brokendreamz Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Hey Teknoe. Cool thread mate. Back down the gym tomorrow for me - that make me feel confident and you know what, I'm gonna chat to some birds while I'm at it Link to post Share on other sites
wezol Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 (edited) Honestly, it felt like you were trying to make an example out of me. Unless it's a thread I made or posted in, nobody has any reason to talk about me. Dude, he was just trying to help you. Also, he obviously had a reason to talk about you, because he did. On top of that, this IS a public forum.... Calm down. To the OP: Good on you, I recently had a good experience like that as well. Got cockblocked something awful though. Went to the bar Saturday night, started talking to this girl and remembered what Dusty had said, make your intentions known right from the start. So, with the bar being loud, I used it as an "excuse" to stay close to her and touch her back as we were talking in each others ear. That progressed to both of us getting a little more physical so to speak, short of completely groping each other. She then challenged me, saying she could drink me under the table. She also offered me a place to stay within walking distance and invited me back where she was staying for the weekend to drink some more whiskey. Mind you, this girl was hot, the type of girl that I always thought was "too hot for me", but I just stuck with the confidence and pulled her down off her pedestal and knocked her down a few pegs, by my actions. I thought to myself, what could I DO to accomplish that, and what I did may or may not be typical. I figured, she's so high on herself about drinking me under the table, let's go that route. I proceeded to order FIVE 4-horsemen, I took three and gave her two. I then proceeded to tell her I would finish these three before she was even started on her second. Well I did, and she couldn't even drink her second one. I then walked away "to do something" for about 5 minutes, came back and started talking to her again, next thing I know her tongue was down my throat. It wasn't but a minute after that, when her friend (who's "that" one female friend), came up and stole her away, saying "we need to leave, I have a ride home". She tried to turn around a few times but her friend wouldn't let her. What did I learn? I waited WAY too long to get her number, as I thought I'd have time for it later. I didn't, and now I don't have it. All and all though, good night. Edited February 13, 2012 by wezol Link to post Share on other sites
danny in van Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 when in doubt about talking to girls, an obvious but often overlooked fact to keep at the forefront is: as much as girls may try to disguise it, they WANT guys to approach them! Again, obvious I know, but girls will have an expression that tries to convey 'keep away', and sometimes do take it at face value. But othertimes... Link to post Share on other sites
Rimer Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 To OP I'm interested how did a girl start talking about porn and masturbation at a church gathering ? Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) Reason he didn't ask them out was because he'll be seeing them more frequently, he probably wants to keep coming back to the church, and allow them to familiarize themselves with him. I have am male friend that just goes out to events and has fun, women wind up drawn to himm, and they sometimes even invite HIM to THEIR events. In my friends case, he and another male friend that was with him, was invited out by 3 women to go boating with them. They became extremey comfortable with himm, and LOVED the fact that he never hit on them. (Thus why he didn't ask for any digits that very night, he'll be coming back, and after a few weeks, they'll be hanging out in the group) Eventually, something serendipitous might come of it. He is known as "the fun guy" at the events, and not the wierdo guy that asks for their numbers right on the night of meeting them. The only way this works though, is if you know if you'll be seeing these people routinely. Yeah... that could work. Can see the value of that, getting to know the women and that group of friends better. However, as another poster stated, that could end up putting a guy deep into a friendzone... Tek, Those women you talked with at the singles group, why couldn't you have taken one aside at the end (just you and her) and told her you enjoyed your conversation, say about the visit to Thailand, and told her you'd like to talk more about it with her over dinner this weekend or a visit to an arts or community fair or an activity the church was sponsoring? What would have been so wrong with being a little forward like that? Have you guys ever listened to women describing guys they know? I hear women saying, "...He's just a friend... There's no attraction. I can't see it going anywhere..." A woman I dated, that 30 y.o. virgin I met @26 in a church singles group, asked her why she didn't ever go out with this other guy in that group. Casey, a neat-looking guy, looked like he had his act together and like he'd be a great guy for a Christian woman to date. "...Oh... no... it could never be..." she said of him. She really didn't have answer for me, and I assured her I was glad she was dating me (a newcomer to that singles group) instead of him, but was curious about her "selection" process. If a woman doesn't sense interest from a guy pretty early, she feels like she's not attractive to her and it feels kinda offensive, so I read. Maybe that's what happened with him. He'd been in that singles group a while, but maybe he was shy and hadn't asked any women, like my GF, out. Have also read: You have to approach a woman as a man, and not try to be her friend. Make your interest clear right away. You do not want to try to be her friend, see how things develop, or wait to ask her out. Guys that have posted on this say they've found that trying to be friends first or letting things develop rarely works for them, even in the most devout religious circles. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/289931-action-plan-someone-who-has-never-dated#post3548783 Christian woman or not, she's still a woman and women have attraction needs. If she thinks you're not "interested" in her, she places you in a friendzone, which I think I got locked into on occasion, but didn't know anything about this then. Like the great 1970s Eagles song, Take It Easy, says, We may win, and we may lose. But we will never be here again. So open up, I'm climbing in, so Take It Easy... Let's be careful out there guys and stay out of the friendzone. Edited April 4, 2012 by FredRutherford Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 To OP I'm interested how did a girl start talking about porn and masturbation at a church gathering ? Haha. The night talked about how to honor God in boyfriend girlfriend relationships, so IIRC somehow porn and MB got brought up in the midst of that. I can't recall exactly but I could sense these Christian women were a little more "liberal" than some ultra conservative Christen women I've interacted with in the past. Therefore we were able to laugh about the topic a bit, rather than entering complete taboo territory if I were talking with ultra-conservative Christian women. Tek, Those women you talked with at the singles group, why couldn't you have taken one aside at the end (just you and her) and told her you enjoyed your conversation, say about the visit to Thailand, and told her you'd like to talk more about it with her over dinner this weekend or a visit to an arts or community fair or an activity the church was sponsoring? What would have been so wrong with being a little forward like that? Have you guys ever listened to women describing guys they know? I believe I address this somewhere in this thread? if I didn't, it's simple. Although they are attractive, I can see a woman and find her attractive, but not have that "pull" to want to be anything more than friends. I also know I am not ready for a serious adult dating relationship right now. I'm not saying I have to be perfect (I will never be perfect) until I start considering dating, but I do want to take care of a few base things first. I'm enjoying the freedom of being single right now, let's just say. I'm in no rush especially seeing as how this isn't buying a DVD or CD. There's a lot more on the line than $20. I want to better myself first before I enter into my next dating relationship. Coincidentally, I think it's ONLY by self improvement that I *will* enter into it again at all. Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) I believe I address this somewhere in this thread? if I didn't, it's simple. Although they are attractive, I can see a woman and find her attractive, but not have that "pull" to want to be anything more than friends. I also know I am not ready for a serious adult dating relationship right now. I'm not saying I have to be perfect (I will never be perfect) until I start considering dating, but I do want to take care of a few base things first. I'm enjoying the freedom of being single right now, let's just say. I'm in no rush especially seeing as how this isn't buying a DVD or CD. There's a lot more on the line than $20. I want to better myself first before I enter into my next dating relationship. Coincidentally, I think it's ONLY by self improvement that I *will* enter into it again at all. Do what you want, Tek, but don't expect to find a relationship soon. I know you're not ready, but being passive will likely allow other guys, guys who aren't as concerned ( as you legitimately are ) about those women's Christian morality, to move in and date them, the girls you might have been able to make a relationship with. Take this heartbreaking story I recently read on LS ( in a SomeDude thread): http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/319997-pity-sex-16.html#post3909542 Originally Posted by PlumPrincess you have never been able to attract the women you want. Nice women don't like jerks, no matter how hot they are. What's so difficult to understand about it? Originally Posted by AIDsFan1488 Actually some of them were "nice girls". One girl who I deflowered was really sweet and innocent and the only girl around my age I know who went to church every sunday. Not brilliant, but she wasn't dumb either. She threw her virginity away on me instead of all her male church-going Christian friends who were all in love with her, I never called her back once I got what I wanted. . That guy was a first-class jerk, taking away a Christian woman's virginity like that, like it was all a game. That terrible decision was all on that woman, and she knew right from wrong, but bet she had BIG regrets giving herself to a player like that, who now is whining about all his regrets..... This is all his side of the story, but here's something even more important (for us in this thread): ----notice what happened to the woman's "church guy friends," the guys she knew at her church, but she was never attracted to. Originally Posted by AIDsFan1488 She threw her virginity away on me instead of all her male church-going Christian friends who were all in love with her, They were likely shy guys, like I once was, and never stated their interest. They probably thought they were being "gentlemen" by "seeing how things go" and "waiting patiently" on her and her needs (like she was gonna show interest in one of them. Guys have to do the initiating). Wonder if any of them ever made moves to ask her out? If they had, do you think this Christian woman would've wasted her life and virginity with such a louse? Edited April 5, 2012 by FredRutherford Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Do what you want, Tek, but don't expect to find a relationship soon. I thought I made it clear that I don't expect myself to be in a relationship anytime soon?? I don't mind being single as I work out these kinks. If it takes a year or even two, I am OK with it. When I'm better prepared to handle a mature, adult relationship where I can properly give and take, then I'll pursue. Right now... ain't the place or time. Oh, I still have and enjoy female friendships... I haven't gone extreme extreme (i.e. avoiding all female contact which would be kind of lame), but I want to be wise about this (i.e. not actively pursuing girls when I know I ain't in a good enough place). I know I need to work on a stronger foundation. I'm just being dead honest with myself, and have recently accepted this. Once I did, such great peace fell on me like you wouldn't believe. Now I'm not all "OMG OMG is she single is she single?!" I can relax and enjoy myself around the company of women and not be all paranoid or put a lot of pressure on myself. As a result, some girls are reacting better to me than ever before, lol. Go figure. We all have our paths to walk, Fred. Peace is the key. There is a time for everything as you know (book of Ecclesiastes). Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I thought I made it clear that I don't expect myself to be in a relationship anytime soon?? I don't mind being single as I work out these kinks. If it takes a year or even two, I am OK with it. When I'm better prepared to handle a mature, adult relationship where I can properly give and take, then I'll pursue. Right now... ain't the place or time. Oh, I still have and enjoy female friendships... I haven't gone extreme extreme (i.e. avoiding all female contact which would be kind of lame), but I want to be wise about this (i.e. not actively pursuing girls when I know I ain't in a good enough place). I know I need to work on a stronger foundation. I'm just being dead honest with myself, and have recently accepted this. Once I did, such great peace fell on me like you wouldn't believe. Now I'm not all "OMG OMG is she single is she single?!" I can relax and enjoy myself around the company of women and not be all paranoid or put a lot of pressure on myself. As a result, some girls are reacting better to me than ever before, lol. Go figure. We all have our paths to walk, Fred. Peace is the key. There is a time for everything as you know (book of Ecclesiastes). Cheers Hey brother you might like this video. Really helped me as I seek a godly wife Dr. Mike Murdock - What I would Do Differently If I Could Start My Marriage Over Again - YouTube Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Fred, that guy is a troll, none of that stuff he's saying is real. Teknoe, I really don't get it. Nevermind, I do, it's the whole religious preach the word thing. But the fact remains, you wind up these threads by talking about how messed up you are and not relationship material, in your own words, yet the fact remains that you continue to post these long winded advice threads...on a relationship forum every few weeks. And both of these situations reek of crutch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Hey brother you might like this video. Really helped me as I seek a godly wife Dr. Mike Murdock - What I would Do Differently If I Could Start My Marriage Over Again - YouTube Hey thanks man! I put that on the to-watch list. Have a happy Easter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teknoe Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Fred, that guy is a troll, none of that stuff he's saying is real. Teknoe, I really don't get it. Nevermind, I do, it's the whole religious preach the word thing. But the fact remains, you wind up these threads by talking about how messed up you are and not relationship material, in your own words, yet the fact remains that you continue to post these long winded advice threads...on a relationship forum every few weeks. And both of these situations reek of crutch. But notice I'm reaching out to one dude... because I've been in his shoes. I can't help how you interpret me; maybe I'm selling myself a little short. But I have plenty of female friendships and have been in an intimate relationship before (more than what the dude I'm trying to help has experienced). I'm around happily married couples and relationship talk is often had. I feel I have some stories to share in this capacity. Notice I'm not giving advice to Dust, but to guys who have less experience and more angst than I do. Just trying to help in some small capacity. However you interpret it is your own discretion. Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Fred, that guy is a troll, none of that stuff he's saying is real. Teknoe, I really don't get it. Nevermind, I do, it's the whole religious preach the word thing. But the fact remains, you wind up these threads by talking about how messed up you are and not relationship material, in your own words, yet the fact remains that you continue to post these long winded advice threads...on a relationship forum every few weeks. And both of these situations reek of crutch. You're one to talk. You practically bragged in the porn thread how you require the Christian women you date to "put aside" their religious convictions and be subservient to your sexual desires..... Not much different than the player I quoted earlier in this thread... Yup, real respectful to women.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/305439-porn-again-i-know-42.html#post3817654 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/305439-porn-again-i-know-42.html#post3817734 Originally Posted by thatone the only way i can protect my own interests, so to speak, in dealing with women i date who are believers, is make my demands obvious by my actions/advances...that i am not a believer and i am only willing to date them if they are ok with sex outside of marriage and ok with the fact that i will never participate in their religion. .... so in short, i'm only tolerant of their religion if they are ready and willing to pick and choose what parts of it to abandon to be with me? haha, sounds terrible when i type it out, but then again i'm dating a christian right now and we are having sex on a regular basis. so there you have it. Sounds like she has a real catch here, you bein' so overly focused on your own sexual desires and could care less about her feelings. All that matters is she "put out," right? Perhaps the next guy she dates, she'll find someone who really loves her. Can't see guys like Tek and myself acting so selfishly to women like that. What other parts of their lives would you make them change so they could satisfy your penis? Or... better put.... How would you like it if the women you dated required you to "put aside" your religious or political or lifestyle views for her selfish reasons? Great how you like the other cowardly men in that porn thread didn't have any moxy and never once bothered to side with me or support me in the thread. I was the sole male in that thread trying to discourage guys from viewing porn. Am not gonna allow insults from you or creeps like the degenerate Joystick and the hypocrite 123321 call me names. Those guys called me a p***y for gently speaking out against porn, which I guess you found offensive. Like Tek and others, I've offered advice to SomeDude as well as Tek on how to meet and date women. Was like both of them at one time and fortunately, using some of the techniques I recommend, escaped my singleness. So I don't personally care what you think of me. Oh, right. I'm not real. Edited April 6, 2012 by FredRutherford Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Frisky Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 I know that. I just don't want people on this forum to think that I'm some kind of sourpuss IRL and that's why girls don't want to date me. But that's just not the case. Stop giving a damn about what anonymous people on internet boards think of you. The opinions they hold mean nothing to your everyday reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Frisky Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Well, since you brought it up... why do you think you have this reputation of being a sourpuss IRL? Take a second and think about it. Most of your posts are negative. Yes, you whine on the net because it's safe, anonymous and it's an outlet, I get that. But when a person complains to the degree of which you have consistently displayed, can you blame people here on LS for associating the term "sourpuss" with you? From out of the abundance of your heart your mouth speaks. In other words, who you are, the things you care about, they manifest in your conduct and your speech. Because you're so negative here, it doesn't make sense for people to presume you're the opposite IRL. Another ? to ponder is why are you so worried about your online LS reputation? Another follow-up to ask yourself on your own private time is, "If I care so much about what people here think of me, why do I not care about the suggestions they've given me as possible steps to self-improvement? What's the real reason holding me back from trying these different things out?" These are some ?'s you might want to consider. What makes you think "that's just not the case" ? I'm not trying to call you out or attack you here, I'm asking it from a curious point of view and NOT KNOWING MYSELF 100%. All I can do is pose the ? to you to ponder. You once said you have no clue what girls IRL think of you, something to that effect, because you've never asked. So going by that logic, HOW THEN, can you safely and confidently presume that "Girls IRL reject me not because I'm a sourpuss but because of some other reason(s)" ? If you don't know why girls are not flocking to you, then you don't know for certain why girls are shunning you. Does that make sense? Again, I think it was TheWholigan who mentioned it in your Women are allowed to be insecure thread. You seem to lack some sense of self-awareness and there seems to be a level of naivety you possess. Again, this isn't meant to be an attack on you or your character, but only trying to engage you in a honest, cold-hard-look-in-the-mirror self-examination. I don't need you to answer my ?'s publicly, but I do hope you think over my questions on your own private time. Hey, a lot of us are in denial over something or some aspect in our lives. The worst though is the person who is denial and isn't even aware of it. Because then that person will remain stuck in that place. I want to move forward in my life, not remain stuck or go backward. I know you do, too. But first we must be open, ready to do battle with our own shortcomings and we must TRY. And then we must learn, and persevere. As I posted, why the hell should SG81 give a holy **** about your opinion or anyone elses? You brought his name up. You call him out and are surprised he's defensive about it. I find him annoying, but I find know it all punk asses like yourself even worse. God Bless You, Mr Positivity. :laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 As I posted, why the hell should SG81 give a holy **** about your opinion or anyone elses? You brought his name up. You call him out and are surprised he's defensive about it. I find him annoying, but I find know it all punk asses like yourself even worse. God Bless You, Mr Positivity. :laugh::laugh: He was only trying to help. He's been in the OP's shoes. And I've been in both their shoes.... ... "unlucky" at love and "too nervous" to chat up women or thought it was "improper" to ask a woman out upon first meeting.... Found I had to do the latter @27 if I would ever enjoy a fulfilling relationship... The first time I tried that, it landed me a 1.5 year relationship.... Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Hey thanks man! I put that on the to-watch list. Have a happy Easter You too! Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Good Job Teknoe!!!! Keep up the good work...Don't backslide on your confidence at all....You are moving FORWARD....keep it going....It's nice to be in a well rounded conversation with your peers and feel good about it and yourself...Isn't that what we all strive for? Love the Confidence thing too!!!! I am very very happy for you!:D:D:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Christian woman or not, she's still a woman and women have attraction needs. If she thinks you're not "interested" in her, she places you in a friendzone, which I think I got locked into on occasion, but didn't know anything about this then. Like the great 1970s Eagles song, Take It Easy, says, We may win, and we may lose. But we will never be here again. So open up, I'm climbing in, so Take It Easy... Let's be careful out there guys and stay out of the friendzone. To brighten up some of your moods, here's that great Eagles song from 1972. Take It Easy has these great lines that are applicable to single guys asking women out: Well I'm standin' on the corner in Winslow, Arizona, such a fine sight to see. It's a girl my lord in a flat bed Ford slowin' down to take a look at me. Come on baby, don't say maybe, I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me... We may lose and we may win, But we will never be here again. So open up, I'm climbing in, so Take It Easy... Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Heard the 70s song today on an oldies station and recalled Dust's offer to help SomeDude get a woman... Not a line-by-line "instruction guide" for meeting woman, but should encourage some of you guys.... Todd Rundgren - "We Gotta Get You a Woman" Todd Rundgren We Gotta Get You A Woman (HQ) (CD Rip) - YouTube We gotta get you a woman It's like nothing else to make sure you're alive. We better get walkin', we're wasting time talkin' You say how and I'll say when You may not ever get this chance again. That empty feeling's just about to end... Talkin' bout life and what it means to you It don't mean nothing if it don't run through I've gone one thing to say and you know it's true You gotta find some time to get this thing together Talkin' bout things about that special one They may be stupid but they sure are fun I'll give it to you while we're on the run From one who has been around One who knows better than to let you down Let's hope there's one left in this town And that should take some time to get this thing together And when we're through with you, we'll get me one too... Link to post Share on other sites
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