im in love with a coworker and shes married.

[Average Joe]

Okay peeps here it goes. First of all this is the second time that i get involved with a married woman. So more or less i know what im getting myself into, here it goes. Im a dispatcher/driver at a transportation company here in Miami. I get involved with a driver that shes been working here for about 6 years, Ive only been in the company for 2 years. I had seen her with her husband a few times when she would come to pick up her route so I wouldnt pay much attention to her, until she started bringing me gifts and sending me texts, and calling me. So I decided to take it a step ahead and I invited her out to dinner about a month ago more or less. We immediatly clicked and now we cannot stay away from each other. Shes currently getting divorced because her husband is verbally abusive threats her like crap hes a drunk and for example 3 months after they married he disappeared for 8 months with no trace at all and she took him back in to save the marriage. But its something that shes realized that she cannot live with. We started having sex about 2 weeks ago and its brought us even more together. But now for the best part of the story. Today im talking to a really good friend driver of mines and he told me that this chick has been around with several drivers before she got married and that she was also an alcoholic. Now i dont know if to continue with her or to try and get rid of her. Shes not a bad person shes actually really good to me and really good to my 9 year old daughter that im raising by myself. For my daughters birthday she went out and bought her 2 sets of clothes and shes also been really good to me, I know that I shouldnt judge anyone for their past but Im really confused at this moment. Shes Christian and she attends church 3 times a week. She told me that she was lost a few years back and thats why she decided to get close to God. I dont know what to do....could it be possible for someone to change their ways? Could this chick do me wrong down the road if I continue with her? please give me your most senciere advice. BTW im new to this forum. I joined because I need some advice and its just not something that I can talk to anyone about. Thanks to all.

 

Marvin M.

[Emme]

Today im talking to a really good friend driver of mines and he told me that this chick has been around with several drivers before she got married and that she was also an alcoholic. Now i dont know if to continue with her or to try and get rid of her. Shes not a bad person shes actually really good to me and really good to my 9 year old daughter that im raising by myself.

 

You might be feeling hesitant because she's been with your co workers. You have to ask yourself if it had been other people you didn't know would that fact even matter. You care for her and that's all that matters. If you have to exclude this new found knowledge to accept her as is, then you must. You can't look at her as though she's been around the block with people you know. If that's something you can't do then this relationship is off to a bad start.

 

She told me that she was lost a few years back and thats why she decided to get close to God. I dont know what to do....could it be possible for someone to change their ways? Could this chick do me wrong down the road if I continue with her?

 

You say she's kind and loving. Factors I am sure you're looking for. Appreciate them. She explained her past to you and maybe finding god did help her grow as a individual. Any woman can do you wrong. It's the chance you take on love.

 

I will say that you should take it slow. Mainly because her husband left and she took him back. Don't get too attached to her until you see the divorce papers. It's just to be safe if she might return back to him for any given reason. Good luck to you.

 

Welcome to LS.

[Average Joe]

Emme thanks for your reply I actually dont care about her past, because just like she has a past I have mines 2. It works both ways. She asked me to run out and get her the divorce application so I went to the court and wanst able to get the papers because there was way to many people and I didnt have enough time to sit and wait, so shes going to go get them on Monday. I know shes a good person I know this for a fact. She tells me not to hurt her because shes in love with me. She tole me she loved me the 2nd time that we went out...it was like love at first sight. I felt the same thing but I was afraid to show it. Thank God that she decided to say it first. My friend also asked me if I was going to Marry her.....and I said that I didnt know that we were just going out. He told me that even if she has a past that It didnt matter that the drivers would respect her as my wife.

 

Marvin M-Average Joe.

[nofool4u]

Could this chick do me wrong down the road if I continue with her?

 

Yes, she will. Based on your description of what friends have told you about her, she is a lying wh0re.

 

Don't let your little head do the thinking for the big one. Listen to your friends.

[nofool4u]

Emme thanks for your reply I actually dont care about her past, because just like she has a past I have mines 2.

 

You better care about her past, because its an indicator of the future. Everyone has a past, but not everyone has doosies like this woman.

 

And it seems that the past isn't really in the past and her lousy behaviors are happening in the present.

 

Look, you do what you want. I suspect the tingly feeling in your crotch is going to overpower common sense. So I doubt you will see her for what she is, you will go for a relationship with her. You'll get what you asked for.

 

 

I know shes a good person I know this for a fact. She tells me not to hurt her because shes in love with me. She tole me she loved me the 2nd time that we went out...it was like love at first sight. I felt the same thing but I was afraid to show it. Thank God that she decided to say it first. My friend also asked me if I was going to Marry her.....and I said that I didnt know that we were just going out. He told me that even if she has a past that It didnt matter that the drivers would respect her as my wife.

 

Marvin M-Average Joe.

 

Aye yi yi. Ok my man. Good luck with her....and all the other drivers she will be flirting with behind your back.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Hm. That's quite a story.

[Lauriebell82]

Do you know for SURE that she is getting a divorce? MM/MW have a pattern of luring their partners into affairs by claiming they are in the process of a divorce and then full out bashing their spouses to the AP.

 

I think you are getting involved in some serious drama. Get out now before it gets worse. Save yourself heartache later.

[NU42]

Brother, take a look at my recent posts on various threads.

 

I am the managing partner of a law firm. I fell in love with a beautiful woman who had been my employee for a decade. She was nothing more than an employee for many years until we brushed up against each other in the office kitchen and released 8 years of sexual tension .....if you know what I mean. At the time, she was was living with her deadbeat boyfriend who was and still is an unemployed alcoholic. She kicked him out of the house the next day, literally, and we became a couple almost instantly.

 

We were together for more than a year. It was serious and everything seemed to be perfect. The sex was phenomenal. We were having a blast together. Her kids thought I was the greatest guy ever. Her sisters loved me. And we were going to get married.

 

The week after she introduced me to her grandmother, essentially for the purposes of getting her grandmother's blessing to marry, she decided to break up with me and get back together with her unemployed alcoholic ex-boyfriend, ostensibily for the sake of the kids. I still have feelings for her; I suspect she still has feelings for me; and she still works for my firm. I see her every day .......

 

IF you can guarantee me that you can hook up with this chick without emotional attachment, then you have nothing to lose because she can't hurt you. IF you can guarantee me that you can find another good job tomorrow in the event your relationship turns into an episode of the Jerry Springer show, then you have nothing to lose because she can't jeopardize your financial security.

 

BUT, no man can make either one of those guarantees. So be careful. Trust me. I understand the chemistry and temptation. I also understand the painful ramifications.

 

It's an all or none proposition.

[NU42]

By the way, I do believe people can change. Is it possible that you are meant to be with this woman? Of course it's possible. I don't know her, but I do know a lot of people who changed for the better through counseling and/or belief in God.

 

Just take it very slow and be careful. Follow 3 pieces of advice.

 

First, make sure that you do not discuss your any aspect of your relationship with co-workers, most importantly, your sexual relationship. What's done is done. Just don't discuss it anymore. If your relationship falls apart, do not involve your co-workers or ask them to take sides. The risk is that they may take sides whether you ask them to or not, which may or may not be a good thing. Again, you don't want your work place to become an episode of the Jerry Springer show.

 

Second, do not give her any financial assistance until she is in fact divorced. After her divorce is final, do what you want.

 

Third, don't tell her you "love" her unless her divorce is final.

 

If you follow those three bits of advice, the worst thing that happens is that you have an affair with a woman who failed to follow through with her plans to divorce. But at least you've made sure that you protected your employment, your finances and the emotional wealth you expose when you utter the "L" word.