Ever feel like a pariah after a BU?

[moosekaka]

You know how they say you lose all your mutual friends after a BU? Lately I feel like an outcast, especially since I quit. Its like if I show up at lab I'm not even there, perhaps I'm being sensitive but I'm glad I'm leaving. I don't know why it has to be like this though....if people would talk to me they would see I'm not a criminal.

[Chs]

You know, after my break up i realised how much i had alienated myself from my friends. They never really invited me out anymore as i was spending my weekends with the girlfriend, and i didn't feel the same need to party or stay in contact with anyone.

 

So when we broke up i was pretty damn lonely, in the beginning i had only 2 people i could talk to and it was rough as hell. But i just decided to pull myself together and work for it, i started talking to everyone. Just chatting them up, calling, asking if someone wanted to hang out and even asked to be invited to events i was left out of.

 

Now after 4 months of working for it i feel like my social life is greater than ever, and i have alot more support that is also making the break up easier regardless of how emotional i am around it.

 

Nothing comes of itself man, and working for this might make you think less about the girl too.

[moosekaka]

Nothing comes of itself man, and working for this might make you think less about the girl too.

 

I 100% agree, its good I am no longer in that lab as it just wasn't a healthy place for me. In terms of social life I find that they are more people now talking to me since I started getting into new activities( and should be even more once I start my gig at the animal shelter).

 

I meant the pariah feeling refers to the 'old' group of people I used to know from that lab.....its hard to divorce yourself completely from a place you have been in for years.

[Philosoraptor]

I pretty much told our mutual friends to take care of her as I will be ok. She apparantly took the negatives she offered to the relationship and put it on those friends. I randomly started to get messages from them degrading her and telling me to sue her for every penny she was worth in the trial. I told them to forgive her and understand that she is going through a lot right now and rebounding has really left her emotionally lost. Now I'm seeing said mutual friends, for the first time in many months, this weekend.

[moosekaka]

It sucks cause I get the feeling like I'm being sent into exile, on the surface self imposed but really I'm just too sensitive to not notice the way people look at me differently now, with less respect.

 

Oh well at least looking for a job/new gig occupies my mind now, but she still lurks just beneath.....

 

Looking back to a year ago....at the time I was just about looking at her resume among a bunch of other when deciding to hire a new assistant......I can't believe that this is how things would turn out just 360 days later.... it feels a lot longer than that.

Edited February 14, 2012 by moosekaka

[KJauron]

Just ended a relationship last weekend, any mutual friends of ours (who were originally friends of his) have been giving me dirty looks and ignoring me... only two of them will talk to me right now; one is like a brother to me, and the other had no idea until today. I'm not surprised, since I was the one to end it, but it still hurts that they can't be mature and still talk to me as well....

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the mutual friends that will look past everything and still be friends with both of you, they're the ones that are true and that matter. As for the others, most of them will hopefully come around once the BU isn't as fresh.