Vent. Trying to save my friends ears..

[YupItzMe]

My husband wants a Divorce and moved out it's been 2 1/2 weeks now. (He left me before Thanksgiving but came back). We have lots of issues to deal with. We are both in independent counseling and counseling with a Chaplin once a week indefinitely. Who wants to try and strengthen our marriage and he doesn't advocate divorce.

 

My husband doesn't like putting labels on the counseling, and still wants a Divorce as of today which was also our first counseling session. I want to give it a try and see if we can save our family. He wants to get everything out so we can communicate better. He can't even talk to me more than 5 mins at a time without a 3rd party (the Chaplin) there. He says I'm just to much to deal with. I'm giving him his space and hoping for the best.

 

A little back story..

 

I accused him regularly of touching our daughter. I was molested and forced to give my father Bj's from the age 6 to9. I know I have issues and major trust issues. When I was pregnant and he was deployed to Iraq.. I was under a lot of stress and I suffer from depression. He would call home I would sometimes say I would take our baby and not let him see her. Later I find out it caused a lot of damage. Today he cried and told me how the things I did have broken him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how sorry I am.

 

He is very angry at me and under a lot of stress at work which is one of the reasons he said he left. He's just not the same person I have always known. He's depressed and all over the place about life. Spending money on fast food daily. Which is very irresponsible for him, he's very good with his money. Going to movies and paying full price. Not like him at all. This weekend he's going on a trip with a group of soldiers. I always tried to get him to get out but he never wanted to, but now he does?

He see's our daughter but he's not as hands on since he left 2 weeks ago. What happened to my husband? He takes her to school and drops her off to me. Then he see's her on Saturday

 

I'm pregnant now found out a week after he left and he wants nothing to do with the baby. (so out of character for this man he adores his daughter) He would like me to get a abortion, I said no. He says he will provide for the baby when it's born, but he just can't deal with the pregnancy because of what I put him through in the past with our daughter. Not the type to leave his pregnant wife high and dry. (he pays all our bills and gives me money to live)

He has made his own bank account and so have I. We share a joint. He has talked to a lawyer on the phone and I have gone to see mine. He's taken off his rings and says he doesn't feel comfortable in the house we set up together. So he won't come over and give baths and dinner and story to our daughter anymore. He's erratic and all over the place about things he flip flops and goes back and forth. He's having some sort of breakdown and it scares me.

 

Today he said he wants to grow his high and tight out since he works in a hospital setting for the time being. He will hardly talk to me he has become nicer. When he first left he was just down right mean and hurtful when he saw me. I guess that has to do with the fact that he was doing the job of 3 people at work. Now his other solider came back from being on r&r for a month. So he has help now.

 

This is a sweet man and I have done a lot of damage to the point he doesn't love me anymore and says he just wants to be happy. I don't want to lose him but he just seems done with me and he says when he looks at me he see's the accusations I have made about our daughter and as of today he wants a divorce, but who know things might change in counseling. His words..

 

just venting.. Thanks for listening. K

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Edited February 17, 2012 by YupItzMe

[coopster]

"I accused him regularly of touching our daughter."

 

And you wonder why he`s backed off?

 

And now your pregnant again???

 

Vent away.

 

grrrr...ppl like you make me sooo angry

Edited February 18, 2012 by coopster