What is appropriate for a married man and female co-worker?

[Runawayrose979]

My husband and I have ONLY been married for 15 months.

However, ever since we said, "I do", it has been such a rocky, rocky road.

Long story short, I found out six months into our marriage that my husband wasn't honest about his entire past.. Completely lied about everything when we were dating and even engaged. We have been seeking counseling ever since and trying to work past it. Also, my husband hasn't ONCE ever initiated sex EVER! if anything happens, it is because I initiated it. When I have asked him, he comes up with excuses. I have caught him emailing an old friend who is female from the past and at first he denied it but the emails were so inappropriate. Finally if that is not enough, we moved to a new city. My husband started his new job and really loves it which is great! However, it is a builders world where there are mostly men except for one female inpaticular. My husband will come home and tell me how all the other guys who are married by the way, will say how they think she is smoking hot and how she is like one of the guys. My husband once told me how he thinks that this female co worker " trust" him because she feels like she can tell him anything. My husband will come home and let it slip some of the conversations that they had at work like for instance, she asked my husband if my breast were fake and anyone who actually knows me knows I do not have a huge chest. Why they were talking about that subject is completely beyond me. I finally stressed to my husband how I feel strongly against her since I have seen her in action at parties and such. She is a MAJOR flirt and very " trashy".

I told my husband to be observant and to please stay clear of her if possible. My husband says he enjoys her friendship and we have gotten into complete knock down arguments over her. She wants to plan a fishing trip on the coast for the entire weekend for just the office and co workers and maybe a few clients. The plan is to rent a beach house. No spouses allowed basically. I told my husband that if I can't go he is not going. Our counselor is a Harvard graduate and doctor and has warned my husband but he just says what he thinks we want to hear and goes about his day. The other night I came home and was going through my husbands phone and saw he added this female co worker's cell phone and not only that but listed her birthday too! I went off in anger and he said he had everyone's bday listed that he worked with and when I asked him to show me one, there weren't any except another girl that is new. My husband said he listed her bday so he could send her a text wishing her happy bday when it rolled around. He sees nothing wrong with this. He slept on the sofa that night and said I make him " tired".

My husband never puts me first or ever thinks of my feelings. Am I over reacting or is this completely inappropriate for a married man? Thanks

[Runawayrose979]

Also, our therapist says my husband is a narcissistic person if that helps. I am still learning about that trait

[Art_Critic]

Seems like a lot of stress, drama and unnecessary attacks on each other for only being married one year.. this is supposed to be your honeymoon period.

 

Are you really sure you want to exist in the future with this person.. what happens if you have a child ?

 

I love the fact that you are in counseling but he doesn't seem to want the marriage to work and you cannot hold a marriage together by yourself.

 

Your husbands blatant disregard for your feelings on the co worker is horrible behavior for the man that is supposed to be the love your life and vise versa.

 

Maybe time for a rethink and possibly think about getting out while the time is right rather than after you have a child.

[carhill]

Am I over reacting or is this completely inappropriate for a married man?

 

Welcome to LS.

 

How does he behave wrt other women when you and he are out in public together?

 

Have either of you been married before?

 

How old are you and he?