mitchell Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I think dating a man with a wife, who is not in an open relationship, is the start of the drama But it would seem that his wife is tacitly agreeing to an open relationship. She's even shared her husband with the OP. I would say this grudgingly gives consent to the whole arrangement. My point was that she should not allow his wife to barge into her home if she does not want her there. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 But it would seem that his wife is tacitly agreeing to an open relationship. She's even shared her husband with the OP. I would say this grudgingly gives consent to the whole arrangement. My point was that she should not allow his wife to barge into her home if she does not want her there. I get your point. I'm saying though, that this did not start that way. It was a normal affair, the wife literally caught them red-handed and seemed to have grudgingly agreed to sharing. That was the beginning of the drama IMO...if he had no wife who did not know he was secretly seeing you, then she would not have spied, would not have made a tacit or outright sharing agreement ex-post facto, then AtotheN would not have had to oblige her and there would be no situation. The larger point is, both AtotheN and the wife are bent out of shape agreeing to tolerate each other as a ploy to keep this man around in their lives, as he already made it clear he's gonna do as he wishes. The problem IMO is not for AtotheN to have boundaries with his wife or rules for her or for the wife to do the same...the problem is this man and his complete non-factor in a situation he caused and for them to open their eyes and see that while they are BOTH unhappy and compromising for HIM, he is pleased as punch and already told them he would not compromise for them! Link to post Share on other sites
jaloka Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 no expectations, no illusions that we will ever be together. we went through a rough patch last year because i couldn't share. but then the dust settled and i had to make a choice. i chose him. for now it works. he rocks my world. i do date here and there and MM knows if i met someone he'll be dropped. this has happen couple times. I agree with this, though (not judging at all, just saying it's kind of odd) in some sense your MM is using you, for 6 years in an affair.. After so long I'm sure you have expecatations and hopes that he'll be yours? More than just an affair? Maybe you're happy with how things are, being his second fiddle while he still lives his life with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
LilMissMovinOn Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 (edited) I feel bad for both AtotheN and the wife....as really, neither of them are in a great position. The only "winner" who is not compromising and not feeling badly is the MM in this case. It is sad that two women really think this man is all that or that they aren't all that, better yet, that they would put themselves in such a predicament smh. This man has cheated on the wife before, hence her need to break into the OW's house and catch them in bed...then have this man say he's not leaving, then have the OW ask you to join in bed... and you agree...I mean...what is going on here???!!! ALL parties, from the account, need cold water splashed on them to wake them up. The thread title is appropriate...as NO ONE in this story has any personal boundaries. I'm with you MsBee, & I am not laughing. Seriously, I'm NOT! (pee's pants instead)... To the OP, I don't mean to make light of your situation, as you could end up with a costly safety issue on yr hands if u own yr home & the W flips out but, this is the funniest thing I have read all day! I repeat. What MsBee said (& mayb a swingers site for more specific support...?) As in the 'B' word (Boundaries. Set some. Quick!) Edited February 18, 2012 by LilMissMovinOn Link to post Share on other sites
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