tomtheman1234 Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 I am a single male in my 30's and am looking to find Miss Right and settle down. I am still on the look out. Over the last few years I have gone on a few dates with some girls and last year had a girlfriend that did not work out in the end of the day. My sister has now just sent me up with this 40 year old Asian girl who is a freind of a friend of hers. I have know idea what she wll be like so I am not getting over excited. Anyway just before last Christmas I thought I am in need of some Christmas cheer and so I met this girl on this adult dating site. I had to pay but as she was going to do me a cheap deal I thought think of it as an early Christmas present. I would just like to say that I do not normaly do this sort of thing. Any how she was just great and I end up seeing her again as she stayed the night at my flat. Again she did me a really cheap deal. She said that she would like to stay the night agin at my flat as she had so much fun last time. She is also now one of my facebook friends. Now I am sure she is using me. Now I think I have feelings for her and that I might be falling for her. Now I end up think about her to myself sometimes in the week. I wish she was my girlfriend as she rocks. That was not ment to happen and you here about this sort of thing happening all the time and you never think it will happen to you. Now you may ask or think why am I even going there as I have this date with this girl which is a frind of a friend of my sister on Saturday and I should be pleased. I am pleased that I have a proper date on Saturday and cos my sister never dose anything like that for me. I would really just like to askthis girl I have been seeing out on a proper date and have her say yes and have us go and live happy ever after but thats not going to happen and should proberbly cut my losses and see how my date works out on Saturday. I know what ever hapens on my date on Saturday she will just not be as great as the other girl. It dose not mean that I should not try and date her. It is just no one will ever be as hot as this girl. If life was fair we would all be doing this different to how we are now. Life is not all bad. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Do I understand you correctly; you've hooked up with a rent-a-girl a few times & Now you believe she is using you? Do ya think!? It's like people who think their therapists are their friends because you tell them your deepest darkest secrets but at the end of the day you pay us money to make you feel better & I can tell you, being friendly does not mean being your friend especially when your paying someone. Reducing an overpriced commodity & then reducing it to something more reasonable is not really, "cutting you a deal", either. If you want to rent your dates have at it but stop kidding yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomtheman1234 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 (edited) You are right oldguy and maybe my date on Saturday might be the one. Or maybe I just keep seeing this other girl off and on till Miss right comes along. I do not normaly see as you say it rent a girls and my date on Saturday is not a rent a girl. All this girl is doing by charging me a reduced price is we both get to see each other and I get to not spend to much money. Edited February 15, 2012 by tomtheman1234 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 (edited) I am a single male in my 30's ... Miss Right ... ... live happy ever after ... ...maybe my date on Saturday might be the one. I'm left wondering if part of the problem is that you're putting so much emphasis on Grand Romantic Schemes that you're not thinking ahead to what a relationship actually is. All we know about your escort is that she's great fun and hot. You present no other quality that would make her good girlfriend material. Likely, you don't have enough information to establish that now as you've only been on two 'dates'. Again, on Saturday, you're meeting someone for the first time. She could be great, but you certainly won't be able to decide on that night whether or not she's the one and has the qualities you need in order to establish a strong relationship. All that to say, I think you're putting too much pressure on this dating scenario, expecting to miraculously land in a relationship. Relationships are about compatibility. Compatibility is more than 'having fun' together or finding someone attractive. Compatibility is figuring out how you resolve problems with someone. As such, you have way too little information to decide whether girl A or girl B are "the one". I suggest you approach girl A with the idea of a real date (see what she answers and if you still worry that she's using you afterwards - ps: feeling used is a huge red flag that you're not compatible, I don't care how hot she is.) As I was saying: ask girl A out. See what happens. Best case scenario, she agrees and you date as a normal couple (knowing that her job is being a, ah, escort). Mid-case scenario: she's honest with you and tells you your relationship is commodified. Worse case scenario: she agrees but keeps expecting payment - or you keep feeling used. Good luck with that! Also go on the date Saturday. Get to know your sister's friend. Have fun doing what humans do best: socialize! Best case scenario, you'll want to see her again. Mid-case scenario: you'll have met a new friend. Worse case scenario, you'll have nothing in common. How bad is that? Edited February 15, 2012 by Kamille Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomtheman1234 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 Kamilleyou are so right. I do not know if girl A or girl B are right for me as I have not spent enough time with girl A. Girl B I have not yet met and I may not really know what I think about girl B till after the date is over. It normaly takes me 2 or 3 dates to know if a girl is right for me. I never really know that on a first date. I normaly know on a first date if I want to see that girl again or not. Maybe girl A is wrong for me maybe she is right for me. I would like to find out as much as I can about the 2 girls than I will know if girl A or girl B are right for me. There has to be someone out there in the world who is right for me who ever that may be. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 (edited) You are right oldguy and maybe my date on Saturday might be the one. Or maybe I just keep seeing this other girl off and on till Miss right comes along. I do not normaly see as you say it rent a girls and my date on Saturday is not a rent a girl. All this girl is doing by charging me a reduced price is we both get to see each other and I get to not spend to much money. I'm still confused; if you are being, "charged" for a date, that is quite different than paying for a meal or a movie ticket. As for your blind date & every other date in the future, I would suggest you just enjoy the date & the company and see how it goes without such high expectations as finding the love of your life each time. Don't put so much pressure on something as simple as a date. Simply enjoy it & expect to move on, if more happens, it happens. If not you will at least walk away with the memory of a good time. As for continuing to see the cheap deal, (sorry), people here have varying views of a persons past, no need to get into that at the moment but consider this, you meet misses right & she finds out you where seeing a call girl/escort or whatever you choose to call her & misses right is not alright with that. The question is, is it worth it? And thinking that your falling for your pay-date should tell you it's time to abandon that sort of relationship, you literally & figuratively can't afford to fall for an escort. Edited February 15, 2012 by oldguy Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomtheman1234 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 Thanks for all the advice I will keep it a;l in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Are you having sex with the girl who you pay (a reduced fee) to come over to your home? If so, don't over think this, she is a prostitute. While she may be very nice to you and want to come over often, make no mistake, she is only interested in your money. Keep this in mind and don't have unrealistic expectations. Normal dating does not involve a prearranged exchange of cash. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tomtheman1234 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 You are all right and know that I should stop seeing this person. It is not all bad as I have a proper date on Saturday maybe she will be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
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