I feel really really depressed. How do I get better?

[Ross MwcFan]

I'm already taking medication.

 

I'm already seeing a therapist.

 

I've already been and gone to see my doctor many times to tell him that I'm still feeling really bad, but he doesn't really do anything to help.

 

I'm taking flower remedies, but I'm not that hopeful that they'll work.

 

I try to go out everyday, but that doesn't work.

 

I exercise everyday, but that doesn't work.

[Eddie Edirol]

Are you depressed because of your luck with women? What have you done to learn about them to increase your chances of dates?

[Ross MwcFan]

I suffer from depression anyway, so even if I could get women I'm sure I would still feel depressed.

 

This situation what has made it a lot worse, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t313528/ as well as certain posters in that topic.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Teknoe]

I'm already taking medication.

 

I'm already seeing a therapist.

 

I've already been and gone to see my doctor many times to tell him that I'm still feeling really bad, but he doesn't really do anything to help.

 

I'm taking flower remedies, but I'm not that hopeful that they'll work.

 

I try to go out everyday, but that doesn't work.

 

I exercise everyday, but that doesn't work.

 

 

Ross, you've read my posts to SD81.

You know I'm a man of faith.

 

I don't know where you stand with all that, but I'll say the same thing to you that I did to SD81.

 

What you seem to lack is a circle of folks who support you and can walk alongside you in this journey we call life.

 

I'd recommend visiting a church for a couple Sundays in a row, finding out small groups, checking one out (i.e. mine meet every Tuesday, 7-9 PM). In a small group, you have anywhere from 6-12 people, sharing about their lives, struggles, hopes, dreams and try to apply Biblical principles into our current day situations.

 

I've found many Christians to be very loving, supporting and understanding.

 

I think you could benefit from find a consistent group of loving folks to love on you.

 

Honestly, please keep an open mind and just try it out before you write the idea off. At this point, you could use a divine intervention. Please try it out for a month and report back.

[Belle Vie]

I'm already taking medication.

 

I'm already seeing a therapist.

 

I've already been and gone to see my doctor many times to tell him that I'm still feeling really bad, but he doesn't really do anything to help.

 

I'm taking flower remedies, but I'm not that hopeful that they'll work.

 

I try to go out everyday, but that doesn't work.

 

I exercise everyday, but that doesn't work.

 

 

First thing you could do is to change doctors. If this one isn't listening to you, he's not a very good doctor, at least not for you. Different doctors have different approaches, and it just sounds like his approach isn't meshing with your needs. You often need to keep changing therapists until you find one you "click" with.

 

Other than that, I think you probably just learn to live with the depression, while doing all the stuff you're doing to fight it and stay a part of life.

 

I also suffer from depression--the kind that all of the stuff on your list doesn't really do much to help--and I just live with it. I have for years. I very easily slip into nihilism and really don't see the point of much at all. I appreciate the times when I can just stay home, stay in bed, watch television or sleep and just wallow in it. Finding the energy to get up and do what I need to do, especially at those times when I see no purpose or meaning in it, is sometimes nearly impossible.

 

But I do, somehow. I make sure I do what I need to do to support myself and stay a part of the world (job, school, going to lunch with friends occasionally, etc.). I simply don't allow myself to slip completely into depression, because that would mean my life would disintegrate and I would become a burden on friends/family or homeless or worse. Depressed or not, I don't want that to happen. So, if nothing else, you could use similar motivation to get yourself through life. There is satisfaction in keeping yourself going and supporting yourself, even when you're feeling like crap.

 

I also pay very close attention to what I eat, because certain foods (mostly carbs) can really send me into a deeper hole. A good diet keeps me more functional than a bad one.

 

I have a friend who really is concerned for me about my depression who advised me to completely change my life up. Move to a different city, live a different life, even if for a short time. Her reasoning was that such changes wouldn't do any harm and would give me something interesting to distract me--or even possibly lead me to a life that would make me feel better about things. Or, on a smaller scale, take a weekend trip to somewhere interesting, visit a museum or attraction you've never seen before, etc. Just doing different things to keep your mind engaged in the world.

 

I haven't made a big move yet, although I'd really like to. But I do try to do more now and then that's different from my normal routine. I thought I'd share her advice with you since I thought it was good advice.

 

Anyway, those are my three pieces of advice, from my own experience with depression: Switch doctors, eat healthy foods (and avoid those that make you feel worse), and do everything you can to stay engaged in SPITE of your depression. Not sure if this will help you, but since it helps me, I thought I'd share anyway.

[FitChick]

Belle Vie, I agree with you about food. When I am stressed and/or depressed I crave sugar and starch. Of course, when you eat that you feel bad so crave even more. It's a vicious cycle. Sugar is as addictive as cocaine. I am struggling to go cold turkey for a week until I attend a function next weekend. Having a goal for a short period of time is helpful.

 

I'd also suggest Ross take at least 5000 IU of Vitamin D3 and calcium, good for mood. Eating oily fish, like salmon and mackerel, are good for mood. Ross, start googling foods that fight depression and make a list. Make that your job for now -- clean up your diet. You will have more energy and think more clearly later on.

[pie2]

Do you know God?

[beautifulearth83]

Just let yourself be depressed. Too many people are focused on getting happy. What is happiness? It's not an ingredient in a sandwich. It's not a body part on a Woman, although... well, that's another discussion.

 

The more you reach out for things to be happy, the more you're validating yourself as an unhappy person. Winter is not a bad season because it is the opposite of Summer. It is a bad season because people resist and complain about it.

 

Embrace yourself. You're strong and capable. After all, you're a human being. Whether you're black, white or in a wheelchair, we all have the same capabilities. Especially if you have all your limbs, organs and relatively good resources.

 

Take a deep breath, find the moment and focus on what you can do right now.

[somedude81]

If only doctors could prescribe sex.

 

There would be a lot less depressed people out there.

[Kamille]

I didn't read the other thread, but I echo beautifulearth. The hardest thing about depression is accepting that there are no quick fix. That likely means accepting that it's okay to feel down. Recognize that you are already doing what you can and that you are doing your best. Give time a chance to operate change.

[Belle Vie]

I didn't read the other thread, but I echo beautifulearth. The hardest thing about depression is accepting that there are no quick fix. That likely means accepting that it's okay to feel down. Recognize that you are already doing what you can and that you are doing your best. Give time a chance to operate change.

 

Previous posters have said what I was trying to say much better than I did. I suffer from depression, but I've accepted it. That acceptance helps me get up and get going when I otherwise would be unable to do so.

 

By continuing to do the things that I know help my depression and keeping myself doing the things I need to do, I am able to avoid the debilitating severe episodes and stay in the mild to moderate range. I also can maintain some hope that someday I will be able to address long-term issues that are fueling my depression and that perhaps something will change for the better. As I get older, that part of it is diminishing, but it's still there to some extent.

 

So acceptance is a big part of the battle.

[FitChick]

I found one list of foods to fight depression. It's interesting that except for popcorn, lentils and sunflower seeds, I eat most of those foods fairly regularly and am not often depressed. I also eat salmon and other fish three times a week. Try it, Ross. You have nothing to lose but your tears.

 

Popcorn

Walnuts

Bananas

Dairy products

Citrus

Avocado

Lentils

Sunflower seeds

Eggs

 

Try eating Greek yogurt with walnuts and bananas with a drizzle of honey and it's like an ice cream treat, only good for you. Yummy!

[cerridwen]

I'm already taking medication.

 

I'm already seeing a therapist.

 

I've already been and gone to see my doctor many times to tell him that I'm still feeling really bad, but he doesn't really do anything to help.

 

GPs worth their salt won't keep changing medications indefinitely if they feel the depression is situational.

It's pointless.

Haven't you had several doctors and numerous changes?

And didn't one or two psychiatrists also find your depression/anxiety to be situational?

 

If so, a battery of physicians advising only support groups and therapy, and refusing more medicine changes, suggests it's not a medical issue at all, but one better addressed through lifestyle and psychological changes.

 

Do you find that comforting at all?

That several experts feel it's down to how you're living rather than something gone chemically haywire within you?

There's power in that.

[johan]

C is saying the same thing I would. When you start living the life of a man, working, providing for yourself, building things, facing the world and being part of it, you'll feel like you're born again. Unfortunately, I don't think you have the courage to make the changes that matter.

 

To most people, Ross, your situation looks like someone terrified to step over a puddle of water, because they are afraid of drowning. You don't realize how simple it is.

[Teknoe]

If only doctors could prescribe sex.

 

There would be a lot less depressed people out there.

 

That's what some people like to think.

 

But sex (or lack of sex) is not the problem here. It's a longing to be loved... a longing for relationship and intimacy (beyond just casual sex)

 

OK sure, if you got casual sex you might smile for those moments, but in the end, at the end of the day, you'll be alone and very lonely, yearning for something deeper than sex.

 

 

Do you know God?

 

And speaking of love... GOD IS LOVE.

 

I wonder myself if Ross believes in God. I advised him to check out his local church for 3-4 Sundays in a row. I pray he'll give it a shot. At this point, there's nowhere to go but up.

[Ross MwcFan]

I found one list of foods to fight depression. It's interesting that except for popcorn, lentils and sunflower seeds, I eat most of those foods fairly regularly and am not often depressed. I also eat salmon and other fish three times a week. Try it, Ross. You have nothing to lose but your tears.

 

Popcorn

Walnuts

Bananas

Dairy products

Citrus

Avocado

Lentils

Sunflower seeds

Eggs

 

Try eating Greek yogurt with walnuts and bananas with a drizzle of honey and it's like an ice cream treat, only good for you. Yummy!

 

Yeah, I'm definatley going to consider changing my diet.

[Ross MwcFan]

GPs worth their salt won't keep changing medications indefinitely if they feel the depression is situational.

It's pointless.

Haven't you had several doctors and numerous changes?

And didn't one or two psychiatrists also find your depression/anxiety to be situational?

 

If so, a battery of physicians advising only support groups and therapy, and refusing more medicine changes, suggests it's not a medical issue at all, but one better addressed through lifestyle and psychological changes.

 

Do you find that comforting at all?

That several experts feel it's down to how you're living rather than something gone chemically haywire within you?

There's power in that.

 

I think so cerri, I think so.

[Ross MwcFan]

C is saying the same thing I would. When you start living the life of a man, working, providing for yourself, building things, facing the world and being part of it, you'll feel like you're born again. Unfortunately, I don't think you have the courage to make the changes that matter.

 

To most people, Ross, your situation looks like someone terrified to step over a puddle of water, because they are afraid of drowning. You don't realize how simple it is.

 

I'm just worried about doing stupid things in front of people. People not liking me. And people treating me badly.

 

These things when they happen (and they do seem to whenever I try and put myself out into the world more, and do the things I'm fearful of) really make me feel like crap about myself, they send me into a deep depression, and fill me with anxiety.

 

That's why I made the topic asking how I can stop caring about what others think of me.

[Ross MwcFan]

That's what some people like to think.

 

But sex (or lack of sex) is not the problem here. It's a longing to be loved... a longing for relationship and intimacy (beyond just casual sex)

 

OK sure, if you got casual sex you might smile for those moments, but in the end, at the end of the day, you'll be alone and very lonely, yearning for something deeper than sex.

 

 

 

 

And speaking of love... GOD IS LOVE.

 

I wonder myself if Ross believes in God. I advised him to check out his local church for 3-4 Sundays in a row. I pray he'll give it a shot. At this point, there's nowhere to go but up.

 

Hey Teknoe, I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't offend, but I just don't believe in that kind of stuff. I don't think religion is always that healthy either.

[jerbear]

It is not one thing but multiple things in your case.

 

In addition to your diet and medical visits; have you exercised?

 

I remember you getting anxiety over seeing other people working out and judging, but in reality many people don't do that.

[Ross MwcFan]

It is not one thing but multiple things in your case.

 

In addition to your diet and medical visits; have you exercised?

 

I remember you getting anxiety over seeing other people working out and judging, but in reality many people don't do that.

 

I recently got a bench, and I already have weights, so I'm starting to do full workouts regulary again.

[Teknoe]

Hey Teknoe, I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't offend, but I just don't believe in that kind of stuff. I don't think religion is always that healthy either.

 

It doesn't offend me.

 

I would like to ask, however, why not attend a social? Small groups do lots of "non-church" activities. i.e. bowling night, board game night, potluck, etc.

 

We're not always reading or quoting the Bible.

 

I understand you don't believe in it, but you should at least find out about some socials around you and check one out. Again, as it is with SD81, I see a terrible lack of support in your real life. A social circle to encourage and walk alongside you.

 

Even though you don't believe, you can find LOVE in a small group... and that's what we all need -- regardless of whether we believe or not.

 

Honestly, you should just try. Could be the big breakthrough you're looking for. After all, nothing else has worked for you. I'd urge you not to write this idea off so quickly. You could be missing out on the healing that you desperately need.

[somedude81]

Yay, Teknoe found a new focus.

 

I wish you well Ross.

[Ross MwcFan]

It doesn't offend me.

 

I would like to ask, however, why not attend a social? Small groups do lots of "non-church" activities. i.e. bowling night, board game night, potluck, etc.

 

We're not always reading or quoting the Bible.

 

I understand you don't believe in it, but you should at least find out about some socials around you and check one out. Again, as it is with SD81, I see a terrible lack of support in your real life. A social circle to encourage and walk alongside you.

 

Even though you don't believe, you can find LOVE in a small group... and that's what we all need -- regardless of whether we believe or not.

 

Honestly, you should just try. Could be the big breakthrough you're looking for. After all, nothing else has worked for you. I'd urge you not to write this idea off so quickly. You could be missing out on the healing that you desperately need.

 

I don't mind the idea of joining a group at all. I know I have genuine nice friends online who support me, and I really appreciate that, but it would be nice to have some offline too, who I could actually socialise with.

[PlumPrincess]

Hey Teknoe, I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't offend, but I just don't believe in that kind of stuff. I don't think religion is always that healthy either.

You just gained some points. Although Teknoe does sound as if he wants to help.