Welp, I've apparently given up

[Exit]

Take me for example.....

 

Great post. So much of what you said is very true. Good info, gave me a lot to think about.

 

 

And my life up to this point has been entirely about furthering my career, and without my career my life literally has no purpose. And THAT is scary.

 

Yeah that does sound like an unpleasant situation. At the rate you're already going I can't imagine you'll be happy when it comes time to step up your work load to try to make partner. Then again, if other areas of your life seem lacking to you, at least having the demanding job gives you something to focus on. Advance your career and start making even bigger bucks and you'll eventually come across someone you want to share your life with. I get what you're saying that money doesn't buy happiness. I'm struggling with money right now but I know I could have have a ton and I would still be unhappy about other things in my life. You wouldn't be the first person in the world to end up making an unexpected change in careers if you really think you'll be unhappy continuing down this road. Are there any other careers you think you'd enjoy? Make sure to put money aside that way when the day comes if you feel like you want to walk away and learn another skill you'll be able to support yourself.

Edited March 14, 2012 by Exit

[Red Arremer]

You wouldn't be the first person in the world to end up making an unexpected change in careers if you really think you'll be unhappy continuing down this road. Are there any other careers you think you'd enjoy? Make sure to put money aside that way when the day comes if you feel like you want to walk away and learn another skill you'll be able to support yourself.

I wish, man. As it is right now I feel like I've pretty much pigeonholed myself into this field, I don't really have any other marketable skills to speak of. And unfortunately for someone like me it's not something you can fix simply by being like "well, what do you like to do, try to find a job doing that," because... I don't really like to do anything, except for maybe video games (and I'm not sure if that's even something I like to do so much as it's a phenomenal time killer), and good f*cking luck breaking into that field without connections out the wazoo.

 

I wish I could just quit my job and sort it all out then, but this is America, where if you don't have a steady income coming in you may as well be dead.

[Exit]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. People ask me what I'd like to do with my life and I kinda have the same answer, I can't say I "like" anything to the point when it comes to doing it for 8 hours a day. I tried that once, and that's how I ended up stuck in a rut. I did the whole "turn something you like into a career and it won't even feel like work!". Okay, I spent so much of my time on my driveway tearing my car apart, so straight from high school I went to automotive school. Worked my butt off, graduated 2nd in my class, got a job at a dealership, and quickly found out that working on a muscle car on your own driveway with the radio playing and taking a break whenever you feel like it does not translate well to having 5 different service writers cramming repair orders down your throat, telling customers that their car will be ready in 45 minutes when you have 6 hours of work lined up before them, trying to diagnose tiny little squeaks and rattles for customers who are driving a twenty year old pile of garbage, etc. I was miserable.

 

Well, since you feel kinda stuck with your career, then the best I can make of the situation is what I said before, if you don't feel like you have a lot else going on in your life right now, at least the work will take up a lot of your time and maybe distract you. I know that's not much of a positive spin to put on it.

[Red Arremer]

So, I went to a small local anime convention this weekend. I'm not super into anime, but a bunch of my friends are (these friends are all much younger than me, this will become relevant later), and hey, nerdy stuff is nerdy stuff right?, so I went.

 

Good grief, man, I was easily one of the oldest few people at this thing. I'd say at least 90% of the people in attendance were under 25, and at least half of the people were under 21. The few people there that were older it seemed like were there because they were established in the field and presenting something. I felt like such a creeper walking around the place with all these "kids" around.

 

Which made me even more sad than usual, because this sort of experience just drives home the point that it's hard enough to find quality friends/lovers as you get older, even without having an odd set of interests working against you. I can only hope the next generation will have it easier than I did as this sort of thing becomes more acceptable in the mainstream. :\

[Red Arremer]

So, remember how I swore up and down that I wasn't suicidal? Yeah, about that...

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm too much of a wimp to ever go through with it, but the thought that nothing will ever get better and that the world would be better off without me have certainly been on my mind lately.

[Red Arremer]

Not having anyone to talk to ever aside from the 12 people that read this forum really sucks too. It would really be nice to have friends, or family that gave a f*ck, or well anything really.

[Exit]

Sorry you're not feeling so great. I'm pretty much still in my same rut as well.

 

Good friends aren't exactly in abundant supply for me either right now. The couple that I do have are all flakes, always talking about making plans and never sticking to them, not answering text messages, etc. Ironically I had one or two invites from people to do something in the past week, and then I'm the one who ends up not going because it seems like it's not my type of activity or I wouldn't fit in.

 

I wouldn't say I'm genuinely suicidal either but I can't lie, the thoughts do happen, feeling like this life is too much of a failure to ever get it pointed in the right direction again. I keep going just for the bare minimum, not wanting to hurt the few people who might care about me.

 

I dunno what to say. I wish I had an idea for both of us.

 

4am Friday morning. The high point of my day is that I have something scheduled to arrive from UPS and there are a few TV shows I watch on Friday nights. Yippee.

[Red Arremer]

Yeah, I mean I guess suicidal isn't the right word, but there are times (especially lately) where I honestly just don't care about living or dying.

 

Which you think would actually help, because if I don't fear death surely nothing else could get me down either right?, but... yeah, it kinda doesn't work that way. I don't fear death because I feel like my life is worthless, and if I feel like my life is worthless why would anyone else think otherwise? That's sort of where I'm coming from at the moment.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Hey OP. I am in the same place as you, or was. My life was very much the same. Then one day, spontaneously, I booked myself on a flight to volunteer for three months in a foreign country. I felt terrified, alive and invigorated all in one. I'm not suggesting you do something so drastic, but you have to do something.

 

I'd also recommend 3 boring truths:

1) good diet

2) good sleep

3) lots of exercise

 

These three things are shouted out all the time, but they are so true. I think you need to connect with what you really want in life, what do you feel is missing, where would you ideally like to be...

 

The exercise will help bring motivation, I promise.

[Red Arremer]

Well, this week so far has at least been better in that I've decided I care about dying again.

 

Although I'm not 100% sure that actually makes this week "better" or not...

[Red Arremer]

Well, this week so far has at least been better in that I've decided I care about dying again.

If that was the metric by which I decide whether one week is better than the next, I guess this week isn't getting off to a very good start!!

[PlumPrincess]

If you're bored with your life, you might want to try to add a bit more of spontaneity to it. When I was younger I often did things on a whim and just let them unfold. Sometimes I persisted and sometimes I decided it just wasn't something that I liked that much and sometimes things just fizzled out, because I didn't have time or money at that moment. For example, I would read what kind of sports activity they offer and my university and subscribed to a sailing course. It was fun, but I just didn't have the time to continue with the next course. Or I would walk past a stand, stop because something caught my interest, get information and maybe subscribe later to it.

 

On my list currently is:

- get training so I can get into the field that I want

- join a singing group or get voice training

- get fitter

 

Other stuff that has been on my list for a while that I can remember off the top of my head:

- improve one of the languages that I speak

- learn how to do the crawl

- zumba

- tango

- debating club

 

Somewhere I read that one of the rules of improv theater is to always say yes when the other actor offers something and that it is something that you can also apply in your own life. When someone suggests something to you, say yes. Whatever it is, if you have never done it before, do it at least once.