Question about therapy?

[Joe]

I've started therapy since my nasty break up with my ex gf. Anyway I go once a week for one hour. My question is this. I feel very uncomfortable with my therapist. When we start the session she just sits there and waits for me to start talking. And when I have nothing to say or am kind of stuck she just sits there and smiles until I start talking again. She says about five words throughout the session. Is this normal?? I would rather have someone ask me questions and analyze how I react to these questions. This is my first time to therapy so I'm not sure how it is done.

 

Joe

[Paulie]

I've got a good deal of experience with therapy, so I'll give you my take on it.

THE THERAPIST CAN'T HEAL YOU. Just like a personal trainer can't make you grow muscles, you have to bring something to the table.

 

When I enter my therapist's office, the first thing he says is (after hello, Paulie) is:

 

"so, tell me what's going on."-(his exact words, every time)

 

YOU have to go in there prepared with what's bothering you. The therapist can then respond with her take on the situation.

 

I find it extremely helpful to make a list of the things that are most bothering me (when I'm really hurting, I'll add something to the list)...and refer to this list when I'm in therapy.

 

BE PREPARED!

 

Even the best therapist can't read your mind.

 

Now...Are you hurting??? Yes, right?

 

During those moments write down exactly what's bothering you (ex. -you'll never smell that perfume again...how do you deal with her seeing other guys, etc. )

 

Now get on it, Pal!!!

[Paulie]

Joe, how long did you go out with this chick, and why was the breakup so nasty??

I really DON'T believe that there's necesarily a correlation between how long you went out with her and how much it hurts (a big misconception alot of people have).

 

I was just curious.

 

Paulie