What Is It Like To Be Beautiful

[beautifulearth83]

What is it like to be beautiful?

 

Ask yourself.

[alphamale]

women go out of their way to help me out whether its at the grocery store or a gas station

[Gold Pile]

.......what's it like to be beautiful? I can't say......

You're more than qualified to answer it

[D-Lish]

You're more than qualified to answer it

 

And you're the "most interesting man in the world".

 

the most interesting man in the world commercial - Yahoo! Canada Search Results

[Kamille]

You're more than qualified to answer it

 

So far, the people who I happen to know are qualified to answer this question have all disputed the idea that being beautiful gives anyone special privilege in life. That's probably what I find most interesting about this thread. Beautiful people actually don't go around their lives thinking every act of kindness or every nasty stare is a result of their looks.

[threebyfate]

(edit to add: replace the sunbird for a Corolla and this story is actually true. The garage was offering me a deal "700" instead of "1200" for repairs. My dad took the same car to the same garage and they charged him 383$.)

Your dad must be truly stunning!

[kiss_andmakeup]

Meh. I've never gotten free stuff or been offered a discount on my car repair or had men falling over each other to talk to me. Men are generally courteous, polite, and very friendly towards me, but not overly so. Guess this means I'm average looking, which is fine. Or that I'm just not everyone's cup of tea. Which is also fine. I get the odd long gazes and "you are really beautiful" remarks from strangers once in a while, but they're usually much older or much less attractive men.

 

I recently heard that a friend of a friend had gossiped about me; about how the heck did I land a good looking and successful man when I'm not even as good looking as she is and she's been trying to find one for years to no avail.

 

Pity that many people are so convinced that looks are everything. The thought really did not cross her mind that perhaps my boyfriend loves me because I am kind, caring, loyal, interesting, and intelligent, and not a shallow, gold-digging airhead like she is.

 

OP should be more concerned with what it's like to be happy. Unfortunately I get the impression that she perceives "beauty" and "happiness" to be synonymous.

[verhrzn]

So far, the people who I happen to know are qualified to answer this question have all disputed the idea that being beautiful gives anyone special privilege in life. That's probably what I find most interesting about this thread. Beautiful people actually don't go around their lives thinking every act of kindness or every nasty stare is a result of their looks.

 

I think 30 Rock called that "the beautiful bubble." Granted, these were fluffy news pieces (like 'Tyra') but stick a beautiful person in a fat suit, and they suddenly realize just how much they were taking for granted.

[D-Lish]

Kam, when I go to a garage, I always take a boy with me.

I also tell them I am getting 3 quotes right off the bat.

 

Lucky for me I once dated a mechanic, and he said that if you bring a guy with you, you'll save money.

 

I pay $25 for an oil change that most try to charge me $40 for.

 

The guy behind me never has to say anything, but having his presence seems to make a difference.

[threebyfate]

verhrzn, not certain why people can't answer you honestly. I get called beautiful all the time although realistically, I consider myself above-average. Screw the false modesty/solicit compliments social game that people love to play. It's pure b/s and beyond annoying.

 

You do get free stuff and some preferential treatment which are nice. To say they're not nice would be dishonest. You also attract attention whereby there's a chunk of very rude and annoying men. You also experience getting treated like objectified meat to acquire. You can also get very cynical about it. But you also get sweet and respectful attention, guys who are sincere. You also get women prejudging you based on looks. You also get women who bother delving further into your personality and connecting through friendship.

 

So, net result, beyond the greater attention of both positive and negative varieties, sometimes you get free stuff and some preferential treatment for being attractive.

 

But then, all seniors get free stuff and preferential treatment too.

[Ross MwcFan]

I don't think I've ever treated beautiful people better than unattractive people.

[Els]

I don't think I've ever treated beautiful people better than unattractive people.

 

Neither do I, as long as the person bothers to practice proper hygiene. I will freely admit to trying to avoid people who look and smell as if they haven't bathed for weeks.

 

I do agree that some people give good-looking people preferential treatment, although, again, that says a lot about their own character as well. I would think poorly of a man who, for example, helps a perfectly able-bodied stunning young woman with her heavy stuff, but ignores the dowdy old grandma down the street who REALLY needs it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

According to the info I've gathered on this thread, being beautiful seems akin to being an old lady. You know, people being extra nice, or else giving you the stinkeye, etc.

[D-Lish]

A beautiful person is never going to get anything free from me- however, a nice person will.

 

I remember when I owned my store, people would come in raging wanting a refund or making other demands on me. I'd never give it to them, pretty or not. A different person would come in asking for the same thing in a nice, respectuful way and I'd return the respect and kindness and often give them what they wanted (within reason).

 

I've gotten free things, or good discounts before- but it's always been becuase I've been kind and personable- and it's usually from other WOMEN, not men.

[RecordProducer]

Wasn't sure what thread to put this post in but thought this could be appropriate... I've always yearned to know what it's like to beautiful, or be seen as very physically attractive. Can other people describe what their experiences are like?

I don't know how it feels to be beautiful, but men find me attractive (there's a pic of me inside my profile), so I'll tell you from my perspective:

 

Pros:

 

• You feel good
  
• You get compliments
  
• You can pick up a guy for sex
  
• You can pursue a career in show business
  
• If you're from Eastern Europe and want to marry a US man, you're more likely to succeed if you look cute
  

Cons:

 

• Women are jealous of you and some will hate you or avoid you (forget hanging out with women who have partners if you're single)
  
• You get hit on by lots of guys you don't like, because somebody told them it costs them nothing to try or they just don't get it
  
• You can't have guy friends because sooner or later they will hit on you, and if you reject them, they walk away
  
• You're totally insecure about your looks anyway because you only see your flaws
  
• There are sick men who find pleasure in mentally torturing the women they're attracted to sexually, so you will be a victim of that occasionally
  
• You're more likely to be a victim of sexual assault or abuse
  
• You're no more likely to find happiness in love
  
• Your partners will feel you as a threat and humiliate you just to show you that you're no better than they are
  
• No, doors aren't open to good-looking people, but
  
• Men will offer you BS just to get in your pants, which means those doors are closed for you now because, obviously, you're not going to sleep with men in exchange for their favors
  

Edited February 24, 2012 by RecordProducer

[Ross MwcFan]

There are sick men who find pleasure in mentally torturing the women they're attracted to sexually, so you will be a victim of that occasionally

 

I've never heard of that before. What do they do?

[Emilia]

I don't think I've ever treated beautiful people better than unattractive people.

 

I do when I want to get laid

[frozensprouts]

I find I get the most attention when I don't wear any clothes, regardless of the condition of my face or body.

 

we had a neighbor like that....

he git really drunk one night and for some unknown reason, decided to take off all his clothes and run up and down the street while belting out "sweet home alabama"...

I can assure you he was in no way attractive, but he sure got a lot of attention

[frozensprouts]

When I was a kid, i was areal dorky nerd with a hideous haircut,stick skinny, huge ugly glasses and the worst clothes ever ( my mom had a thing for buying those hideous polyester pants with the elasticized waistband that were briefly popular- i swear she has a stockpile of them somewhere hoping they'll become stylish again) I got teased and bullied and I hated it.

 

When I went to university, things changed. By then I kind of fit the stereotypical "profile" for being attractive ( or so people told me). I was 5 ft 9, long blonde hair, thin, decent enough facial features, etc. Most people were nice to me, but some women weren't.

 

Now that I'm older, I don't think that I'm really all that physically attractive anymore. Having three kids have taken their toll ( nasty stretch marks, etc.), and I have scoliosis ( a curve in my spine) that developed when I was an adult, so my posture looks a bit odd and my spine has a curve. I'm starting to get the wrinkles, etc. that so often seem to go along with getting older too.

 

Even with all that, I find most people are still nice to me, and i try to be nice to them. Of course there's some i'd like to throttle with my bare hands, but that's only a "select few":laugh:

[woots31]

I think of myself as beautiful. I am not what the norm consideration of beauty is. Men find me attractive as well as women, I feel because of the confidence I have. I find that people are attracted more to my personality then they are my physical appearance. I think beauty shines from the inside out, it is not just a cliche. As for Snow White that is a prime example of beauty shining through. No one knows if snow white was very attractive as much as they no she was pure of heart, right. The witch however had physical attraction her spells saw to that but there was no way to hide the ugliness she wore from the inside out.

[Chocolat]

I'm pretty friendly when I am out and about in the world, so I've sometimes gotten discounts on services or favors or whatever. I'd be hard-pressed to say it was the result of beauty, per se, although it's also true that this usually happens with men, not women. So maybe there is an attraction component. The thing is, I think just about anyone can pull this off. It's all in how you approach the world, not in the exact make-up of your facial structure or whatever. I know I am not classically beautiful, but I have finally learned that I have something that draws some people to me.

 

I think you should spend less time thinking about what and who you're not and more time figuring out how to be happy in your own skin. It took me years to learn how to do this and, truly, it is the most liberating thing ever!

[Mme. Chaucer]

People respond VERY favorably to a truly open, smiling face with direct eye contact. I mean, as long as you don't have the demeanor of a freak.

 

I'm sure it's a well documented fact that beauty greases many wheels for people in life, but other things are at play as well.

[Leigh 87]

OP - verhrzn.........

 

 

Can you please, please, PLEASE, please listen to what I have to say.

 

I have the predisposition to think the way in which YOU do.

 

I hated the fact I was not beautiful and did not accept it for a long time. I could not accept it. However: I did not REALISE, I could have had a full and happy life, being ugly.

 

The truth is, YOU CAN. EVen ugly people can attract average looking men, and once a man loves u, YOU are exactly the girl he wants to see. YOU just want a guy to think your " traditionally, conventionally, earth shatteringly PHYSICALLY gorgeous".

 

 

A guy will not be so repulsed by you, that he will NEVEr grow to find u sexy and love you. Your past experiences until now, are also a reflection of the fact that your personality is not compelling enough to make and keep great people in your life, who let u KNOW how awesome you are, and that a guy will find to be great.

 

 

WHEN I have friends who are not pretty, but are amazing people, I would tell them - your great, a guy is going to think your very sexy.

 

If they PUSHED me to tell them to go into detail about their appearance, and score then out of ten ( which, by the way, truly happy people DO NOT DO) I would say the truth: conventionally, according to the usual rules of beauty, your not simialr to the features and look that is universally appealing to every one. However, your cute and an amazing person and it shows - once a guy falls in love with u , u WILL be beautiful to them, above every one else.

 

 

 

You do not WANT that; there are TWP types of beauty, ACCEPT IT, and let go of all your negativity, or hold on to it and STAY MISERABLE:

 

1 - pocessing physical beauty

2- being average/ unnatractive/ cute slightly above average BUT, falling in love with a guy who sees you as the most beautiful girl to him. Yes, HE WILL KNOW your looks are not what most OTHERS would see to be model material.

 

 

 

verhrzn, YOU ARE ENOUGH for a guy to be ATTRACTED to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once they fall in love, you will get the number 2 sort of beauty scenario: they WILL KNOW your not drop dead gorgous, physically speaking, to other people.. but TO THEM, you will honestly become the most beautiful women to them.

 

 

 

WHy can an ugly women be blissfully happy, when youc annot? Tell me that. Is it because you want a guy to find u drop dead gorgeous? You know, the ugly girls are beautiful to their husbands.

 

You cannot expect to turn heads and be viewed as beatiful to strangers, if your only average or sligthly above. HOwver, u haver to ACCEPT your enough to be at least ATTRACTIVE enough for a guy to date, and come to view you as beautiful once they LOVE you.

 

 

 

 

 

People see the reality, sure: a very attractive person, is seen as what she is; a lesser attractive person is seen as what she is. However, upon talking to the person, an average person can appear very appealing.

 

An average women, once they talk to a guy, can come across as attractive enough for him to date. If your a plain jane, even if your totally remarkable, the guy will, at best, see you as awesome and cute at the first date/ few dates.

 

U can be compelling enough, if your happy with who you are and do not have a defeatest attitude, to get average looking men, so findu to be very attractive to them, based on how u come across.

 

Just not right away, until they get talking to u; they will find u to be more and mroe attractive, until they fall in love, and u become literally beautiful to them. Although, they do realise u were not exactly a model, but are not very beautiful to them.

 

 

 

U DO NOT NEED TO TRY to be compelling or good enough. You need to be honestly happy within YOURSELF, and totally love yourself. Then dating will happen.

 

 

Socially, you mentioned you are not a liked person within your swocial circles; the least liked person in the group. You need to find whats missing, and possible get professional help on how to go about attracting people, and learning to be yourself and embracing it, without doing thigns that put people off.

 

 

If your least liked in all your friendship groups, your doing something to make this the case.

 

Another thing about you that is just so dismally negative, is the fact that u are adament that, you were not born with anything remarkable, therefore it is all doom and gloom.

 

NEWSFLASH: NOT MANY PEOPLE are born that great at ANYTHING. People CULTIVATE a personality. They become HAPPY with the fact they are unique, and different from every one else, and they find things they are good at, and work on it, since most people ARE NOT particularly talented !!!!!!!

[Leigh 87]

You are way more pessimistic and negative body image than I was, which is saying a heck of a lot, considering I have beeen anorexic and had an eating disorder for years, up until recently. I did not think a guy could see me as beautiful unless I was thin.

 

 

However, there is ONE thing that makes me so, so happy, and makes me realise I can have a life that is just as happy as a physically beautiful person:

 

- only I am me. I will not attract as many gorgeous men as a model, but I AM ME. NO ONE ELSE IS.

 

 

- I can have great people in my life who love me, and have a great husband partner, that will think the fact I am me, and no one else is, is utterly beautiful.

 

 

 

I do not need a guy to think I am drop dead gorgeous, because I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just need a guy to fall in love with me, and find me sexy for being me.

 

 

 

YOU can cultivate a personality and self believe system, that allows u to be cute, favourable, and attractive to some men.

 

 

SO far, negative people around u and your social situations, have reinforced a bad mebntality u have; your unnatractive, not remarkable, or well likes.

 

THIS CAN CHANGE. And once you harness the skills to be YOU, but a better version a MORE POSITIVE VERSION, of yourself, U WILL NOT NEED to feel like u have to CONvince people to like u. U WILL KNOW THEY BLOODY WELL DO.

Edited February 28, 2012 by Leigh 87

[verhrzn]

OP - verhrzn.........

 

 

Can you please, please, PLEASE, please listen to what I have to say.

 

I have the predisposition to think the way in which YOU do.

 

I hated the fact I was not beautiful and did not accept it for a long time. I could not accept it. However: I did not REALISE, I could have had a full and happy life, being ugly.

 

The truth is, YOU CAN. EVen ugly people can attract average looking men, and once a man loves u, YOU are exactly the girl he wants to see. YOU just want a guy to think your " traditionally, conventionally, earth shatteringly PHYSICALLY gorgeous".

 

 

A guy will not be so repulsed by you, that he will NEVEr grow to find u sexy and love you. Your past experiences until now, are also a reflection of the fact that your personality is not compelling enough to make and keep great people in your life, who let u KNOW how awesome you are, and that a guy will find to be great.

 

Your posts are deeply confusing. You say you accepted being ugly, and found a great guy who thinks you're gorgeous, blah blah... but at the same time you talk about how you are actually very conventionally attractive, have a nice body, thick hair (then lost it, then got extensions), etc. So, uh, which is it?

 

Furthermore, why WOULD a guy fall in love with an ugly girl? Sure, personality matters, but only when the guy is willing to give a girl a chance. If she's ugly, why would he give her a chance?