Men: Do you like hanging out with your wife?

[maybealone]

My husband currently travels a lot for work, so we don't see each other much. When I mention this to people, especially men, I often get a comment like, "I wish I had a marriage like that!" I know a lot of men like to joke around about not wanting to be with their wives, but the comments still make me curious.

 

So men, do you prefer hanging out with your wife to spending time with friends or working more? Do you do things like shopping, working around the house, going to kids' practices/games together or separately? Whether you do or don't, do you think it's related to how happy/not happy/indifferent your are with your marriage?

 

I know a few couples that have been married for 20+ years and still can't wait to get home from work to see their spouses, but I can't help but wonder how common that is.

[wezol]

I'm not married anymore, but it all depends on the situation.

 

I spent a lot of time away from home, a year at a time, and when I was home I was working 50-60 hrs a week and a full time student, so I enjoyed the time we actually did get to spend together and we would make the best of it.

 

Then came the time when she started nagging, acting insecure, and blamed it on me being gone all the time. When that started, I enjoyed it less.

 

If I'm with a woman that isn't a buzz kill, so to speak, then I'd enjoy spending time with her. You do have to have "your" time away though, doing whatever.

 

There are too many variables in that question. Over all though, I did enjoy being home and spending time with my exW.

[xxoo]

My husband currently travels a lot for work, so we don't see each other much. When I mention this to people, especially men, I often get a comment like, "I wish I had a marriage like that!" I know a lot of men like to joke around about not wanting to be with their wives, but the comments still make me curious.

 

Whenever I hear a "joke" like that, I assume they aren't getting much sex.

 

I can't see a man who is getting regular sex at home preferring to go without for large chunks of time....

[standtall]

 

So men, do you prefer hanging out with your wife to spending time with friends or working more? Do you do things like shopping, working around the house, going to kids' practices/games together or separately? Whether you do or don't, do you think it's related to how happy/not happy/indifferent your are with your marriage?

 

 

Wife, together, indifferent.

[Ursa]

Well, I'm not a man, but I am married. My husband likes going out with his friends, sure, but he hangs out with me more than he does with them, and he frequently invites me to go along with them, or invites them over to our house so they're visiting our whole family.

 

He works long hours, but we spend the majority of our free time together. We're usually in contact off and on throughout the day, via IM or text, and we go to the gym and work out together side by side. We try to go to all our kids' functions together, although sometimes we have to split up because the middle-schooler and the pre-schooler have such different schedules. We also often run errands together. We try to have at least two date nights per month with no kids, and go away for a weekend together every couple months. And whenever he goes on business trips, he calls me every day. He tells me I'm his best friend and I feel the same about him. We make each other laugh, even when we're out running boring errands.

 

We do each have one night per week that we do our own thing, I take a music class and he hangs out with a couple guy friends and works on a hobby. He does sometimes go out with his buddies without me, and vice versa...everybody needs some away time.

 

If I knew a guy who always joked about wishing he could spend more time away from his wife, I would assume it was just that, a joke. I think it's tacky, but it's acceptable in subsets of this culture to disparage marriage and your wife, and it doesn't necessarily carry weight, just makes the joker feel like a big man. If I thought it did carry significant weight, I would feel sorry for both husband and wife and assume they had some problems.

Edited February 21, 2012 by Ursa

[Lauriebell82]

I'm not a man but I am married also. My husband spends more time with me then his friends, but he does like to hang out with them sometimes. He also likes to play video games and spend time alone in his office (at home). He works normal business hours at his place of employment. We spend time together watching tv or movies, going out to eat, looking at baby stuff. We also both like to work out. We have a lot of the same interests, which makes spending time together more fun. I know my husband feels the same way.

 

I think it's a direct result in being happy in our marriage..plus having a lot in common and similar interests.

[SoMovinOn]

I can't fathom why I'd want to marry someone, and not have them be #1 in my life, including wanting to be with them as often as possible.

[Radagast]

My husband currently travels a lot for work, so we don't see each other much. When I mention this to people, especially men, I often get a comment like, "I wish I had a marriage like that!" I know a lot of men like to joke around about not wanting to be with their wives, but the comments still make me curious.

 

So men, do you prefer hanging out with your wife to spending time with friends or working more? Do you do things like shopping, working around the house, going to kids' practices/games together or separately? Whether you do or don't, do you think it's related to how happy/not happy/indifferent your are with your marriage?

 

I know a few couples that have been married for 20+ years and still can't wait to get home from work to see their spouses, but I can't help but wonder how common that is.

 

My exWife and I lived very separate lives, by her choice. Although initially I would have enjoyed to spend more time with her, over time our lives diverged so much that we had little in common. Spending time with her would have involved attending choral recitals, which bore me, or knitting circles, where men are not welcome. She also made it clear that the one contribution I could make towards her happiness was financial, so I spent most evenings working and travelled a good deal. I guess over time I became indifferent toward the marriage.

 

Things are very different with my current wife. We were brought together through shared interests and we continue to spend as much time as we can together, working or playing. My work does still involve a fair bit of travel, although I have cut down, but now I only accept travel if I can take my wife along. We are very happily married.

[make me believe]

Well, I'm not a man, but I am married. My husband likes going out with his friends, sure, but he hangs out with me more than he does with them, and he frequently invites me to go along with them, or invites them over to our house so they're visiting our whole family.

 

This is how it is with me & my husband. We spend a lot of our free time together, and most of the time if one of us is doing something with friends we invite the other along, or have the friends over to our place. Twice a week he has band practice, but one of those nights I'm in school so we wouldn't be seeing each other anyway. So I'd say we do stuff separately with friends about once a week.

 

OP, I think sometimes men don't want to hang out with their wives because the wives turn "spending time together" into doing chores, running errands, playdates with the kids, etc. Sometimes, especially after they have kids, I think women forget that they still need one on one time with their husband that DOESN'T include regular day to day family stuff. Date night, dinner out, sex, adult conversation, a shared hobby... that kind of stuff is probably what guys want when they think about hanging out with their wives. Going to the kids baseball game or cleaning the bathroom is important of course, but it isn't really one on one couple time.

[musemaj11]

This is a common sense question. If you enjoyed your spouse's company, you would want to spend as much time as possible with her.

[HHC]

Early on in our relationship my husband needed his space. We would spend the weekend together and come Sunday afternoon he needed to go back to his place and have him time. I never understood it and I got offended a lot by it. But he just needed down time, and I never have.

 

We have been together over 10 years now and I am his top pick of people to hang out with and most weekends we spend it together, then when he finishes work he comes straight home to see me and spend time with me.

 

I am glad that he didn't stay the way he was in the beginning because I like being with him

[The Blue Knight]

Whenever I hear a "joke" like that, I assume they aren't getting much sex.

 

I can't see a man who is getting regular sex at home preferring to go without for large chunks of time....

 

Insightful and pragmatic as usual xxoo!

[The Blue Knight]

I can't fathom why I'd want to marry someone, and not have them be #1 in my life, including wanting to be with them as often as possible.

I agree. I hear guys talking macho all the time about wanting to get away from their wives and hang with the guys, go drinking, chase girls, etc. That's one reason I don't hang with "the guys" very often. I'm just the opposite. I don't mind being with friends or coworkers now and then, but I prefer doing things as couples as does my wife. While my wife and I still have "our own time" with personal friends, we prefer to be with each other whenever possible.

 

Balance is the key. Smothering each other doesn't work and can get old. You need to keep some semblance of individuality in your marriage. At the same time, both my wife and I anticipate eagerly seeing each other at the end of a long work day.