sominret Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I'm considering separating from my husband soon, the problem is that neither of us can leave because we don't have the money to afford a new place. We don't have many friends either, so we can't move in with them and our families are a bit far away. So at least for now, we are stuck living together until we both save enough money to afford a new place. I'm thinking it can go as much as a year. Has anyone gone through this? Has anyone lived "together" but separately, i.e as roomates or friends? Does it actually work? I'm planning on each of us having their own bedroom, cook and eat separately, do their own laundry, etc. What else? Or maybe it's a crazy idea that can't work? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Someone who wanted a serious relationship with you would steer clear. If you are dating other separated people, they might understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I'm considering separating from my husband soon, the problem is that neither of us can leave because we don't have the money to afford a new place. We don't have many friends either, so we can't move in with them and our families are a bit far away. So at least for now, we are stuck living together until we both save enough money to afford a new place. I'm thinking it can go as much as a year. Has anyone gone through this? Has anyone lived "together" but separately, i.e as roomates or friends? Does it actually work? I'm planning on each of us having their own bedroom, cook and eat separately, do their own laundry, etc. What else? Or maybe it's a crazy idea that can't work? I divorced my XH in October and lived with him until Jan. 28th. It was one of the most miserable times I have ever spent in my life. He was dating during this time, having moved on prior to the demise of our marriage (I guess you can see what the problem was there) and then while we were living together. He made phone calls, took phone calls and his phone announced who it was. He got texts, sent texts, phone dinged when he got messages on facebook. Anyway, I am not really that happy being by myself as I was married for 22 years and have no family here and honestly, I am lonely, but it is still better than watching him move on so fast and act like we were never married. I am not made that way. I am mourning the loss of my marriage; he is not. I guess it depends on what your situation is. If you are ready to see him date or are ready to date yourself, maybe it would work. I would never do it again...I can tell you that. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 maybe it's a crazy idea that can't work? That about sums it up. Link to post Share on other sites
elfman Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 I am going through this right now with my wife (she wanted a divorce, I was hoping to work on the marriage). It has been hell, the problem is that living together does not give the space needed to heal by pure ignorance of the other person's actions and life. As an example, my wife goes out constantly until very late and I am left wondering all the sort of things a man wonders when his wife goes out... is she with another guy, is she ok? is she drunk? etc. It's been only 3 weeks and I can tell you it has been hell. I would consider moving if I were you, because you cannot expect your husband to "understand" all your attitudes and actions, and it will simply make life miserable for both of you. If you have no children, it's a lot easier, move and get a smaller place, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 The only way this would work is if both of you are absolutely on the same page. If both of you want to be separated - if both of you are okay with the other person dating. I don't mean just saying that you are okay with it, but actually being okay with it. I am currently separated from my wife and she is pursuing a relationship with a man she cheated with. It's terrible, even though i resent her and I feel indifferent towards her, I can not properly heal because i see her face every damn day and it opens up the wounds constantly. As I said, IF this is mutual then it can work. The slightest hope on either side of getting back together, no way it would work, it will be a disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
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