superchic Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Can anybody tell me some sure signs of a cheating spouse? I think my guy might be cheating on me, but I might just be experienceing the jealousy bug. So anything you can tell me to help me notice signs if he might be will help, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
maria72 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Here you go...these are signs you may notice at home: Sudden increase in time away from home Decreased sexual interest Subject is often distracted and day dreaming Subject is often unavailable at work Subject attends more work functions alone Cell phone calls are not returned in timely fashion Subject leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone Subject uses computer alone and secretly Subject asks about your schedule more often than usual Mileage on car is high when only short distance errands are run Clothes smell of perfume, massage oil residue and sex Clothes contain makeup or lipstick smudges Subject gets his laundry done independently Viagra usage increases Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Good examples! I'd also like to add increased concern of hair/body/smell. They often care more about how they look. Also, watch for them talking about someone quite often that they have never really mentioned before. Great question. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Preocuppied and yet trying to be attentive to see if you've noticed it. Feelings of guilt. He may be sometimes nicer that usual, other times colder and meaner. Absent. Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Also, when you ask them where they've been they give you overly long and detailed explanations. That's because they put a lot of thought into the lie, so they come up with very detailed and long-drawn out stories. Also, check the mileage on the car ( read this somewhere). If the cheater says 'I was at work, then I went to the bar down the street with the guys, then came home' but there's 40 extra miles on the odometer that can't be accounted for, could be a sign. Also an INCREASED interest in sex (believe it not) is a sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 I'm so glad I don't have a clue..... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 He wants to buy a sports car, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 tikibrandy, Was that directed towards me?????? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 ofcourse not is that thing yours or are you just striking a pose beside it? Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 It was mine, and you're right, it is a thing.....hehe, it looks expensive but it's just a kit car I built with a Fiero.....it was fun but it's not the real thing....I spent about 10,000.00 on it and sold it for 25,000.00, call it a hobby. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 cool, it looks like one of those expensive cars that I cannot spell the name of, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 tiki, Just in case you were wondering, the kit is a replica of a Lambroghini Diablo. It was an eye catcher, I'm currently working on another Fiero, Red this time.....I love it!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly58 Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 A FIERO - now there's a blast from the past..... His kit car looks like one of those DeLoreans. Reminds me of the car in "The Wedding Singer". The one that the Don Johnson wannabe drives around in listening to the "Miami Vice" theme. Back on the topic - when my dad was having an affair on my mother he suddenly got him a pair of new cowboy boots, tacky gold jewelry and belt buckle - kept giving excuses to run an errand (when he'd run down to the corner store and use a payphone - this was before cell phones). He also started listening to really bad country music - something he couldn't stand before his affair started. Link to post Share on other sites
Rightlymia Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 How about taking showers after he comes home at 7 O'clock in the morning. Strange phone calls and hang ups. New moves in bed. I had one boyfriend who would always accuse me of cheating and I finally figured out that he was feeling guilty because he cheated on me. (I should have known after the dozen roses showed up at work) Link to post Share on other sites
DazednConfused Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 1. Suspect complains that you are "crowding" and needs "space" 2. Sudden interest in different typres of music 3. "Discoveries" of lots of new places.... restaurants, secluded walking paths, shops, etc. Unexplainable with the normal commute. 4. Intense interest in getting closer with you, then pulling away again 5. Change in attitude about your wants.....things they would usually be against. ( I think this is due to guilt) 6. His/her friends don't look you in the eye anymore. 7. Expressing desire to drop everything and take off, get away. These are a few of the things that my wife did, as well as many already listed. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugar_Cube Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Hi, I hope thats not whats going on but here are some more signs. >>> More/ or less attentive to your needs and wants, including sex. >>> Gifts that come out of no where, especially if hes not the kind to do that or its not your b-day, valentines day etc. >>> Purposly picks fights with you to see how you react or maybe give him a reason to storm off to someones elses house. >>> Very moody/unpredictable behavior....nice one minute then angry the next. >>> Sudden or drastic change in appearance. Buying more or differtent types of clothes, etc. >>> Becomes cold or inconsiderate of your feelings. >>> Becomes easily offended at comments you make no matter how harmless. Very defensive when asked a question. >>>Turns the tables on you and makes false accusations against you with no proof of why he feels that way. That stems from his own guilt. Its called projection or transferring. They transfer their guilt on to you. >>> Unusual phone calls or hang ups. Those are a few. Remember though these are clues or signs not actual proof. I hope everything goes ok for you. Best of luck and let us know if you pick up on any of these things. Link to post Share on other sites
lisamh Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 i ticked off at least 3 signs that u posted Link to post Share on other sites
Verymuchinlove Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Originally posted by Sugar_Cube yes: >>> Purposly picks fights with you to see how you react or maybe give him a reason to storm off to someones elses house. yes: >>> Very moody/unpredictable behavior....nice one minute then angry the next. yes: >>> Becomes cold or inconsiderate of your feelings. yes: >>> Becomes easily offended at comments you make no matter how harmless. Very defensive when asked a question. yes: >>>Turns the tables on you and makes false accusations against you with no proof of why he feels that way. That stems from his own guilt. Its called projection or transferring. They transfer their guilt on to you. My finace does this sometimes, but she does them all at the same time. I'll say something that easily offends her, she'll get angry, argument ensues, I try and explain that nothing is wrong and she can get cold, and even says I say things mean when I don't (she thinks the way I say things has a neggative tone). I don't think she's cheating though, there's no time for her to do it (which is good for me). She has told me she needs reassurance and that an ex-fiance treated her badly. When I ask for details she doesn't want to tell me. She's a worry wart, but I really don't think she is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Yes, cheaters may try to turn the tables on you and accuse YOU of cheating. It's a distraction they use to make you not focus on the real issue That's a very common tractic Link to post Share on other sites
Rightlymia Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 My ex used to accuse me of cheating all the time but he was the one doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Yikes Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 The cheater will also sometimes sabotage their own marriage or relationship and in turn try to find or CREATE problems in order to justify their extracurricular activities. There is less guilt for them to try to choke down if they can convince themselves that their actions are justified. Some cheaters have a real knack at convincing themselves that THEY are the victim. No marriage is going to get better when one person is spending all of there energy on an outside relationship. I would go as far to say that the marriage is doomed to fail... but that's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
dassme Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 I agree with some of the tell tale signs of a cheater. My ex fit into "Your cheating on me so I think it's best that we don't stay together anymore. I don't have any trust in you any longer!" I was so dumbfounded with her conclusion of me cheating on her! I didn't give any reasons for her to think I was cheating on her! Now I understand and see the whole picture! Hopefully I'm not jumping into any conclusions without solid evidence that she was but somehow my gut tells me otherwise! Link to post Share on other sites
Love2BLoved Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 You can always tell by the cell-phobe bill!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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