lemonlegs Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 ...would you go out of your way to say anything?? This is just hypothetical. My ex was told that I cheated on him, which isn't even true. I hooked up with a guy while we were broken up for a month and apparently this was misconstrued. We have been broken up for 3 months. Even so, would you go out of your way to cause a bunch of drama despite the fact that it was no longer relevant? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I've had my suspicions about this, outlined elsewhere on these forums and, no, other than working through the process of understanding here, I wouldn't say anything. The D is done, we've moved on and life is too short to revisit the past for no valid or healthy reason. That's my perspective on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocahontas36 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 why waste your time? It's called EX for a reason... Keep it moving Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Well, my ex told me he had cheated after we broke up. I was pissed as f*ck--like why in the world would he choose to say something after I dumped him?! It just caused me more pain. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Well, my ex told me he had cheated after we broke up. I was pissed as f*ck--like why in the world would he choose to say something after I dumped him?! It just caused me more pain. Because you dumped him & he knew it would piss you off? Duh. LOL! OP, as long as the ex is out of your life who the hell cares? Waste of energy. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I wouldn't cause any drama but I'd think less of her as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 ...would you go out of your way to say anything?? No, I wouldn't bother. Unless she contacted me in some way, THEN I'd tell her I now know and the look the other way if she sees me on the street and lose my phone number. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 So, what exactly are you looking for here? Not to be mean. But, if he thinks you cheated on him, he's going to keep on believing that you cheated on him. It could be a coping mechanism for him to help himself get over you. And if that's what it takes, then.....so be it. I mean you're not getting back with him anyway, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonlegs Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 So, what exactly are you looking for here? Not to be mean. But, if he thinks you cheated on him, he's going to keep on believing that you cheated on him. It could be a coping mechanism for him to help himself get over you. And if that's what it takes, then.....so be it. I mean you're not getting back with him anyway, right? I was just curious. There have been other developments so it piqued my interests to know what others would do. And I was right, most people would've moved on. I definitely see it as a coping mechanism for him. It just sucks that I'm getting dragged down as a person in the process, but you're right, so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I was just curious. There have been other developments so it piqued my interests to know what others would do. And I was right, most people would've moved on. I definitely see it as a coping mechanism for him. It just sucks that I'm getting dragged down as a person in the process, but you're right, so be it. If you're worried about what people will think. People are curious by nature and they're probably going to ask you. That's your time to set the record straight. You don't need to worry. Things usually blow over pretty quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Tough one. I'm going wih the assumption that you would want to set him straight for his benefit, not out of some desire to clear your name. On the one hand, believing that you cheated could be helping him move on. On the other hand, a betrayal can really fcvk up some people. If u care about the guy, u probably don't want him to have trust issues in future relationships because of this. Personally, I would let him know the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonlegs Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 Tough one. I'm going wih the assumption that you would want to set him straight for his benefit, not out of some desire to clear your name. On the one hand, believing that you cheated could be helping him move on. On the other hand, a betrayal can really fcvk up some people. If u care about the guy, u probably don't want him to have trust issues in future relationships because of this. Personally, I would let him know the truth. Spookie, you're absolutely right. It's not just about clearing my name, because as Chi pointed out, if someone is curious, they'll ask. And those who don't ask, I probably don't care about anyways. I cared about him a lot, and still do, and it breaks my heart to think that he won't even talk to me at all anymore and has told my friends that he's "going to forget our relationship ever happened." Basically, he told our mutual friend that there's "a lot that makes me think she cheated." Interestingly enough, he never thought that until his jackass friend made him think otherwise. What he's being suspicious of now was simply me just wanting to get out of the relationship, not me having sex with another guy behind his back. I don't even know how to go about it anymore. Everyone I know has told me to "forget about it." I feel like his refusal to listen to me and then perpetuate the rumour indicates that it is a coping method for him, but again, it's not fair to me, and I don't like that he's actually embarrassing himself by telling MY friends things like that, as they know that I did not actually cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
ditzchic Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I found out my ex (who I was with for 7 years) was cheating on me for most of our relationship after we broke up. I had my suspicions while we were together but I never pursued them. I found out from the girl he was cheating on me with. And we were now friends when she told me. We had no idea about each other at the time. She knew he had a girlfriend but she didn't know it was me. I didn't make a big deal out of it or tell him I found out. It was a shock at first but it wore off quick. I was already moved on. I wasn't going back. Her and I are still actually friends to this day and hang out quite frequently. I always wonder what would happen if we were out together and ran into him. I would LOVE to see his face. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunnybaby Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Just don't care about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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