Girlfriend is openly discussing two-timing me and my friend. Help please.

[drgibson3]

I've recently become involved with this girl who is great. But she has a past relationship that's coming back to haunt her. Normally, I would just say "OK, go be with him." but she knows that I really want to be with her.

 

What's most shocking is that she's openly discussing the possibility being with both of us. The other guy is a friend of mine so I just have no clue what to do. I don't want to do the normal thing and just say screw it, because she's a really good person (besides the apparent soon-to-be two-timing).

 

So here's where you come in, has anyone been in a situation similar to this before? If you have what did you do and how did it work out?

[disguy]

Ack!! Are you seriously considering being 2nd best? You want to be with her, so just give her an Utimatum and tell her to choose. Because if her heart isn't completely with you then why would you even bother? Yeah she maybe sweet and all the things you say about her, but it isn't fair to you and it isn't even fair to you friend. Usually dating someone eventually leads to marriage (unless you are way to young of course, but there are instances where one has married their childhood girlfriend) and how would you feel about starting a life with her and she still has feelings for this guy? I dunno i seen some pretty strange things happen before. I mean watch Jerry Springer. This to me seems ridiculous. I hope that you haven't fallen really heard for this girl because this that will make it even more difficult.

[DerangedAngel]

What?! Dude. She can't have the best of both worlds. I wish I could shake you right now. Seriously.

 

If she can't choose, walk away. Personally, I'd walk away even if she decided that she could. Once I know that I'm not the only person someone wants to be with, it's pretty much over.

 

she's a really good person (besides the apparent soon-to-be two-timing).

 

Uh, so? If having a girlfriend cheat on you (trying to do it openly, even!) is a big deal to you - it doesn't matter how good her other qualities are.

 

Please don't let her hurt you. You deserve to have someone be crazy about you. Not you, and your friend, and your neighbor, and your dad. You know.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

-Deranged

[drgibson3]

yeah that's what i'm thinking. i just needed to have people who aren't in the middle of everything give me advice. because as you can imagine, everyone i know is involved in this.

[lost girlie]

I know that you are going to hate hearing this, but after a really messy break up I went through a similar situation, from the point of view of the girl.

 

Although this was not one of my proudest moments, I truly did learn a lot. I felt strongly about 2 friends of mine and was upfront with both. I explained that I would like to see both of them and that if either had a problem to inform me ASAP and that we could discuss our alternatives.

 

I discovered who I liked and became close friends with the other. None of us are dating now, but we are all really good friends that have maintained our friendships through honesty with each other and ourselves.

 

If your girlfriend is being this honest with you, and you love her as much as you say you do and believe that she loves you, I feel that you really have nothing to lose. Chances are that she will come to realize that she does love you and not the other guy and if she feels the same of you as you feel for her, nothing will happen that will jeopardize your relationship.

 

On the other hand, if something does happen, it is best for you to know now so you can move on with your life and maybe find someone that has the same ideals, goals, and feelings that you do.

 

I hope that I did not come off as too much of a "bad" person and that this was at all helpful. Best of luck and keep us informed!

[drgibson3]

I hope that I did not come off as too much of a "bad" person and that this was at all helpful. Best of luck and keep us informed!

 

no not at all, that's why i posted this question.

[branan]

From a girl's point of view:

 

She's playing you for a fool, and doing remarkably well. This is a friend of yours she's openly admitting to wanting to "two-time" you with? STAY AWAY!!! Something's not right. I don't like it at all.