dicky_fish Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 I was starting to feel more like the old me again, I got an offer of a job interview for next week and today I went to what I thought was a work experience placement but it's turned out to be paid work, I'm meeting up with my uni friends tomorrow. Everything should be fine but I was just out at a bar and had to leave to get the last bus home due to lack of money and while I was waiting me and the two young lads next to me at the bus stop got attacked by three skin heads. They beat seven bells of sh*te out of one of the kids and tried setting my hair alight! God that was scary! I'm home safe and sound but I'm having a massive freak out right now! I was doing so well, but now I'm obsessing about everything. First thing that popped into my head was my ex. How that wouldn't have happened if she were there etc and now I'm all nervous about tomorrow cause I don't want to be in a depressive state with my friends. Why is it when things start to go right again it all has to come crashing down!? This is the closest I've come to breaking NC in a long time! I've messaged anyone who'd hear me out just to stop it. The mind is a f*ck weird thing sometimes... Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 The mind is a f*ck weird thing sometimes... I have said something similar. How can the mind not be flawed when we continue to care about someone who doesn't care about us. Of what practical use is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Chs Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Same happened to me when i broke my arm some time ago. Suddenly i just felt helpless and missed her care alot. I didn't break NC and already the day after it was better. I think it's just that you miss the one that would care for you and be there for you after events like this, but you have to be strong and confident with yourself. It will get better! Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 How can the mind not be flawed when we continue to care about someone who doesn't care about us. Of what practical use is that? None. And if anything, it's destructive. O.P, Try and focus on those around you who do care. Reach out to them instead. There is nothing your Ex could do or say to make you feel better. It's a natural reaction to feel at a loose end when the person you used to share big events in your life with isn't there anymore... But others are now, and whether it's a good or bad experience, your friends and family are your support and cheer squad now. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 We hope your okay, we're worried about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dicky_fish Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 (edited) It's a funny thing isn't it? The night with the friends went fine as whatever I'd been feeling the night before disappeared as soon as I was back in their company. Although I've had quite an interesting day today and very nearly got killed! (Full story is in my log if anyone's interested) Thanks for the replies x Edited February 13, 2012 by dicky_fish Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Goodness, sorry that happened to you. Wow. I skimmed your coping log and I'm glad you had a really nice weekend after that. It's a shame that people are so violent, that is so very, very awful. I'm glad you had a good weekend, but since you have been through so much (the breakup, and now this) I think it would be a good time to seek therapy if you are not already in it. Getting beaten up is very traumatic and may affect you down the road (even though you feel better about it now), so think about getting a safety net, which is what therapy would be. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 just hugs. people sux. desperate, and evil people who just do things like that try a few prayers. ask for calming and peace and wisdom. you were attacked. ANYONE>>>>>ANYONE of us would feel like this. man and woman alike. it was an assault on you. more unpredictability. but that likely will NEVER happen again. i hope and pray they find and arrest the people who did that to you. but please know this. YOU ARE still the same person. you just had a new and not so nice rough experience. i have to tell you when the trade centers were hit...i had a new and different feeling, i couldnt identify. because something like that never happened before so close to me...and in this county. all i can say is this feeling will pass. you may feel a wee bit post traumatic stress. between loss of love and this. but time, and your normal surroundings and friends and family and your good senses and sensibility will heal you. if not talk to someone, professional that you trust. otherwise look at it like this..you are thankfully alive. i hope u went to a doctor to get checked out. please do. and everyone has something in life usually traumatize them once in a while. you will come out the other end fine. maybe someday you will be able to talk to your ex. just hold on and wait to be stronger. : ) God bless and keep you safe. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Keep thinking about how lucky you are. Not everyone survives attacks by skinheads. I know of someone who was held hostage in a bank robbery. He was told to sit down with some people. One of the bank robbers raped a woman on top of this guy...on top of him. So now, not only did he have to deal with the trauma of being a victim of a bank robber. He also had to deal with the guilt of what happened to this woman even though it was not his fault. He was so messed up by this, he said he seem to be dealing with what happened worse than how she was dealing with it. I think they may have been employees of the bank, but I am not sure. I never spoke with the woman so I didn't hear how she was dealing with what happened directly. My point is that disgusting, evil things happen every day and that is terrible. It's horrible that people are so cruel. But they do exist and there is nothing we can do about it but go on...the way you did by going to the party. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dicky_fish Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 I feel I'd better point out that it wasn't actually me who got physically assaulted by the skinhead. It was worse than that as the gutless b*stard set upon a young lad who couldn't have been any older than 17! He got beaten to a bloody pulp by this 30 year old skinhead! There really are some truly awful people in this world! The worst they did to me was try to set my hair on fire, but it didn't work very well. I spent the best part of an hour at my local police station today giving my statement to try catch the gutless f*cker who did that. Those of you who said prayers can you please direct them away from me and to that young lad who really did not deserve to get that beating. As far as I'm concerned the events of Sunday night were much worse for me as I very nearly got killed! I had to run across the station to get my connecting train (it being Sunday I'd have had to wait another hour for another) and as I approached the train I slipped on the platform edge thanks to it being really wet and fell down onto the track inbetween the platform and the waiting train! I thumped into the side of it and I've now got quite badly bruised ribs and a huge cut on my leg. Luckily I got out really quickly because I thought the train was about to set off much to the shock and horror of my fellow passengers. That will be a large topic of discussion with both my shrinks this week. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 EEK...never run on a train platform....never. You were so incredibly lucky. By the way, having your hair set on fire must have been awfuly scary...you really could have been killed. My goodness...that is just awful. Link to post Share on other sites
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