Bblind59 Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 So last week my fiance asked me to go to a binfire party with her and her friends from work so I said yes ill go but then the next day she said it got cancled and now its going to be a girls night (after a facebook invite was sent to many people) so I agreed not to go and said for her to have fun ... well they day came and she went agreeing to text me and talk to me well she was there, but once she got there some how her phone ended up dead )she had charger and was inside a house) then she charged it and got ahold of me saying it died and she was sorry an that the girls night was just her and her friend well then 30 min later she "fell asleep" and then about 4 hours later after promiseing to come home that night and making me go home from a friends so she could see me she claimedx to be blocked in by a car and she had to stay, well then asked her to call and she said she cant( no reason why) .... well down to the point I found on her friends facebooks that there was a big party and that she was there and was told from a guy she was hanging out with that she was drunk and all over him, so I got upset and she denyed it all, then 2 days later I found her sneaking and texting this other guy and thatg she had been asking to hang out with him everyday I went to work, so she admited and said sorry for texting that guy but she still denys the party even tho I have full proof, what do you think I should do and do you think she cheated? Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I think you should thank your lucky stars you're not already married to this girl, and get out of there sharpish. Clearly she's not being honest with you and has no problem with lying to your face. That's not conducive to a happy and lasting relationship. It's conducive to divorce, bitterness, and heartbreak. Here's what you should do: Tell her that you can forgive cheating if she comes clean with you now, but not continued lying. Ask her to tell you exactly what happened on the night of the party. Chances are, she will continue to deny everything until blue in the face. Don't bother listening when she does this. As soon as you get the faintest whiff of bull****, you walk out on her. Show her you mean what you say. Then you don't speak to her again until you get a confession and an apology. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Simple answer? YES! She felt asleep on girls night out....okay, yeah. She lied about the party and you have proof. Yet, she still doesn't come clean. Friend tells you that she was all over dude at said party. What does that person have to gain by telling you that? AND you CAUGHT her texting the OM. She couldn't come home because she was "blocked in". I've been blocked in before and do you know what I did? I asked the person to move their frickin car!!! Took all of 5 minutes. Dude, sorry to say. But, she threw your relationship out the window. No respect and she tries to insult your intelligence with these stupid lies that you can verify. Time to move on, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 You have no proof she cheated, but if she didnt, she wants to, and is pretty much emotionally cheating, and was probably going to leave you at the altar anyways. You already know she stayed at the party because she wanted to, dump her now before she dumps you. Link to post Share on other sites
kwayne Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 It's hard to know what really happened because if you can trust a bystander saying she was along of some guy then you should be able to trust her when she says it was a girl's night. I obviously don't believe her, but I'm just saying. How long have you been together? Has she ever cheated before or lied like this before? Frankly, she's obviously not ready to get married. Maybe she's gotten cold feet and this is her way of dealing. Either way, I say don't marry her now. But that doesn't mean you can't work things out. If she can't be honest with you, maybe you're approaching her wrong. She could be terrified that you'll leave her. Try telling her everything on your plate and your point of view and maybe she'll start to see things and open up. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bblind59 Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 We have been together for almost 3 years now, and my reaction is I freaked and broke it off with her and then she was devistated crying worse then I ever seen someone, then she was begging for me back saying she was truely sorry and she would do anything for me but she still won't admit to the party, so by her actions of crying so much and freaking out so much I went back on my word and we are back together now, idk if that was the right thing to do because she still won't admit the party she says all the info I have about it was to something else and that the guy that told me that stuff is lying, So idk if this means anything either but she willl not touch me sexually or even hardly kiss me anymore since about a week before this party happened, and suggestions? But to answer a question formerly askexd about has she ever done something like this before well she had wrote a x bf a letter about 6 months ago saying she loved him missed him a lot and that she couldn't wait for him to get back from. The army so she could be with him but in this event she admited everything and truely made me feel like that was a mistake and I staid with. Her, so yes she has done something to lose my trust before Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 On top of everything else, she wrote a letter to her ex bf 6 months ago? After texing a guy behind your back recently? BBlind, you are truly living up to your name. Now I believe she is only with you because you are the guy who gave her a ring at a time she wanted one, like she was settling. She is not emotionally connected to you. I think she doesnt want to be alone, and the first chance she gets to make a real connection to another man, she will leave you. You are her safety net to avoid being alone. She is hysterical crying to keep her safety net, she doesnt want to have to explain why she was dumped yet. Her crying wasnt because she didnt want to lose you, it was manipulation tio keep you around until she is ready to dump you. And she still wont admit about the party. maybe you need to get in touch with that guy, and make her face him. PLEASE get rid of this woman, she is not sincere at all. You can wait until she does this again, and she will, but do you really want to do that after all of the evidence you have now? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 She has played you for a fool and knows how to manipulate you with tears. Compounding this with the letter to the ex shows you that she is a liar and a cheat. She clearly thinks you are an idiot. The fact that you took her back makes me think that she is probably correct. Link to post Share on other sites
kwayne Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 dump her. she's using you as her back up. when things don't go well with her ex or some other guy, you're there. don't be a puss, kick her on her ass. she deserves it. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Geez all she has to do is shed a few tears and make an empty promise and you are willing to take her back?! Trust me this is going to happen again and again (especially since it already HAS happened multiple times) because she knows that she can walk all over you and you will take whatever bullsh*t she gives you. You need to dump her - FOR GOOD. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 So last week my fiance asked me to go to a binfire party with her and her friends from work so I said yes ill go but then the next day she said it got cancled and now its going to be a girls night Oh ya, been there and done that with the whole "girls night" thing. "Girls night" means no guys, or more accurately, none of the boyfriends or husbands, and other guys are ok to be in their presence. she claimedx to be blocked in by a car and she had to stay Obviously a bulls##t excuse. well then asked her to call and she said she cant( no reason why) .... well down to the point I found on her friends facebooks that there was a big party and that she was there and was told from a guy she was hanging out with that she was drunk and all over him Yup, girls night out means without the significant others only. so I got upset and she denyed it all, then 2 days later I found her sneaking and texting this other guy and thatg she had been asking to hang out with him everyday I went to work, so she admited and said sorry for texting that guy but she still denys the party even tho I have full proof, what do you think I should do and do you think she cheated? Yes, she cheated. If you marry her, you WILL be sorry. That I can promise you. And if you do marry her, I think she screwed up girls night out being acceptable by you any longer. I think you need to ask for the ring back. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not only is she jerking you around after the fact, it was all premeditated. You were originally supposed to go to the party with her and she changed it to 'girls night out' because she was planning to try and hook up with this guy she was all over, or perhaps any guy who happened to be there. Bottom line is, she's playing you for a schmuck and somehow you manage to delude yourself into thinking that it's not what it really is. She's a lying, manipulating, remorseless piece of $hit and she's treating you like a doormat. She isn't sorry for what she did, she's sorry she got caught––and still she lies and lies. And the fact that she was emailing an ex and planning to hookup with him several months ago makes this a pattern of behavior, not a one time thing. Man, you better extricate yourself. Do you somehow rationalize that you deserve this kind of humiliation? I say go with preserving your dignity and self-respect and let her make someone else miserable for the rest of his life. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 We have been together for almost 3 years now, and my reaction is I freaked and broke it off with her and then she was devistated crying worse then I ever seen someone, then she was begging for me back saying she was truely sorry and she would do anything for me but she still won't admit to the party, so by her actions of crying so much and freaking out so much I went back on my word and we are back together now, idk if that was the right thing to do because she still won't admit the party she says all the info I have about it was to something else and that the guy that told me that stuff is lying, So idk if this means anything either but she willl not touch me sexually or even hardly kiss me anymore since about a week before this party happened, and suggestions? But to answer a question formerly askexd about has she ever done something like this before well she had wrote a x bf a letter about 6 months ago saying she loved him missed him a lot and that she couldn't wait for him to get back from. The army so she could be with him but in this event she admited everything and truely made me feel like that was a mistake and I staid with. Her, so yes she has done something to lose my trust before I know it's difficult, but try to look at the situation logically. She lied about the party and carried on an emotional affair (at a minimum) behind your back. She won't tell you the truth about what happened on girls night out because she knows, because you left her due to the texting incident, that you are sure to be gone when she tells you she had sex with someone that night. It sounds like you are her back-up plan and is not really committed to you. What is the best outcome for you here? That she tells you the truth about screwing some guy from work during the girls night out party? Is that going to resolve this in your heart? Look, you don't have children and are not married. You would be foolish to stay with a lying cheater that you will never trust again. Break up with her right now. Save both of you from a living hell and free yourself to find a loving, trusting relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 On another note, I've dated some women that on a rare occasion might have a "girls night out", but as long as it doesn't involve partying and surrounding themselves with the opposite sex, I have no problem. But when the girls night out thing becomes a habit, I no longer am interested in continuing a relationship with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 anyone who comes on and thinks their girlfriend cheated, wont admit to going to a party, found out she was texting the guy, takes them back after "crying alot" and the woman wont kiss him or touch him sexually then asks for "suggestions" is a lost cause....if not a troll Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 OP will be back after GF's X comes home and she starts banging him. Stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 We have been together for almost 3 years now, and my reaction is I freaked and broke it off with her and then she was devistated crying worse then I ever seen someone, then she was begging for me back saying she was truely sorry and she would do anything for me but she still won't admit to the party, so by her actions of crying so much and freaking out so much I went back on my word and we are back together now, idk if that was the right thing to do because she still won't admit the party she says all the info I have about it was to something else and that the guy that told me that stuff is lying, So idk if this means anything either but she willl not touch me sexually or even hardly kiss me anymore since about a week before this party happened, and suggestions? But to answer a question formerly askexd about has she ever done something like this before well she had wrote a x bf a letter about 6 months ago saying she loved him missed him a lot and that she couldn't wait for him to get back from. The army so she could be with him but in this event she admited everything and truely made me feel like that was a mistake and I staid with. Her, so yes she has done something to lose my trust before Just 2 words. DUMP HER!! Link to post Share on other sites
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