Art_Critic Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 (((((Record Producer)))))) I don't have any wise words tonight, but I thought a cyber hug might help. Me too... RP.. remember that your ex will do something like that to keep you on the edge of going back to your old way of life with the drinking and to generally eff with you. Don't let him toy with you like that, don't give him that power over you. Hugs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 RC I'm so sorry for your lost. Take care of yourself and your family. All the Best, Still Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 RP.. remember that your ex will do something like that to keep you on the edge of going back to your old way of life with the drinking and to generally eff with you. Don't let him toy with you like that, don't give him that power over you. HugsThanks, Arty. Yes, you're right about the drinking: he wants me to drink (despite of stating otherwise) because I always chased after him when I was drunk. He's a piece of sh*t - always was, always will be. A person like that can never be my friend. You figured him out from day one! But it could've been worse: I could've been married to him. RC I'm so sorry for your lost. Take care of yourself and your family. All the Best, Still Thank you so much, Still. Link to post Share on other sites
hART Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 I'm sorry for your loss *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 I'm so sorry for your loss, RP. Not sure if anyone else mentioned this but it's possible the reason why you had a nice day the other day, was a goodbye hug and much love from your father. He would have known you weren't told and not resented it. Many hugs and condolences. ((RP)) Link to post Share on other sites
JJ72 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 RIP to your daddy. I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. My dad died at the age of 59 in Dec 99'. Two months before his first grandchild was born. He was my best friend and I miss him everyday. Stay strong. Spend as much time as you can w/ family and friends. hugs Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 Thanks, everyone. TBF, that's very sweet of you to put it that way. JJ72, thank you and sorry about your dad. We have to be strong for our parents because they would want us to be happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 My dad was buried yesterday. My letter was read by dad's best friend's wife - which is very comforting, because she is wonderful and I know she read it with emotion and respect. She put the letter in the grave with him along with a red rose from me (she designated the rose as from me). Around 50 people were present at the funeral. I saw pictures that she sent me; the coffin was beautiful and there were lots of flowers on it. They also exhibited his poetry book which was published 3 months ago. My dad was a violinist at the philharmonic orchestra (retired a few years ago). It's a relief to know that he had the goodbye he deserved. His son was not present at the funeral – he had exams! He goes to college about 440 miles away. Little piece of sh*t – had his mother died, I am sure he would’ve come. I didn’t go, because if I didn’t go when he was alive for the past 6 years, I won’t go now (I am 5,600 miles away). I wanted to remember him alive and cheerful. But my voice was there because my friend read the letter in front of everyone. I still can't believe I'll never see him again. Today I wanted to ask him for advice about my kids, and I realized I couldn't. I tried to remember what he advised me in the past but I couldn't remember if he did. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 My dad was buried yesterday. My letter was read by dad's best friend's wife - which is very comforting, because she is wonderful and I know she read it with emotion and respect. She put the letter in the grave with him along with a red rose from me (she designated the rose as from me). Around 50 people were present at the funeral. I saw pictures that she sent me; the coffin was beautiful and there were lots of flowers on it. They also exhibited his poetry book which was published 3 months ago. My dad was a violinist at the philharmonic orchestra (retired a few years ago). It's a relief to know that he had the goodbye he deserved. His son was not present at the funeral – he had exams! He goes to college about 440 miles away. Little piece of sh*t – had his mother died, I am sure he would’ve come. I didn’t go, because if I didn’t go when he was alive for the past 6 years, I won’t go now (I am 5,600 miles away). I wanted to remember him alive and cheerful. But my voice was there because my friend read the letter in front of everyone. I still can't believe I'll never see him again. Today I wanted to ask him for advice about my kids, and I realized I couldn't. I tried to remember what he advised me in the past but I couldn't remember if he did. Don't go there. It will only increase your pain and delay the healing process. We can never know what truly goes through a person's mind or what chains have them bound. Focus on yourself and your relationship with your father. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I am so sorry for your loss RC . I do not know what to say , and I can't take away your pain . Is there something your dad liked ? maybe if he liked a sport you could go to a game with your kids in his memory or something like that . Maybe donate money to a charity for stroke victims ? something where you feel like you are not helpless and keeping his memory alive. Sorry if this suggestion is offensive . Hugs xxx Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I am so so sorry RP. An how horrible to find out the way you did! It's human nature to try to protect those you love and sometimes human nature is just plain wrong. I am angry for you and with you! I've been thru losses and there is a website that may be able to help you vent or understand your own feelings better - or allow you to talk with others who truly understand and can relate to the cruelty of how you found out. It it http://forums.grieving.com/ - part of Beyondindigo.com One thing I will tell you - whatever you are feeling, whenever you are feeling it - is normal and human and you have a right to feel what you feel. I was given this poem by Henry Van Dyke when my mom passed. It made me cry, but the tears were more cleansing. I hope that you may find some comfort in these words. Know that I'll include you in my prayers too. Gone From My Sight I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says; “There, she is gone!” “Gone where?” Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!” And that is dying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I once interviewed a parishioner who was a hospice nurse, this was probably 7-8 months after my mom died, and we got to talking about something similar. she compared it to a family joyfully waiting for the birth of a new baby, how everyone was excited when mama went into labor and then cries of "She's here! She's here!!!" she said that even though we were grieving about the idea of losing someone we love so much, there in heaven, all the ones who've gone before, all the angels – and God himself – were joyfully waiting the arrival of that person's soul, and that when he/she arrived, they celebrated with as much enthusiasm and joy and love as we do here when our babies arrive. it didn't take away the sting of loss, but somehow, made it better knowing that my mom's departure from this life meant a joyful arrival in the afterlife. And after so many tears, it was a really, really good feeling ... RP, I hope that you're navigating your way through this period of grief remembering all those interesting and wonderful things that made your daddy special 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kest Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Thinking of and praying for you and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
mustang guy Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, you have my condolences! Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
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