Boyfriend Not Considering My Feelings About His Flirting

[meagara]

I have to attend my boyfriends staff party tonight. He is a janitor at a elementary school where there are all woman. He flirts with these woman and make jokes or as he say he "goofs" on these woman.He once told a woman "jokingly" cause she was a bigger woman who had self-esteem issues, that if he wasn't with me he would have sex with her".

 

He told me the other day, well actually he asked me if I wanted to go on my birthday this Tuesday passed. He said this" If you come with me can you please not get upset, jealous, angry, hurt, or leave. There will be drinking there and we will be "goofing" around with each other. So, if you plan on leaving I just want to tell you don't expect me to leave with you." Isn't that absolutely rude? It hurt that he would say something like that to me. . I can't take his constant flirting with these woman, or as he would say goofing. He knows that it bothers me, and when I tell him again he tells me that I am just acting like all the other janitors wives (jealous, angry). Personally, I believe that these wives have a right to be upset. My boyfriend tells me that they(the other janitors) say they want to **** this teacher or that one, and go down on her. What would make me think that he doesn't say these things, or at least he says these things and says someone else did. Also, each janitor has "their" teacher who they have a crush on. I asked him who his was and he got all upset.

 

Regardless, how many times I tell him it hurts me , it always end up being my fault. I am too jealous, I look to far into things. I know my boyfriend and I know how he acts. It is just hurting me inside and I can't keep letting it hurt me.

 

He used to talk about all the great pranks he used to pull on them, ever since I started getting upset, for good reasons which i will explain, he doesn't tell me about them. He used to talk about this one teacher all the time, but now he doesn't.

 

We have gotten into this argument so much I am just tired of it, how can I get it through his thick head that this really bothers me.

[dudesomewhere]

your last statement and quote:

 

"We have gotten into this argument so much I am just tired of it, how can I get it through his thick head that this really bothers me."

 

I look at that and all you've said and can't help wondering if you don't have a thick head. I'm sorry if that sounds mean but that's not my intention. You gave so many reasons anyone would leave the guy. Besides the flirting, that's one scummy guy...unless you like scummy guys, than eh.

 

man...bunch of creepy guys hanging out together and the women who love them...next springer

 

hehe

[Pyrannaste]

how can I get it through his thick head that this really bothers me.

 

You can't unless he wants to get it through his head, too.

 

He told me the other day, well actually he asked me if I wanted to go on my birthday this Tuesday passed. He said this" If you come with me can you please not get upset, jealous, angry, hurt, or leave. There will be drinking there and we will be "goofing" around with each other. So, if you plan on leaving I just want to tell you don't expect me to leave with you." Isn't that absolutely rude? It hurt that he would say something like that to me.

 

He'd have a point if your jealousy were immotivated.

I suggest you go with him anyway. You'd end up feeling bad all evening wondering what he is doing otherwise.

If you don't like the way he acts there, and you find it inappropriate, consider breaking up with him.

 

His flirting could very well be harmless in his intentions, it probably is, but *even if he is just joking*, he *should* take your feelings into account.

[FreeMe]

I agree with dudesomewhere - I don't even see how you stay with this guy. It doesn't seem like disregarding your feelings is anything new. From what I remember of your other posts, he's done it before, plus cheated on you. He doesn't deserve your time or effort.