised what I had did.

 

I see what you're saying. I've felt that way, too. But chances are that you're the only person left thinking about whatever happened now, and whoever was there at the time have forgotten about it. So try to just learn whatever you can learn from it, and move on

[denise_xo]

Yeah but this doesn't seem like it was a normal mistake.

 

It might help you to try to identify what was behind the reasoning or reaction you had at the time. That way, you can identify the root of the issue and try not to repeat it. Concentrate on whether you can understand and change it, rather than if it was 'normal' or not.

[Ross MwcFan]

what did you do drive down the road going backwards instead of fowards wondering why everything was getting farther away instead of closer... Did you drive down the sidewalk?

 

Well any mistake you made you learned.

 

I've not learned anything, because I still don't know what to do in that particular situation.

 

I'll try and explain what happened later.

[HeavenOrHell]

Most drivers have made some daft mistake/s at some point. If people stare at you, or anyone else, thinking there's something mentally wrong, what does it matter? I think it just makes them small minded and boringly conventional.

I've done some daft things in my time (not while driving, I've always been too nervous to learn, so you're doing much better than me on that score).

Everyone has thought someone else looks daft, or we've felt daft ourselves, it really doesn't matter, it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things!

 

I'm learning to laugh at my mistakes more now, rather than think 'Oh s***, I really f***** up there, everyone thinks I'm in idiot!'. It's good to laugh at yourselves and make light of the situation. Dwelling on things just fuels the anxiety and fear.

Good to hear you sounding more positive today

 

 

I think what I did was different though. People must have been staring at me thinking there was something mentally wrong with me.

 

It's now after getting home, looking at Google Earth at a part of the road where I was, that I've realised what I had did.

[FitChick]

Ross, there are jobs you could do from home on the phone and computer. Customer service type jobs, taking catalog orders over the phone, and I'm sure other jobs as well. If prisoners can do this work and they are locked up, certainly you could as well.

[PlumPrincess]

There are two kinds of people. Those who believe in self-responsibility and are willing to put in personal effort to improve their life, who will seize opportunities and take help when it's offered to them, and those who will find one excuse after another why they can't do something and why it's someone else's fault, be it that they don't get enough understanding or support or whatever it is that they want.

 

I really think this attitude has nothing to do with depression. It's a question of character and personality.

 

More posts about how difficult everything is won't help if you are not willing to become active about changing your life, whether you are depressed or not.

[Crusoe]

You know what annoys me, is that, if it was up to people like dust, they would stop my money and make me work, because they think it would be good for me.

 

But what gives them the right to do that?

 

What gives them the right to control my life?

 

If someone doesn't want something forced on them, even if you think it would be good for them, then you respect their wishes, to go ahead and force it on them, is just completely wrong.

 

I mean, if i thought relationships weren't any good for a particular person, and that and that being celibate and single for the rest of their lives would do them good, would it therefore be okay for me to force that on them, even though it would be against their wishes?

 

But it's not your money, Ross. It's money earnt by workers and then given to the government to spend as they see fit. It's a workers contribution to society and if we don't make that contribution we are thrown in prison. How's that for controling someones life?

 

Whatever difficulties you may have, never stop being grateful for what you receive, and if those that have provided for you suddenly stop, it doesn't make them bad, or mean, or controlling. It means they can no longer afford to provide for you and that they think you are capable of providing for yourself.

 

You are capable of providing for yourself Ross. Whether that is by working from home, dog walking, sweeping streets or mowing the grass in the park.... there is a job out there you can do.

 

I could well ask, why do you feel working people should continue to pay your way? Why do you wish their lifes to be controlled? I wish for my contribution to society to go somewhere other than you. Would you respect those wishes?

Edited February 18, 2012 by Crusoe

[HeavenOrHell]

So would you feel the same way if it was someone who had cancer? I assume not, (unless you have no compassion at all), which means you don't take mental health problems seriously.

 

If you feel unable to work because of mental health problems I hope you won't expect support from anyone.

 

People on benefits don't control the way the benefit system is run, why blame him?

 

I find it incredibly lacking in compassion when taxpayers don't want their money to go to people with health problems. When most of them would expect it themselves if they were unfortunate enough to be in the same boat. I don't want my money to go towards weaponry and wars, but I get no say in the matter.

 

Are you happy to pay tax for wars, and towards child benefit for parents who aren't working? Actually parents in the UK who are earning also get child benefit. I chose not to have kids, why should I pay anything towards other people's kids? But it's not something which ever actually bothered me.

 

We all pay tax whether we work on not, everything we buy is taxed.

The tax system is s*** we all know that.

 

People's benefits get stopped sometimes not necessarily because the person is fit for work but because the government are making cuts from those most in need, they only care about money, and not people's welfare, much the same as many of the posters in this thread.

 

 

 

But it's not your money, Ross. It's money earn't by workers and then given to the governemnt to spend as they see fit. It's a workers contribution to society and if we don't make that contribution we are thrown in prison. How's that for controling someones life?

 

Whatever difficulties you may have, never stop being grateful for what you receive, and if those that have provided for you suddenly stop, it doesn't make them bad, or mean, or controlling. It means they can no longer afford to provide for you and that they think you are capable of providing for yourself.

 

You are capable of providing for yourself Ross. Whether that is by working from home, dog walking, sweeping streets or mowing the grass in the park.... there is a job out there you can do.

 

I could well ask, why do you feel working people should continue to pay your way? Why do you wish their lifes to be controlled? I wish for my contribution to society to go somewhere other than you. Would you respect those wishes?

[HeavenOrHell]

That's a possibility Ross, especially if you do an IT course? Although working outside of the home might be better for you as you want to meet other people and gain confidence?

 

My ex is doing an open university computer course from home, called My Digital Life TU100 - My digital life - Open University Course

 

 

 

Ross, there are jobs you could do from home on the phone and computer. Customer service type jobs, taking catalog orders over the phone, and I'm sure other jobs as well. If prisoners can do this work and they are locked up, certainly you could as well.

[anne1707]

HoH

 

I don't think Crusoe was saying that Ross's benefits should be stopped at all. What he was saying is that Ross is talking about the benefits he has as "his" money yet he only has that money because of people like Crusoe who work and pay taxes that then fund the benefit system. Ross has also complained about being told what to do - yet as Crusoe said, those of us who work are also told what to do when we are made to pay taxes.

 

I pay my tax and NI. I am definitely a contributor to health, education and welfare (having no kids, never needing a hospital stay, always employed etc). I believe in the welfare system and have no problem with money that I have earned going towards that system. However I do object to people who do not try to work when they can or people who somehow managed to get signed off as unfit to work (yet are more than capable but just have a lazy GP). I want the money I pay to be used to support those in genuine need, not those who just can't be bothered.

 

Ross needs to accept that if he going to work (which I think he should) then he will have to accept that he is not going to have a perfect job and that he will be told what to do by his boss who will have expectations of him, i.e. go through what the rest of us do.

[Ross MwcFan]

That's a possibility Ross, especially if you do an IT course? Although working outside of the home might be better for you as you want to meet other people and gain confidence?

 

My ex is doing an open university computer course from home, called My Digital Life TU100 - My digital life - Open University Course

 

Yeah, I'd rather work outside the home (I think).

 

I was thinking that whilst working at a low paying office job, I could do an IT course at the college that's near to me (and you don't need qualifications to do it), and then after finishing the course, if I get qualifications from it, I would be able to get a better office job.

[PlumPrincess]

So would you feel the same way if it was someone who had cancer? I assume not, (unless you have no compassion at all), which means you don't take mental health problems seriously.

 

If you feel unable to work because of mental health problems I hope you won't expect support from anyone.

 

People on benefits don't control the way the benefit system is run, why blame him?

 

I find it incredibly lacking in compassion when taxpayers don't want their money to go to people with health problems. When most of them would expect it themselves if they were unfortunate enough to be in the same boat. I don't want my money to go towards weaponry and wars, but I get no say in the matter.

 

Are you happy to pay tax for wars, and towards child benefit for parents who aren't working? Actually parents in the UK who are earning also get child benefit. I chose not to have kids, why should I pay anything towards other people's kids? But it's not something which ever actually bothered me.

 

We all pay tax whether we work on not, everything we buy is taxed.

The tax system is s*** we all know that.

 

People's benefits get stopped sometimes not necessarily because the person is fit for work but because the government are making cuts from those most in need, they only care about money, and not people's welfare, much the same as many of the posters in this thread.

Let me ask you back, do you think Ross is grateful for the money he is receiving from the government? Taxes get paid by everyone, whether they have great jobs with a high salary or mundane low-paying jobs. Does he understand that the money he gets may be coming from people who could really use that little extra money for something else that matters more to them, like their kids? Do you think he is taking the small steps that you and others have been suggesting to improve his situation? Does he persist when he is not immediately successful?

 

If he doesn't think he can do a job with a lot of people, then he can still do something as simple as picking up trash from the park. If he thinks he's above that, he should talk with some immigrants. There are a quite a few who are forced to do manulal labor because their university degrees from home don't get recognized. If he wants a more exciting job, he probably has to overcome his anxiety and get some formal education.

[Crusoe]

So would you feel the same way if it was someone who had cancer? I assume not, (unless you have no compassion at all), which means you don't take mental health problems seriously.

 

If you feel unable to work because of mental health problems I hope you won't expect support from anyone.

 

People on benefits don't control the way the benefit system is run, why blame him?

 

I find it incredibly lacking in compassion when taxpayers don't want their money to go to people with health problems. When most of them would expect it themselves if they were unfortunate enough to be in the same boat. I don't want my money to go towards weaponry and wars, but I get no say in the matter.

 

Are you happy to pay tax for wars, and towards child benefit for parents who aren't working? Actually parents in the UK who are earning also get child benefit. I chose not to have kids, why should I pay anything towards other people's kids? But it's not something which ever actually bothered me.

 

We all pay tax whether we work on not, everything we buy is taxed.

The tax system is s*** we all know that.

 

People's benefits get stopped sometimes not necessarily because the person is fit for work but because the government are making cuts from those most in need, they only care about money, and not people's welfare, much the same as many of the posters in this thread.

 

There's a difference between feeling unable to work and being unable to work.

 

I want to see my money go those that really need it. The young girl shivering on the streets because she ran away from a step father that raped her. The war vet struggling to wipe his own ar*e becaue he had his legs blown off. The people dying whilst on the NHS waiting list. The kids starving to death in Africa.

 

Are you telling me that Ross is utterly incapable of any form of work? Is he utterly incapable of providing for himself? Is his situation so dire that he will die without government aid? Because you cannot neglect something capable of taking care of itself.

 

My compassion will go to those that are incapable, when they are taken care of it will extend to others.

 

It is one thing to accept benefits, it is another to complain that you have to prove you deserve them, or that those that provide do not respect your wishes to not work.

 

In my time in Africa, not once did I see a child complain that what we provided wasn't good enough, or complain when their wasn't enough to go around, or complain when they were asked to do something for themselves. They would work harder than any man over here. They would do it with empty bellies, no shelter and no medicine, but they would do it with a heart full of hope, a gut full or determination and a contagious dignity. No matter what ailed them.

[Ross MwcFan]

Those kids are a lot more mentally stronger than me then. And because of that they're a lot more better off than I am.

[anne1707]

Ross

 

Your self pity has gone too far now. How on earth can you say that a child with no shelter, little, if any, food and no access to decent healthcare is better off than you?

 

[Ross MwcFan]

Ross

 

Your self pity has gone too far now. How on earth can you say that a child with no shelter, little, if any, food and no access to decent healthcare is better off than you?

 

 

Because I can't cope at all, I've been feeling suicidal a lot of times because of how I feel.

 

The way crusoe has described it, makes it seem as though these kids are able to cope, and are not suffering anywhere near as much as I have been.

[anne1707]

Because I can't cope at all, I've been feeling suicidal a lot of times because of how I feel.

 

The way crusoe has described it, makes it seem as though these kids are able to cope, and are not suffering anywhere near as much as I have been.

 

You may be feeling suicidal but please don't suggest that these kids have it good. Their lives are desperate however they have to just get on with it. For them it is either that or they die. That is how tough their life is. That is a lot worse than your decision of whether to work or not whilst you still get a roof over your head, money to buy food and free medical care whenever you need it.

 

I am disappointed in you Ross

[Ross MwcFan]

You may be feeling suicidal but please don't suggest that these kids have it good. Their lives are desperate however they have to just get on with it. For them it is either that or they die. That is how tough their life is. That is a lot worse than your decision of whether to work or not whilst you still get a roof over your head, money to buy food and free medical care whenever you need it.

 

I am disappointed in you Ross

 

I don't think the kids have it good. And I know their situation is a lot worse than mine.

 

But at the same time, like I said, the way Crusoe describes it, makes it sound as though they aren't suffering as much as I've been. In fact he makes it sound as though they aren't suffering that much at all.

[Crusoe]

Those kids are a lot more mentally stronger than me then. And because of that they're a lot more better off than I am.

 

It's not so much they are mentally stronger, it's that they have no alternative. They are pushed to their limits or order to stay alive and because of that they soon learn to how to live. They are both rich and poor. Their poverty makes them rich.

 

You are also both rich and poor. You are rich in the opportunity that this country offers you, it surrounds you everywhere, everyday, but you are poor because you aren't forced to grab hold of it and appreciate how rich you really are. It is your wealth that allows you to be poor, and your poverty is a luxury those kids cannot afford.

[Crusoe]

I don't think the kids have it good. And I know their situation is a lot worse than mine.

 

But at the same time, like I said, the way Crusoe describes it, makes it sound as though they aren't suffering as much as I've been. In fact he makes it sound as though they aren't suffering that much at all.

 

They aren't suffering like you, suffering is a choice, they choose not to.

[Ross MwcFan]

It's not so much they are mentally stronger, it's that they have no alternative. They are pushed to their limits or order to stay alive and because of that they soon learn to how to live. They are both rich and poor. Their poverty makes them rich.

 

You are also both rich and poor. You are rich in the opportunity that this country offers you, it surrounds you everywhere, everyday, but you are poor because you aren't forced to grab hold of it and appreciate how rich you really are. It is your wealth that allows you to be poor, and your poverty is a luxury those kids cannot afford.

 

You've certainly made them sound like they're a lot more mentally stronger.

 

Which person sounds mentally stronger to you?

 

Person A (The way you've described the kids): Full of determination, dignity, and hope. Is able to cope and Never complains.

 

Person B (Me): Severly depressed, anxious, no hope at all, unable to cope at all, suffering so badly that he is suicidal and wants to die.

[Ross MwcFan]

They aren't suffering like you, suffering is a choice, they choose not to.

 

Suffering is a choice? What a load of bull****.

[Ross MwcFan]

For the record. I am sure that the way Crusoe is describing things isn't accurate.

 

I think there will be a lot of kids in Africa, who don't have hope, who are suffering more than me, and who cannot cope. And therefore, are worse off than me.