emotional3 Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Ok so here it goes, been really good friends with a guy for 12 years. Dated when we first met then it ended and we both met other people and got married and had children! My marriage ended 3 years ago and after a long haul I got over it and started dating again! Still in close contact with my best friend he has declared his love for me and is in the process of ending his marriage - just waiting for the right time! I love him with all my heart and he does me and we are definately soul mates! I am technically single as we are not together yet and I drunkenly kissed a guy at the weekend but felt so guilty I had to tell my bf I had kissed this guy! He freaked and Said he does not want to be with me as can't trust me now and we were so close to being together I clearly don't love him that much! I hate myself and feel so guilty, I have lost everything I have ever wanted! What do I do? Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 So you were seeing a guy who was still legally married? Always a recipe for success. Sounds like he is very confused regarding his marriage and is grasping onto whatever seems stable. He needs time after his marriage ends to be alone to grieve and emotionally heal before he starts anything with anyone. You dodged a bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Geez, do you blame him? That's pretty crappy boundary issue behavior. The guy is going through a divorce, which is a horribly emotional experience, and now he has to worry about you cheating on him? If you need to go out and sow your wild oates then cut him loose and have at it. I would be upset if I were him too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotional3 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 Thanks for your honest replies! He has not yet told his wife he is leaving so I am still single. I don't know if he will ever leave and yes I made a stupid mistake by kissing a guy but I am not married or in a relationship! Is that not the way I should be looking at it? Should I be sitting in night after night waiting for him and what if it never happens? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Thanks for your honest replies! He has not yet told his wife he is leaving so I am still single. I don't know if he will ever leave and yes I made a stupid mistake by kissing a guy but I am not married or in a relationship! Is that not the way I should be looking at it? Should I be sitting in night after night waiting for him and what if it never happens? So pretty much he is have an affair? Yes you are wasting your time with someone who is not available. He will not be available until the divorce is final and he has fully healed from the end of his past relationship. You did nothing wrong outside of aiding a married man in an affair. Run away, run quickly before you allow yourself to dig yourself into a deeper hole. Link to post Share on other sites
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