fancypants Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 My ex-husband and I decided to give our relationship a second chance. Things are going incredible good right now. I have a this fear of us falling into our old habits that made us split up in the first place. But things seem different between he and I. I feel so much more in love with him, now than ever before. The problem is everyone one I know is giving me a hard time about getting back together with him. They keep telling me I should stay away from him and give myself more time. I guess I need to know how to cope with these people and what should I say to them? My ex and I have been split up for about 8 months. We were always on talking terms and still considered each other a good friend...another thing most people don’t understand. So what should I do about people who look at me like I am stupid? Link to post Share on other sites
maria72 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I guess it depends on why you and your husband broke up in the first place. How much information did you give your friends and family about those reasons? Do your friends and family have a valid reason to worry about your emotional or physical well-being and your overall safety by your getting back together with him? If not, then I would tell these people to mind their own business. Link to post Share on other sites
krbshappy71 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 So did you actually go through with the divorce or just separated? I geuss it would depend, for me, as to why the people broke up in the first place. If friends of mine went back to their ex's after spending hours and days complaining to me about how awful they were before the divorce then ya, I'd probably think they were crazy for going back! Have you two talked about why your marriage fell apart inthe first place? So as not to make the same mistakes? Not just trying to be aware yourself, but actually been able to talk about the situations? I have a couple family members who remarried the same person twice. Got bit twice but hey, live and learn, right? Now they know and moved on and remained friends in both instances. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fancypants Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 Thank you. My ex is a very kind and gentle guy. We split up because he became a bump on a log and I wanted to do more things with my life. He was really depressed about his job at the time, so that got him down! He is completely different now and I love the new side of him. My parents are supportive of it...I just have problems with my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
krbshappy71 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Well its easy for someone to say "then they aren't your friends" but in this case they are probably are, but just trying to help what they think is a bad situation for you. This does not excuse their behavior if you have asked them to stop. If they are true friends, would it be possible to have a frank discussion with them (individually, probably) that it is upsetting you that they are not more supportive? I know it would irk my friends to sit back and watch what they believe is a mistake but they have had to do it. Friends let friends live and love them in spite of their mistakes. This may not be a mistake for you, hon, but try and keep in mind that's how they are perceiving it. Try to tell them they are hurting you and you would like them to trust you on this one and stop the comments. Unless you are in an abusive situation, they should be able to respect that and purse their lips. In time, if you are making the right decision about your ex, they should see it has turned out well and come around. Hope it goes well for you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Personally, I think it's great that you two are trying again. Sometimes being away from each other makes you realize what you love about that person and it's like falling head over heels all over again. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder". I would suggest though, that instead of seperating over a silly thing like him being a bump on a log and not having any drive in his life, stay by his side and give him more support. Communicate with him more....you become the drive in his life.... As far as your friends, I can see where they are coming from, but why jeapordize your happiness just to save face for your friends? Ask them to be patient, it's going to be awkward enough to even have those friends over now isn't it? They are going to have to accept your decision and if they are true friends, they will stick with you no matter the outcome..... Good Luck Moose Link to post Share on other sites
mrs.sarah Posted June 5, 2004 Share Posted June 5, 2004 As long as the two of you are happy, who cares what other people think. You are in this relationship for yourself, not everyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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