cooling off periods

[CJ]

My boyfriend wants a cooling off period of 30 days to see if I still love him after that. He wants no e-mails or calls during this time. Is this just a way of saying goodbye or a test?

[Robert]

If it is a test, you want no part of it and neither should he.

 

Love makes no such demands. My guess is that both of you use affection as a method and not as an expression. If your affection, if your way of showing whats in your heart, is sincere then there is no reason for a test. If fact - its an insult to your integrity.

[Tony T]

If you had a good, loving, satisfying relationship, there is no way your boyfriend would want a cooling off period, unless he had some kind of fever. He has insulted you, the relationship, and your intelligence by this request.

 

Sounds to me like he's needing time to see if there's someone else out there he'd like to be with more. You just don't take vacations from a good thing.

 

If he cared about you even a tiny bit, he would certainly want to get an occasional Email or call from you to be sure you were OK. What a dork!!!

 

I have always felt this need space thing was a bunch of crap. It is counter to everything in nature to want to be away from a good thing. That's why there are so many fat people, because despite spending BILLIONS of dollars a year on diet programs, they just can't stay away from delicious food.

 

Dump him and find a guy who doesn't need cooling off periods from you. You deserve that. Tell this guy to stick his cooling off period in his ear!!!

[Deejette]

The whole "needing space," "cooling off" routine is a coward's way of breaking up. That is the "nice," supposedly unhurtful way of saying, "I want out, I want to date other people, I am not committed to this relationship."

 

It will not be a good thing for you to wait around for him to decide when he is ready to come back into your life. When he does come back in, it may be because he has been rejected by some other women and knows that you will be there for him, because, obviously, you cared more about the relationship than he did.

 

I know this hurts, but he sounds callous, and unfeeling, and down the road you would be treated to even more of his insensitivity. So it is better that you have discovered it now, as painful as it is. I mean, after not talking to you for a month, is he just going to pop back into your life and everything will be the same?

If you had a good, loving, satisfying relationship, there is no way your boyfriend would want a cooling off period, unless he had some kind of fever. He has insulted you, the relationship, and your intelligence by this request. Sounds to me like he's needing time to see if there's someone else out there he'd like to be with more. You just don't take vacations from a good thing. If he cared about you even a tiny bit, he would certainly want to get an occasional Email or call from you to be sure you were OK. What a dork!!! I have always felt this need space thing was a bunch of crap. It is counter to everything in nature to want to be away from a good thing. That's why there are so many fat people, because despite spending BILLIONS of dollars a year on diet programs, they just can't stay away from delicious food. Dump him and find a guy who doesn't need cooling off periods from you. You deserve that. Tell this guy to stick his cooling off period in his ear!!!

[CJ]

My boyfriend wants a cooling off period of 30 days to see if I still love him after that. He wants no e-mails or calls during this time. Is this just a way of saying goodbye or a test? I thought I would let everyone know that I dumped him.