He's been chatting to girls online

[weeble78]

Hi

I've just used my boyfriend's PC (with his knowledge) to print off some private work I'm doing.

On switching the computer on, a porn website came up and a website for naughty chat/s*x hookups came up.

I am beyond devastated this instant.

 

We share a house (rented) - I am not tied to him financially.

My first thoughts are to pack up and leave until next week when I have to be back at work.

Or whether to stay and confront him.

Can anyone help me decide?

 

Regardless, my last boyfriend started off doing this a few years before we split - it ended up wth him in a full EA and PA with someone else. Not happening again.

 

Please help with some advice. We're supposed to be getting engaged. Everything's just come crashing down around my ears.

[Bito]

Are you sure its not just a random pop up? Some even non adult sites have those come up.

 

Either way if hes that careless about leaving up porn then i doubt he clears his history. have a look to see if he goes there often or if it is really just a random pop up.

[weeble78]

Thanks for your reply.

 

I've checked his history and everything past a week is deleted. He usually deletes every day, but I haven't used his computer for months.

 

When I switched on, it said it had had to shut down quickly and would I like to restore the webpages he was on - it named the first page as a porn site so I was curious.

 

I should explain that I'm so upset because he never really seems to want s*x with me any more and can't keep it up even if we do go there.

[Bito]

Viewing adult sites compounded with him not satisfying you sexually does indeed warrant your concern. If hes not attracted to you anymore the likely hood of him cheating is very high.

 

If you confront him with this information he will almost certainly deny it and try to reassure you. Unless hes the love of your life id suggest moving on...

[weeble78]

It's the same story as with the ex mate - I know exactly what he's going to say when I tell him.

 

and he can't deny it - the websites are still up there on the screen and on his history.

 

I think I'm going to confront him when he gets home just so I can see his reaction face to face, and then I'm going to go and stay at home until I have to come back.

 

Why why why do people not admit when their feelings are starting to wane? Why continue to go ahead with the farce of looking for an engagement ring, of telling you they love you, of making the effort to be nice, when deep down you can feel that it's changed?

[Professor X]

It's the same story as with the ex mate - I know exactly what he's going to say when I tell him.

 

and he can't deny it - the websites are still up there on the screen and on his history.

 

I think I'm going to confront him when he gets home just so I can see his reaction face to face, and then I'm going to go and stay at home until I have to come back.

 

Why why why do people not admit when their feelings are starting to wane? Why continue to go ahead with the farce of looking for an engagement ring, of telling you they love you, of making the effort to be nice, when deep down you can feel that it's changed?

I say wait a bit before you jump into conclusions... Life might surprise you!

 

Not saying you are wrong though, just halt the thoughts you are having.

 

P.S. Have you got any problems with him watching porn? Cause if he does, it's not uncommon for pop up adds to pop and most of them contain live chat ads and such.

[weeble78]

Hi, thanks for your reply.

 

What should I wait for though? Speaking to him? As far as I can see I don't have to believe anything he says. He told me he was done with porn sites and it's clearly not true.

 

As to your ps, I had no problems with him watching porn - we have done together - but I had problems with him watching it instead of having s*x with me.

 

There has been a lot of pull and push in this relationship, it's swung from him being disinterested to wanting to get married. My gut instinct was telling me that he was unsure I really was 'the one' - he had concerns about heading towards marriage because we've only been together 2 years 3 months, because we've had arguments.

 

Right now it feels like my gut has been confirmed, and that it boils down to he's not sure. And if he's not sure about me after this long, it's not good enough. I want to be the best woman in someone's eyes, not just someone who'll do.

[Professor X]

Hi, thanks for your reply.

 

What should I wait for though? Speaking to him? As far as I can see I don't have to believe anything he says. He told me he was done with porn sites and it's clearly not true.

 

As to your ps, I had no problems with him watching porn - we have done together - but I had problems with him watching it instead of having s*x with me.

 

There has been a lot of pull and push in this relationship, it's swung from him being disinterested to wanting to get married. My gut instinct was telling me that he was unsure I really was 'the one' - he had concerns about heading towards marriage because we've only been together 2 years 3 months, because we've had arguments.

 

Right now it feels like my gut has been confirmed, and that it boils down to he's not sure. And if he's not sure about me after this long, it's not good enough. I want to be the best woman in someone's eyes, not just someone who'll do.

Ah, alright, didn't know those stuff. Well, in that case I agree with you, does sound like your guts instinct is right (it usually is by the way).

 

As for the sex part, that's a big red flag, if he prefers to orgasm in means other than sex with you, it usually (well, always really) means he isn't into you any more.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

I should explain that I'm so upset because he never really seems to want s*x with me any more and can't keep it up even if we do go there.

 

 

 

 

What should I wait for though?

 

 

 

In this case - NOTHING!

 

D.T.M.F.A. !!!!