Good guy having a hard time meeting/talking to women

[7kev7]

Hey what's up. As the topic states, I have an incredibly hard time meeting/talking to women I'm attracted to. As this has *been a big problem for me, I'd really *like to get this area of my life *under control.*Where to start lol...

 

A little background info on myself: I'm a 26 year old college educated guy (I have a degree in chemistry), currently holding down a biotech job with aspirations of going to med school. I like to read a lot, play guitar, ride motorcycles, travel, run, etc. As a very hands on person, I like to do things myself (which is probably why I love learning new things and picking up new skills that I can apply). I dont think my looks are part of the problem (not to sound arrogant, in some way or another I find I out that a lot of girls think I'm cute; plus I go to the gym like 4-5 days a week, so I put a lot of effort into my health).*

 

I think I'm a pretty good guy, and I have a lot to offer, but I'm extremely shy (herein *lies one of my massive problems); I just don't know what to say or do. This moreso pertains to women I'm attracted to. If I can get a conversation started (or if she starts it), it usually just ends up going nowhere. I dont know how to build a sort of sexual tension without coming off as a try-hard; so when I ask for the date I usually become visibly nervous (a huge turn off). I think the reason for this was that I was extremely self conscious in high school so I just never developed those basic social skills (I was too busy in college to develop any meaningful relationships). What makes matters worse is I have an extremely high sex drive, which can be a massive distraction when seeing a girl I'm attracted to; DON'T get me wrong I'm NOT that guy in the club who runs around grabbing women inappropriately (I cant stand those guys, and I'm not a big fan of nightclubs). In fact, I'm actually pretty guarded about these sexual feelings until the girl and I hit the bedroom.

 

As a result of this lame combo of *being shy and sexually charged, I've been single for pretty much all of my life. Like, I've NEVER had a girlfriend. Of course, I've been with girls (like only 5), but these were with women that made the moves on me and I just went with the flow because I was attracted to them; predictably, these remained as "friends with benefits" relationships or one night stands, most of which I ended because a lack of personal interest in the girl (I couldn't really connect with them and everything felt kind of empty).

 

Anyways, with this background info, how can I improve my situation? I'm open to suggestions.

[Old Flame]

I accidently meet girls in the supermarket. I just talk to them about food and stuff, without having a thought in my mind about hustling them. I find that women can feel it when you talk to them with something on your mind, and they can sense it when you talk to them without the thought of playing them.

 

I saw a girl in the sore the other day. she was about to buy a few boxes of mac and cheese for 1.29 a box. I saw a display in the corner of the store that had the same thing for 2 for a dollar. I mentioned that to her. She appreciated it. I mentioned that i like hamburger helper - the cheeseburger mix. But mac and cheese with ground buffalo was great too.

 

We had a nice conversation , but i left without making a move because it would have ruined the nice chat.

 

Women really can tell when they are being played, most of them get defensive. I find it best to just talk to them like i was talking to a guy. They relax and feel at ease when you talk to them with no agenda.

[Old Flame]

You're actually more experienced then a lot of the guys who post here.

 

Bottom line you can be a bum who screams "pootypie" randomly and still get yourself some good girls! All you have to do is 1) be yourself and 2) ask out the girls you like 3) make moves on them.

 

Seriously its that easy. Also since you want to go to Medschool that is a good story. Personaly I hate doctors and think they are losers... but a lot of women here a ding ding ding go off in their head when a guy says they are in med school... They hear a really big ding ding ding when the guy says he is a medical doctor. You hear what I'm telling you! You have quite a future.

 

Personaly if I were you I wouldn't become a doctor and instead would persue your true passions what ever they may be... unless your true passion is to make lots of money off sick people then go for it! haha

 

Remember dude its as easy as flirting then asking them out then making moves on that date. You need to fill in the many blanks by being yourself. The real (confident) version of yourself, not some castrated childs program no mind of his own version.

Smelling good and fresh breath also is a big big bonus. Guys forget that ****.

[txalpiner]

You say you've been with 5 women and you're only 26? You poor thing! JK...

 

Have you ever considered just relaxing and getting to know the girls, before deciding to try to get them into bed? You might be surprised how easily conversation flows when you genuinely care about learning what they are all about. Ask questions, and let them talk... that simple. You have a far better chance at developing a long term relationship with them when you use the brain atop your neck as opposed to the one between your legs when communicating your feelings, as well.

 

Good luck out there!