Author Bailey14 Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 I'm glad... sent you a private message, and I hope that the other users on here don't mind me speaking for them ( feel free to give me a "virtual kick in the butt if I am)...but I think a lot of us have come to care quite a bit for you, and we are happy to be here for you when you need us... I cannot express how deeply touched I am by this world of complete strangers. I find myself wishing that I could give all of you a great big hug. My biggest concern now is becoming a burden to all the folks in my life. Forgive me in advance should I do this. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I cannot express how deeply touched I am by this world of complete strangers. I find myself wishing that I could give all of you a great big hug. My biggest concern now is becoming a burden to all the folks in my life. Forgive me in advance should I do this. i don't think you are a "burden"...you are someone who's hurting and who needs help it sounds like you are someone who is always there for the people in your life when they need you...now you need to let them be there for you when you need them...if you are the person i think you are, they will be happy to do it it's okay to ask for help:) hope today is going well for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bailey14 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 I continue to put one foot in front of the other! Much to my chagrin, the filter between my brain and my mouth is thinning out. Yesterday one of my (extremely self-centered) co- workers made the observation that I was looking very sad. And I said "Yea, ain't it something? My sister is still dying from cancer and I am still sad about it. Imagine that!!" What an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I continue to put one foot in front of the other! Much to my chagrin, the filter between my brain and my mouth is thinning out. Yesterday one of my (extremely self-centered) co- workers made the observation that I was looking very sad. And I said "Yea, ain't it something? My sister is still dying from cancer and I am still sad about it. Imagine that!!" What an idiot. Hi Bailey!!!! Putting one foot in front of the other is what it is all about...And all that is asked of you! Don't you just love people who talk before they THINK!!!! Case in point: When I meet someone and I tell them I have lost a child, and they say "Oh I know how you feel" and then I say...Oh my, " have you lost a child also"...they say "No"...Then I respond..THEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL OR WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!! That usually shuts them right up.... Hang in there B....You are doing absolutely FANTASTIC!! Isn't the mm just a thing of the past right now???? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bailey14 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 The co-worker in question is the type who always has a more tragic story to tell about her struggles when someone shares a sad story.......always wants to "one-up" you. She is clueless. And imagine someone saying they know how you feel??? I have never had children but, even I know that the loss of a child is the single most devastating event in a person's life. I would never presume to know what it is like. Re: MM......I told him 2 weeks ago about my sister's diagnosis......he has completely abandoned me. He disappeared for 9 days so I emailed him and his response was to reprimand me for emailing him.......I would like to say I am angry. What I am is sad beyond words. I had no idea what a cruel human being he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 The co-worker in question is the type who always has a more tragic story to tell about her struggles when someone shares a sad story.......always wants to "one-up" you. She is clueless. And imagine someone saying they know how you feel??? I have never had children but, even I know that the loss of a child is the single most devastating event in a person's life. I would never presume to know what it is like. Re: MM......I told him 2 weeks ago about my sister's diagnosis......he has completely abandoned me. He disappeared for 9 days so I emailed him and his response was to reprimand me for emailing him.......I would like to say I am angry. What I am is sad beyond words. I had no idea what a cruel human being he is. Oh Miss Bailey...I have those "One-Uppers" in my life too..Can't stand them...I immediately shut down when someone is doing that to me. Then I walk away...Can't handle that. As far as your XMM...to hell with him!!!!!!!...He was reprimanding you for e-mailing him? Oh WHAT AN ASSAHAT!!!! Cruel....is too kind of a word for that Narcissistic Creep.... Move on and upwards my friend......You and your sisters are MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! Love and Hugs....... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 I've never been on this forum before so don't really know where to begin but basically want some advice from individuals with Bipolar Syndrome who could maybe shed some light on some of my symptoms and maybe offer constructive advice. I am a female in my early 30s and have a mother who is bipolar and was only diagnosed in her 50s after being down as depressed for 20 years prior to that. I recently had a breakdown at work where sheer exhaustion after feeling I could do anything and everything basically tookover and I snapped at my managers as I decided at the time that was the right thing to do. I have, since I was in my twenties, fluctuated from being as high as a kite to being pretty low and then back to somewhere in the middle and then the cycle continues. Whilst I'm as high as a kite I make rash decisions and obsess over numerous projects that have to be done there and then with the most recent being painting my hallway, sons bedroom and bathroom at silly hours and then being unable to sleep as I obsess over it and decide what the next project will be after that. Unfortunately not all my rash decisions have been as innocent as just painting walls and I previously in my early 20s found myself using drugs, alcohol and have lost many friends, jobs and upset many family members as I have seen them as being in my way and when I come down I realise what I have done and feel ashamed and cannot believe I would be so nasty and selfish and then I feel like i'm the worst person in the world and want to hide away. I am meeting with my GP on wednesday to discuss this matter further as they've checked my bloods for other. sorry you are going through such a rough time:(...it sounds like it's been very difficult for you i have nothing useful to offer about bi-polar disorder, while my daughter seems to have depression, it is a different situation. I wish I could be of more help...there is a thread on this forum that deals with health issues...perhaps someone in that forum could be really helpful to you best of luck, and I hope your doctors are able to help you through al:)l this Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 hi bailey... just checking in... how are things today? Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 emarolling... here is the thread I was stalking about... hope that someone there will be able to offer you some helpful advice... Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being - LoveShack.org Community Forums best of luck to you, and I hope things get better for you soon:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Hi Bailey. Hugs to you! Sorry to hear things are tough for you... The only thing I can ever think is that when things are really bad - it only means I will be more grateful when it gets easier. And the MM - what a selfish jerk. When you some day find a man who thinks of you and your feelings first... You will wonder why you ever wasted any time or energy on this self centered jerk. It sure would've been nice if you had a companion who is available and supportive in your time of need... I think it's clear he's not THAT guy. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartShineGirl Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I have searched a number of forums to find someone who has experienced something similar to mine. The MM I am involved with is someone I have known since we were 12 years old. We became FWB when we were 16 years old but, I eventually fell in love with him. We graduated from high school, went off to different universities and married our college sweethearts. My marriage didn't last......his did. Fast forward 40 years to our high school class reunion in 2009. We were drawn to each other and thus began the prelude to our affair. Between August of 2009 and August of 2010 we saw each other a few times for lunch and dinner and then in September of 2010 the affair began. We have been together since then. We did not intend for this to happen but, we have fallen in love with each other. Why won't he leave his marriage??? Get ready for this.......he is devout Catholic and will not end his marriage. And he still loves his wife. We see each other once a month(we live in different cities)and although the time we spend together is magical, every time I am with him I go through a week of depression and tears. And he goes through debilitating remorse and guilt. We continue the relationship though because we love each other. Does the roller coaster of emotions ever stop???? The MM I have been seeing.... also is a Catholic, and a Pacific Islander with old fashioned values... of "staying in a long term marriage" But, he has finally realized that life is sometimes worth living and staying in an unhappy marriage is not healthy. In your MM's case, he's happily married- loves and cares for his wife and family (if he has kids, pets, etc) but loves what you are bringing to the table for him "romance" I am guessing. It is hard on these men ... part of them wants romance like any other man, but other men get divorced, but these men, the Catholic, old fashioned types who believe in caring for a spouse til the end, have a very hard time with religious beliefs, responsibilities and emotions more so than other men. And, I believe men that have affairs do so because they are not 100% completely happy with their marriages... they're missing adventure or romance or something (Who knows what). I don't know what to say... but if he says he wont leave her, and he loves you two... then he's one of those men that break the rules.... (I do not judge-I promise) I come from a completely different perspective. I am not Catholic, but I am spiritual. I also believe that marriage and religion are very much socially constructed and all the rules that people in our societies live by are kind of unnatural, but that's just me. I mean, what do I know but my own belief system. I have a lot of friends who are more like 'free spirits' they have marriages, they cheat... they don't care.. the spouses find out and don't mind too much and forgive... and I guess you could say that might sound like a Jerry Springer type episode but I'm talking people with 6 figure Incomes, people with Ph.D's, and people who do holistic work and healing and who come from a very different perspective on what this life is all about and what love is... and I'm not talking creepy weird stuff either, I'm talking loving, caring, understanding, forgiving, mature adults that aren't bad people. I've grown up having many loving influences of many different people, with different religious backgrounds and have found my own spirituality and beliefs. I see humans as genuinely good and loving and when a man cheats on his wife (no matter how horrific bad that is- if we were the wife here we'd be just as livid I am sure) it is an action which can be understood, forgiven, and thought about as really not so unnatural, and I myself think the best thing we can do is try to live by our own rules, what we believe is good/right. What does he want to do with his life? Is it in line with what you want to do? Can this be worked out? Is it wrong? Is it wrong to you? To him? To Society (of course it is) but what about all the other people he will hurt or you will hurt.. we have to consider it all... and weigh it and contemplate it. If she loves him and he loves her and he loves you and you love him, and she finds out what then? Oh, I know this scenario all too well as well.... But, in the case I know, the wife of that particular situation (like yours) knew there was love between the other two and only said "Just don't leave me... " and he didn't.... and that was that. I dunno about your situation but I hope if he says he is not leaving her that you realize that this is going to hurt you so much, unless you can be okay with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartShineGirl Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 The co-worker in question is the type who always has a more tragic story to tell about her struggles when someone shares a sad story.......always wants to "one-up" you. She is clueless. And imagine someone saying they know how you feel??? I have never had children but, even I know that the loss of a child is the single most devastating event in a person's life. I would never presume to know what it is like. Re: MM......I told him 2 weeks ago about my sister's diagnosis......he has completely abandoned me. He disappeared for 9 days so I emailed him and his response was to reprimand me for emailing him.......I would like to say I am angry. What I am is sad beyond words. I had no idea what a cruel human being he is. Hi, I'm sorry to hear all of this with your sister... I just now finished reading all of the posts.. but I had earlier responded before getting to the stuff with your sister.... and with him abandoning you and reprimanding you for emailing him.. I am just now finished reading all the posts... Oh I feel so bad for you.... hurting for your sister, and to top it off his cruelness. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. I'm glad the others are here for you.... Bless you. Heart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bailey14 Posted April 2, 2012 Author Share Posted April 2, 2012 My sister's blood tests indicate that the chemotherapy did no good. She has only weeks to live. Oh my God, my heart is in a million little pieces. Please, please, please pray for her soul. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. So sorry to hear the bad news. May you find strength during this most difficult time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 My sister's blood tests indicate that the chemotherapy did no good. She has only weeks to live. Oh my God, my heart is in a million little pieces. Please, please, please pray for her soul. My heart hurts for you Bailey..I'm so sorry.. Thoughts and prayers to you all. God bless her soul. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Irish Blessing Author Unknown Bailey, May you see God's light on the path ahead When the road you walk is dark. May you always hear, Even in your hour of sorrow, The gentle singing of the lark. When times are hard may hardness Never turn your heart to stone, May you always remember When the shadows fall- You do not walk alone. To your sister - may a peace and a joy fill her may she feel His loving arms around her spreading out to encircle the family. I pray 6 Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Hi Bailey... I know it's hard right now, but please try and look after yourself too...you need to if you are going to be able to be there for your sisters. I am so sorry you are going through all this... I know it's been really hard for you...I know that there's nothing I can say that will take the hurt away, but I do want you to know that I ( and others on here) are thinking of you and we are here for you if and when you need us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 My sister's blood tests indicate that the chemotherapy did no good. She has only weeks to live. Oh my God, my heart is in a million little pieces. Please, please, please pray for her soul. Oh My Bailey!!!! Ok Ok just take a deep breath! Oh I don't even know what to say to you! Hang in there, I will say more prayers for you and your sis today! Pray to the merciful Lord, He will be with you and your sisters! One thing I did learn from the death of my son..."DEATH IS A PART OF LIFE"! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bailey14 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 To all you beautiful people......thank you. My brother, who lives out west, will be coming east to spend a few days with us. He is in the medical profession so we are hoping he can help M see the value of moving to the hospice facility. She fell asleep last night sobbing, saying how scared she is. My heart is so heavy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 To all you beautiful people......thank you. My brother, who lives out west, will be coming east to spend a few days with us. He is in the medical profession so we are hoping he can help M see the value of moving to the hospice facility. She fell asleep last night sobbing, saying how scared she is. My heart is so heavy. Bailey....a short story to maybe make your sister feel a little better and you too! Dear friend of mine...she lost her H to cancer he was 54...She was with him till the end in the hospital. She said to me "I am not afraid to die, it was the most peaceful thing she ever witnessed"! yes he was medicated, but when he drew his last breath it was not scary! And we don't know what is on the other side... God says, Welcome to my Kingdom for here there is no sickness. Hospice facilities are wonderful! They know what they are doing! Such wonderful people in the face of death. So glad your bro is on his way! Are you taking care of yourself? Eat something healthy today...Maybe a salad with some veggies in it! And a piece of bread...will give you some stamina..... Coffee was and still is my COMFORT FOOD! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bailey14 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 I am taking care of myself. Eating well, getting plenty of rest, spending time with my best buds. My therapy has always been to accomplish things so today I have a long list of errands I have to run after work and then I will go home, feed my dog, put my nightgown on and then just be still. At 9:00pm I will be tuning in to the beautiful people on "Dancing With The Stars." My heart will bleed through it all but, I will be productive!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I am taking care of myself. Eating well, getting plenty of rest, spending time with my best buds. My therapy has always been to accomplish things so today I have a long list of errands I have to run after work and then I will go home, feed my dog, put my nightgown on and then just be still. At 9:00pm I will be tuning in to the beautiful people on "Dancing With The Stars." My heart will bleed through it all but, I will be productive!!! Above all else, be kind to yourself. Speaking of Dancing With The Stars, have you noticed the football players butt? Oh no I haven't either! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I am taking care of myself. Eating well, getting plenty of rest, spending time with my best buds. My therapy has always been to accomplish things so today I have a long list of errands I have to run after work and then I will go home, feed my dog, put my nightgown on and then just be still. At 9:00pm I will be tuning in to the beautiful people on "Dancing With The Stars." My heart will bleed through it all but, I will be productive!!! Oh love love Dancing with the Stars!! How about that William Levy? Damm he is "FINE"!!!!!!! I also like Sherri Shepard and Gladys Knight! It is such a good lineup this year...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I am taking care of myself. Eating well, getting plenty of rest, spending time with my best buds. My therapy has always been to accomplish things so today I have a long list of errands I have to run after work and then I will go home, feed my dog, put my nightgown on and then just be still. At 9:00pm I will be tuning in to the beautiful people on "Dancing With The Stars." My heart will bleed through it all but, I will be productive!!! I'm so glad that you are looking after yourself too. Enjoy the TV show, and cuddle up with your dog. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 hi bailey.... just checking to see how you are today.... Link to post Share on other sites
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