Negative Nancy Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 No. An unreasonable reason to dumping a guy is if he doesn't pick up his wet towels. It's not unreasonable to dump a guy who flirts with 15 year olds. Before you or not. And I don't know about anyone else but it doesn't matter what kind of "sexting" it was. Naked pictures, graphic language or "harmless" flirting are all indicitive of a kind of man I, and obviously by this thread, most women, woudn't want to be with when it's directed to a 15 YEAR OLD. I wholeheartedly agree with this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 So many judgmental people in the world. Maybe if he was a serial killer he'd get more sympathy. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Whoa. I don't know if you meant it that way, but that came off super condescending. Let me ask you this, you ever consider that just about EVERY woman on this thread has said that hitting on or sexting or even maybe just flirting with fifteen year olds is wrong and gross for a thirty five year old man, not just because we're repressed, but because we have actually BEEN fifteen year old girls? We know that fifteen year old girls are attractive to creeps in ways you can't imagine, because we have been through old guys hitting on us and sexualizing us and flirting with us? And apparantly it was bad for us in some way, since we're all here saying UGH. Btw, it's weird how much YOU and some other guys here are blowing this out of proportion, calling it a crucifixion or a lynch mob or saying the women are calling it a crime against humanity. Crimes against humanity, lynchings, crucifixions, wow, really? What people are talking about is dumping a guy and finding one who doesn't hit on underage teenagers. I mean, get a grip, guys. And to the other poster who mentioned emancipated minors several times, I was a 15 year old girl living on the street. I have a little inside perspective. I worked two jobs under the table and I had been through **** you wouldn't believe. I eventually did get legally emancipated. And the LAST thing I needed then was some 35 year old thinking I was a nice piece of fresh meat for him. I was having sex with people closer to MY OWN AGE and I was living in a different world from most 15 year olds but I was still totally not ready for the mindtrip of a 35 year old. I really think it's weird that you are having so much trouble getting it that the ages involved are a big deal. This! I've said at least twice, that I WAS one of those girls, and I didn't like it. and I don't look to teenage models for anything. I stopped buying magazines when I was around nineteen/twenty, when it comes to that, because of the messages they throw out that I don't like. Half of them are adverts, and the rest is selling something to make yourself more attractive, rather than just liking yourself. Didn't I say this last night? in another thread, I think. I don't like the adverts they have of girls who are obviously in their late teens/early twenties, advertising anti-aging creams. They wake up amazed and happy that this cream wiped years away from their already beautiful young faces? (I'm not looking back to see if it was me or someone else who was called condescending - I really don't feel well, and don't need to be pissed on top of that.) Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 So many judgmental people in the world. Maybe if he was a serial killer he'd get more sympathy. Oh, please. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Do you think I'm saying rapists are not responsible for their actions? That is a stupid idea. Of course people who do bad things should be punished and held accountable. I'm just saying if you don't want to get burned... don't stick your damn hand in a fire. Duh. No, I'm not liking the men who are saying there's no problem with sexting a fifteen-year-old. I'm saying that anyone who hit on me at that age, was definitely aiming for more, and that any man witnessing it - if they had - should have stepped in. I'm saying that men who NEED to learn not to mess with young girls, aren't going to be stopped unless men actually say something, rather than joining in with the, "yeah, she's hot" talk (at the very least). You weren't saying that what the guy did was right, but you were putting the responsibility on the girl and her parents. I'm saying that I have street smarts and good instincts, I didn't dress provocatively - I was fully dressed when I was hit on - but even wearing shorts and a t-shirt, I should have been fine. Or even a bikini (which I wouldn't wear, because I felt self-conscious). No matter what I did right, I was still hit on, and leered at. If something more had happened, it would have been seen by some as my fault. Of course girls need to learn to take care of themselves, but men are usually stronger than us physically. I'm tired, and this is going nowhere. I see it as sick, I'm not feeling well. On-topic: he should have left the girl alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Also, I had issues thanks to my "nice little figure" developing that young, and continuing to bring me that attention. I stopped going swimming, I stopped wearing shorts and skirts above the knee, after a while - in my late teens, and in my early twenties with the shorts. I never wore tank tops. I may as well have been a puritan. My mother's boyfriend, when I was fourteen, raped her once, unbeknownst to me, and out of his own insecurities around my dad being there. He'd eyed me in a skirt before, and one night, when he came home drunk, he was holding my hands up and then moved me against the wall, and I froze - I was afraid that he was going to do something, and I didn't know how to get out of it. Luckily, my mother came in and said, "what's going on here?!" he wasn't even supposed to be there, but was drunk and had been making a lot of noise outside. Again: I'm talking as a woman who was in the position of being sexualized at such a young age, by older men. It was creepy, and I developed other issues from it - I'd already almost been killed, nine years before. And I'm saying that if something had happened, the blame would have been put by some on me and my mother, rather than where it belonged: on the attacker. The blame here is on the adult. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 So many judgmental people in the world. Maybe if he was a serial killer he'd get more sympathy. Yes, that's right. If he was a serial killer he'd get more sympathy. Goodness. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Again: I'm talking as a woman who was in the position of being sexualized at such a young age, by older men. It was creepy, and I developed other issues from it - I'd already almost been killed, nine years before. And I'm saying that if something had happened, the blame would have been put by some on me and my mother, rather than where it belonged: on the attacker. The blame here is on the adult. Absoluetely Anela. It's a shame but I have heard that before. That someone that teenage girl "knew" what she was doing or she was a "tease". That she was somehow in anyway culpable of how an adult handles themselves. It's disturbing. I have always believed that something a lot of teens miss out on is mentoring that comes from adults of the oppsite sex outside their family. Yes, kids need their fathers and mothers and great teachers. Little kids don't need that mentoring but teenagers do because they are becoming more a part of the world. There is something to be said for what people outside your family teach you about the other sex. I think it's really important for men and women to mentor kids and not exploit them or over sexualize them during this time. I think it would actually build healthier relationships for when those kids reach maturity and might have a better grasp of how to relate to the other gender. Such as men looking at teenage girls from a mentoring position then just looking at them over sexualized. And the same for women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Felt this pertained to the thread: James Hooker, California High School Teacher, Leaves Job And Family For Former Student This guy is throwing away his whole life because hes thinking with his penis. What an idiot. And this is alleged to have started when the girl was just 14 or 15. Clear example of an adult in power exploiting the naivety of a youth. I am surprised though that this latest teach student romance didnt involve a teenage boy and female teacher. Either way, when this girl starts desiring hot guys her own age, this man will be without a career or family to go back to. Never mind the fact that he humiliated his own daughter who goes to the school. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Yeah Mr. Hooker clearly crossed a line that the guy in the OP didn't cross, at least to our knowledge. So helpful, but not exactly the same thing. It's like hoping someone falls off the side of a steep cliff vs. pushing them off of that cliff. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Either way, when this girl starts desiring hot guys her own age, this man will be without a career or family to go back to. Never mind the fact that he humiliated his own daughter who goes to the school. Not only is he humilating his family and kids, he is teaching his kids, and his daughter, something in all this. From farther's, girls learn alot. He is damanging her more then he even cares. All because he wants to bang a teenager. His desire to bang is more important then his desire to be a role model for his own daughter. She is going to ahve a tough time trusting men after this. It's a real shame. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 My bf of 6 months was sexting a 15 year old. he is 35. ... he said she answered his ex gf's phone and he was drunk and it was innocent flirting..... Sorry, I just don't believe it. It's a lame-ass story. In reality, your "bf" was attempting to seduce a minor. DTMFA. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 My bf of 6 months was sexting a 15 year old. he is 35. (before we were together). This creeps me out a bit, but I talked to him and he said she answered his ex gf's phone and he was drunk and it was innocent flirting ect...but still. Thoughts? Thanks! This is not only creepy & sick but you only being creeped out, "a bit" is creepy. I think it only enters the realm of, "a bit" creepy if she was 20 & he was 35. btw; being drunk is NEVER an excuse. "gee officer can you give me a pass, I've been drinking". Link to post Share on other sites
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