My final gasp

[digger]

After 21 yrs of marriage and begging, pleading et al, i finally gave up after hearing all the 'i dont love you anymores' and went to the house to get my stuff, furniture etc. After moving-i called her so she wouldnt come home to a shock. I was told, I dont care what you took, i dont wanna fight about it. 4 houes later, calls every 2 minutes, 'you took this, you took that, your daughter doesnt even have Tv to watch (i took my satellite--she woulda had to get cable anyway). Im a selfish bastard cause the girl misses one night of TV!!! After an ensuing conversation, I heard in a span of 5 minutes, I dont love you anymore--to me saying I love you and hearing an innnocent 'i know' out of her--to your a selfish bastard why would i ever go back to you--to me talking about reconciliation and hearing "ill think about it". Has anybody gone thru these swirling waters and what am i to think?

[JustSoRight]

Hey it's going to be like this. Divorce is messy and she isn't really being clear. She gives you hope then takes it away.

 

I'm sorry this is how it is for you. Most people never have the easy divorce in which they agree on everything. Sounds like she's trying to transfer her guilty feelings over onto you. Don't let that happen. Also get some therapy, it's going to help you alot. Do you really want to be with someone who continuely tells you I don't love you anymore?

[hope&pray]

All the emotions and things she said are normal. If you want her back, don't look to deep into, don't take it to personal, funny as it might sound at this time AGREE with her and DON'T say negative things to her.

Take the time and space to think what you want and let her deside what she wants.

 

 

check this out too

 

http://rrr.kimcm.dk/forum/

 

Good luck.

[maria72]

Oh, I just can't imagine staying with someone who told me they didn't love me. I'm sorry you're going through this but how long has she been saying that? Do you really want to stay with someone who doesn't love you? And, you don't want your daughter to grow up thinking this is how a marriage is supposed to be.

[digger]

how long?? since the day the D papers were served--not a second before

[maria72]

Have you ever talked about divorce before?

[digger]

not really--she didnt like some things i was doing on the computer-and said 3 yrs ago i would get 1 more chance---and i did it again. (you tend to let things slide when nuthing seems wrong...and maybe i was stupid but i knew she was using spyware but to me it was like you do it--you get up and have a sandwich and you forget it. I guess it stemed from me not getting as much attention as she gave our daughter--the relationship is bizarre--shes a GOD to her. Also the constant harp now is--you did this 10 years ago--you did this 7 years ago--it never stops.

So why didnt she leave then? I just think she has a head full of issues and she says its stuff she can Never forget. It was not an issue until the D papers

[maria72]

I’ve honestly never understood women who devote all of their attention to the kids…it’s never made sense to me. I grew up with a religious background that teaches your husband or wife are supposed to come before the kids. The whole point of having kids is to prepare for them to leave you and all you’ll be left with is your spouse so you better make sure you made them number one. It goes both ways though...some men devote more time to work than to the wife.

 

I should add that I’m divorced but I don’t have kids so I’ve never actually had to deal with this.

 

I hope things get better for you. I know it’s frustrating.

 

Did you serve her with divorce papers (sorry if I missed that fact) or was it the other way around?

[digger]

THANKS MARIA

SHE HIT ME WITH EM