I wish i knew what i did wrong.

[KS11]

Sorry to post again, im just really struggling at the moment and don't really feel like i have someone to turn too.

 

I posted before about a situation i had with this girl, that appears to now, be over. Im just so confused about whats happened. Before christmas she told me I needed to get over her, and then a couple of weeks into NC, she gets in contact saying that shes broken up with someone she was seeing, because she realised how much i meant to her and that she wanted to give something a go. I honestly couldn't have been happier.

 

A few days after, i just wanted to make sure she meant what she said, and to see if she had sorted out things with the other guy. Fast forward a few weeks of not speaking at all. She is doing a really intense teaching course, i tried on several occasions to speak to her, find out if she was doing ok, needed any help etc, but just got that she was busy, dont read into things etc. This all culminates in a big argument, we her saying that i was putting to much pressure on her. But that she doesnt blame me, shes just busy.

 

That was 3 weeks ago and we havent spoken since. I miss her so much, I don't know what to do, i cant understand why she would have said she wanted to give something a go, and then just happily walk out of my life. I just wish i knew what i did wrong, i cant stop analysing it, even if i had doen something bad, people all make mistakes, why cant she give me a second chance, its like im being punished for wanting to be there for her.

 

Stupidly, i went ahead a sent her a valentines gift, which i know someone on here said not to, I guess it was some pathetic attempt to apologise, and let her know i still care.

 

Again, im really sorry for posting again, i just was hoping someone might have been in a similar situation and might be able to tell me what i should do! It really feels like ive lost my best friend. I miss her so much.

[blindnowisee]

Women find alpha males attractive. What's the definition of an alpha male? Basically it's a guy that is 100% confident with himself, knows where he's going and enjoys life (with our without you).

 

Reflect to how you've been acting. You've been acting dependent, hopelessly clinging on to any straws she's feeding you. Dude.. you need to take a step back, sort yourself out and start becoming a better person. Once you do that you'll find it a lot easier to get back to your ex (or with any other girl) as they will see how confident you are and be attracted to you.

 

By acting like a beta, smothering her with texts, gifts and other ways of begging her to get back to you will only get you further away from your goal.

 

Long story short: you need to grow a pair of balls my friend and I say that with all due respect..

[Chs]

I hope i don't hurt you here, but to me it seems like she used you as comfort when breaking it off with the other guy and then found out she was better on her own.

 

Same thing happened to me back in december, my ex had met another guy and they were together for a few weeks where she told me i needed to move on. Then someone told me they had ended things and immediatly she was there, talking to me and texting me again. I actually believed we would get back together, but fast forward 1½ months they are now together again and im just set back even more in moving on.

 

To me it seems like an excuse they make up for ending something else, and use you for comfort as they know you will provide it.

 

I think you should leave her totally alone and not expect anything at all, if she does come to you she will do it on her own but honestly i don't see it happening here. Sorry to tell you

[Whisky1981]

Ok no real advice here but just my experience so you will see you are not alone.

 

Have been in a 9 year relationship. She broke up with me like she has felt from a plane (instant death). I was given some BS reasons that were all adjustable with little effort.

 

I have never got a second chance to redeem myself. It was NC since 2 months ago when she gave me the reasons. After that I discovered that she had a new boyfriend and that she was cheating on me for 6 months.

 

It effen hurts. It tears your heart apart and breaks it into million pieces.

 

But when a women does this to you you should never get back together with her. She will just hurt you again in the future. She is like that it is just that love blinds us from seeing her for what she really is.

 

Get over her man. Go out with your friends. Meet new people. Find new hobbies. Play computer games and watch movies, WORK OUT (thats a great way to pump yourself up and rebuild self confidence).

 

Just be strong and live your life. Try not to linger in depression and pain. You will get over it you will see. I have been broken hearted for a month but now after two months I feel much better. You will feel better too.

 

Be strong and dont let her manipulate you the next time she will call.

[KS11]

Chs: Im sorry to hear you had something similar. Im sure you must feel the same, its just hard to take when you think this person cares about you but the reality is very different. I guess i just have to disregard everything she told me.

 

Blindnowisee: I've heard a lot about this alpha male thing, and whilst i think it holds true for some women, do you believe its the only way to be? I ask purely out of interest? I just don't seem to be able to get the right combination of showing that i care and coming over 'hopelessly clingling' as you put it.

 

Thanks for the comments, like i say its been 3 weeks without hearing from her, so i think thats as clear as sign as any that the 'relationship' meant nothing. I keep repeating in my head a quote from someone on LS...something like, if someones willing to lose you from their life, go ahead and let them.' ....very true.

 

Im sure it'll get easy, i mean its only the person i love, i've lost...and you meet those all the time right!