Ashmoore Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Okay where to start, My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We knew eachother in school but that was a while ago so we kinda met back up. We live together and from the very beginning I have caught him in several lies. All of which he talks his way out of. Even when I know the truth he still insist that Im wrong. Okay This Christmas I found out that he sent his x-girlfriend a christmas card which doent seem like a very big deal but thier relationship ended badly she ran him over with a car and beat him up in his sleep, so the way I found out about the card was he left his fb message open and I saw her pic and of course I read the messages and she was thanking him for the card and such, So when i asked him about it he straight up lied even though he knew I saw the messages. I told him that if he was going to contiune to talk to her then I wouldnt be with him because of thier history. He NEVER admited to sending her the card, he NEVER even said he was sorry. I mean it takes alot to go get a card, pay for it, take the time to write in it, and the time to send it. Why would you do that for someone you say you cant stand? Now im worried that they are talking and getting together behind my back, I really do love him but I have no clue what to do?? Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Is he in regular contact with this girl? The fact that he still won't admit to what he did is pretty damn huge. What do you love about someone that lies and purposely deceives you? How old are you guys? How long was he with the ex and how long after that did you two get together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashmoore Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 As far as I know they aren't in regular contact with eachother. I am 25 and he is 26. He just acts like it never happened, he never admited to it but I saw the proof. They were together for 2 years and were broke up a little over a year when we got together. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 so the way I found out about the card was he left his fb message open and I saw her pic and of course I read the messages and she was thanking him for the card and such In my view, it doesn't even matter if he is in regular contact with her or not. He is a LIAR and you know it. How can you stay with someone who openly, baldly, lies to you EVEN when he knows you know the truth? That is a guy who will always be dishonest and a liar. You will have nothing but a lifetime of catching him in lie after lie, and he will never admit any truths. Link to post Share on other sites
kwayne Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Have you discussed his feelings towards her? If they were together for 2 years, there obviously was a huge connection. The fact that he lied is really bad. Did you downright tell him "I found this, you lied and so on" or did you ask him about it? If you just right away accused him, I don't blame him for lying because he already would feel like he's in trouble. However, if you only asked about it and he lied, I would say that's trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashmoore Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 I didnt just come out and accuse him, I simply asked him if he was talking to her and he said no... to which I then told him I saw the messages and knew about it. Either way if he respected me enough he wouldnt be talking to her at all because he knows how I feel about it. And its never okay to lie because weather or not I accused him isnt the question its the fact that he lied even when I told him I had proof. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 It's silly that you question this in regards to whether you're stupid or not...of course you are, you even know it. If you're not stupid then what would you be....hopeful? Everybody plays the fool, that's not my objective here...however after you've played the fool you should have enough respect and sense to move out of the way when someone is crapping all over you. You've got all the evidence you need to prove to him that he's a liar yet you still confront him about it and act like for some reason it might not be true when you have the facts slapping you right in the face. You want him to admit what he's doing, tell you the whole truth then own it and apologize. But the guy a douchebag so why would he do that when you're sitting here with all the facts and buying his bullcrap, do you have any idea how much respect a man loses for you If you're that naive and still putting up with his crap? he has no respect for you, which is why he continues to lie and do things behind your back, and lies are like roaches...where this is one you can bet on a lot more...in fact you probably don't even know the worst of it. This guy is obviously is at a point where things are popping up on FB and he still has the nerve to outright deny them...so he doesn't have to face the consequences and admit guilt....you're kind of enabling this behavior, I mean what else could you possibly need to be convinced? he realizes this in his own head and he realizes that continuing to lie to you may not may you happy but you're essentially stupid enough to stick around...even though he'd never tell you that to your face...probably call you sneaky, possessive, intrusive, a spy, jealous or whatever other excuse that he can come up with that throw the ball back in your face and try to take the focus off of himself. It really makes me wonder the level of dignity a person has for themselves when they allow themselves to made out to be such fools, If not for the respect you have for yourself...at least do it for your future relationship or respect for the people who love you, because all you're going to do is harbor all this emotion and deceit and apply to the next guy that comes into the picture...whether he's a liar or not, you don't realize how much you're damaging your emotions and brain by putting yourself through all of this...and for what? this guy doesn't sound like the guy that's going to be around for you in the end. But at least you have your "love" for him?...even though you'd probably never treat someone the way he does to you that you ever loved. Expecting him to change is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute hoping you can learn to fly before you hit the ground. Way too much drama for 10 mons, think about your future, leave him...this is all bad, all around and if you stay you're deceiving yourself and have you to blame for what you go through because to me he's given you all the signs in the world that he is untrustworthy to say the least. I don't even need to know anymore about this guy, the way he lies says it all. He's a dime a dozen. Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 If you stay with him, he has just learned a valuable lesson: He can knowingly lie to your face and get away with it. Doesn't sound like a good beginning for you. For HIM its great. For you... Link to post Share on other sites
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