2sunny Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You are being terrible in defending his bad behavior! Over look the obvious now - you will get more of his crap in your future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LovJoy Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 If she looked 20 i say give him a pass on pedo crap. But, he was cheating on you, so just on that note, you should dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I seriously think the board is being trolled by an epic women hater lately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) I revoke my post...this has to be a troll Edited February 23, 2012 by Ninjainpajamas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ursa Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You already know it's wrong of him and terribly concerning, which is why you posted, and why you already stated you were aware there'd be a ****storm reaction. So why are you doing everything you can to whitewash it? He thinks it's okay to get sexual with young teenagers. Isolate that in your mind, think about it in an aside from whatever other qualities he has. How do you feel about it? I'm close to your boyfriend's age, and I have a stepchild who is close to the age of the young teen in question. Believe me when I tell you a 15 year old girl, no matter how rounded of hip and breast, is still in most ways a child, struggling with growing pains, worried about being popular, chafing about her unfair curfew, possibly still sleeping with dolls. Even if she was experimenting with her budding sexualiy--and most 15-year-olds do--it's your boyfriend's role as an adult to back away and respect the fact that her development is lightyears away from his own. Instead, something in him is broken, and he chose to get creepy and inappropriate, because he can't see the lines. He might have many other good aspects of his personality, but please do take note: something in him is broken, and it should concern you. Another, side issue: he felt close enough to his ex to still call her up on the phone to chat, yet he also felt it was okay to hit on and sexualize and sext her new quasi-stepdaughter. Let me tell you now, in case you missed it: this aspect of the whole situation is ALSO creepy. So what will he do the next time he feels bad about himself? This is not reassuring AT ALL. This. OP, he is showing you who he is, deep down underneath the good stuff: weak, creepy, in need of validation no matter how inappropriate the source. You need to really, really pay attention. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 My bf of 6 months was sexting a 15 year old. he is 35. (before we were together). This creeps me out a bit, but I talked to him and he said she answered his ex gf's phone and he was drunk and it was innocent flirting ect...but still. Thoughts? Thanks! Not a big deal. Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :sick: Hey, OP, I have been drunk as most of us have. Very very very drunk. Guess what I've NEVER done, no matter how wasted? Sexted a MINOR. Your BF is nasty. I would be disgusted just looking at him. Please stop defending him, he is a complete loser. Gross. This is the stuff of "To Catch a Predator" on Dateline. Stop making excuses for him; it's pathetic. Dump him, he's a total creep. That show is EXACTLY what I was thinking of! FFS, "well she looked 20 and I was drunk" is not an excuse! He's a creepster to the max! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 My thoughts... It could be that this is actually the bf posting trying to find arguments to use against his girlfriend who is quite rightly disgusted at his actions and does not want to know him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not sure I agree with this. In court, if he'd acted on anything, he'd be a paedophile. It makes him someone who can't distinguish between right and wrong when it comes to his physical desires. It does not make him good boyfriend material. Really, where's this, the US. I thought a paedophile was a person who had sex with childen (probably up to pre-puberty), not a teenager. It would be more like sex with a person under the age of consent. The pedo word gets thrown about too much by women in the wrong situation. There's a post running here now about a guy taking about his 19y gf when his was in his mid 30s. A friend of mine was in a similar relationship, and some of the women in our social circle were actually calling him a paedophile and wanted the guys to cut off of contact with him + exclude him from all social outings. Also I'd like to know what exactly is the definition of innocent flirting in the instance of this guy. Was he asking here if she had a bf, does she like boys, or had she ever had sex or that she was a very pretty girl and he thought she was sexy. The last one is not not exactly appropriate to talk to someone's teenage daughter about, but its not like he gave a blo by blo acount of how he would make love to her (or maybe he did, but the OP said innocent flirting). I'm just saying people have different interpretations of terms (I see it on LS a fair bit). I'm not saying talking about sex with lewd intentions to a 15 yr is fine (if thats what he did), its definitely not appropriate (though in a number of european countries even sex with a 15yr is not a crime), I just wanted to add he is not a pedo, and this one off incident when drunk is not a hanging offence. I know a few girls who have done 3somes or gangbang with guys they only just known a few hrs, when drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 My bf of 6 months was sexting a 15 year old. he is 35. (before we were together). This creeps me out a bit, but I talked to him and he said she answered his ex gf's phone and he was drunk and it was innocent flirting ect...but still. Thoughts? Take the phone, and your story, to the nearest police station. Thanks! You're welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I seriously think the board is being trolled by an epic women hater lately. I revoke my post...this has to be a troll Yeah guys. Ive noticed a lot of these new posters have Feb 2012 join dates. Im not sure if the board is being trolled or if more people joined because of Valentines Day being in February. O wells Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I revoke my post...this has to be a troll I was thinking the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 My bf of 6 months was sexting a 15 year old. he is 35. (before we were together). This creeps me out a bit, but I talked to him and he said she answered his ex gf's phone and he was drunk and it was innocent flirting ect...but still. Thoughts? Thanks! GROSS!!! Dump him ASAP Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Never did anything inappropriate with a minor, but I had a few women sending me pics when I was in my late teens. Even if it is a troll the story isn't out of the realm of possibility, it happens. Might as well talk about it. Plus from what I understand the email servers just got fixed, so for the first time in a while new people can actually sign up and confirm their accounts. None of you girls ever had a crush on an older guy when you were that age? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I don't think so. I have heard of women making excuses for their husbands mnolesting their own kids. Some women will put up with anything to have a man (getting beat up, their man sexting minors, some even put up with their own kids getting molested by their man). Seems hard to believe but this stuff happens a lot. I agree. OP if you really thought this was nothing why did you bother to start a thread about it. Your bf is gross and whether you like it or not he likes very young girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Ursa Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I just wanted to add he is not a pedo, and this one off incident when drunk is not a hanging offence. I know a few girls who have done 3somes or gangbang with guys they only just known a few hrs, when drunk. Hanging offense? No. You're right, the OP should probably not actually string him up by the neck until he stops kicking. But it is a dumping offense. And in some parts of the world, sexting minors can come with jail time. By the way--I'm not particularly a prude, and I don't clutch my pearls at the thought of a threesome or a gangbang. But someone who has a gangbang with a bunch of guys they just met after a few drinks--well, that's a girl who is likely to also have something broken inside, especially if she's having gangbangs with legally underaged kids, which is the demographic under discussion here. Never did anything inappropriate with a minor, but I had a few women sending me pics when I was in my late teens. Even if it is a troll the story isn't out of the realm of possibility, it happens. Might as well talk about it. Plus from what I understand the email servers just got fixed, so for the first time in a while new people can actually sign up and confirm their accounts. None of you girls ever had a crush on an older guy when you were that age? Well, for starters, nobody is talking about a girl with a daydreamy crush on an older guy--what's under discussion is a grown man hitting on and sexting a minor. Is he a predator, trying to cultivate a sexual relationship? Or is he just inappropriate, creepy, and seeking validation wherever he can find it? Could be either, I guess. One is worse than the other, but neither is good. If I had had a crush on a 35 year old man when I was 15, I would now be extremely grateful if he had had the good common sense and decency to realize that I was just a dumb kid and not try to take advantage of that. I did have a teacher who was probably about 35 when I was about 15, who was kind of overly touchy-feely with the girls. Always draped over the backs of our chairs, or offering backrubs. He was a joke, well known as a creeper. I don't know how he appeared to the adults in his own circle, but at school all the kids were grossed out by him--and rightly so. Nobody could take his class seriously, nobody respected him. I'm pretty sure OP doesn't want to be dating that guy. I know I wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 You already know it's wrong of him and terribly concerning, which is why you posted, and why you already stated you were aware there'd be a ****storm reaction. So why are you doing everything you can to whitewash it? He thinks it's okay to get sexual with young teenagers. Isolate that in your mind, think about it in an aside from whatever other qualities he has. How do you feel about it? I'm close to your boyfriend's age, and I have a stepchild who is close to the age of the young teen in question. Believe me when I tell you a 15 year old girl, no matter how rounded of hip and breast, is still in most ways a child, struggling with growing pains, worried about being popular, chafing about her unfair curfew, possibly still sleeping with dolls. Even if she was experimenting with her budding sexualiy--and most 15-year-olds do--it's your boyfriend's role as an adult to back away and respect the fact that her development is lightyears away from his own. Instead, something in him is broken, and he chose to get creepy and inappropriate, because he can't see the lines. He might have many other good aspects of his personality, but please do take note: something in him is broken, and it should concern you.. Ursa, this is a wonderfully insightful and sensitive response. 15 year olds have developing bodies. But they are not fully developed grown ups. Mentally or phyiscally. I would consider it a red flag for any man or woman to be attracted to 15 year olds. OP, you know it's wrong. You're making excuses for him. Not only did he creep on a 15 year old. He creeped on the 15 year old of an ex's bf's child. You know it's low. YOu admit it's low. And it seems that you want to the board to give you the thumbs up that this was okay. It's not. He is not a good man. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Yeah guys. Ive noticed a lot of these new posters have Feb 2012 join dates. O wells Yeh and this thread has 3 of them - the ones who think the poor guy's not that bad. Right. He has poor self esteem so that excuses sexting a 15 year old. That's just rich! Link to post Share on other sites
chryssy83 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Against the law. She isn't old enough to legally consent. In my state, this is solicitation of a minor--a felony. And I know of at least three men in the local jail accused of this very conduct. No one should say its not so bad...he is taking advantage of a girl who is not yet mature enough to be in an adult relationship. Support him now and count on bailing him out of jail one day when he abuses another child, or your child. If you care about the girl, report his ass. But you won't because you are either so deluded you think it's funny to post fake stuff on LS or the type who believes you can't do better than a wannabe statutory-rapist for yourself. It's cheating, it's illegal, it's perverse. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Against the law. She isn't old enough to legally consent. In my state, this is solicitation of a minor--a felony. And I know of at least three men in the local jail accused of this very conduct. No one should say its not so bad...he is taking advantage of a girl who is not yet mature enough to be in an adult relationship. Support him now and count on bailing him out of jail one day when he abuses another child, or your child. If you care about the girl, report his ass. But you won't because you are either so deluded you think it's funny to post fake stuff on LS or the type who believes you can't do better than a wannabe statutory-rapist for yourself. It's cheating, it's illegal, it's perverse. He was sending text messages back and forth hardly an egregious offense. People are making a mountain out of a mole hill here. OP should stick with him, I see nothing wrong in what he did unless he made a habit of doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Come on 49, even if he had been flirting with a 21 year old, that would still be a launchable offense. But a 15 year old? Come on. And a 15 year old of the ex's bf's daughter. That is some twisted Jerry Springer stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Come on 49, even if he had been flirting with a 21 year old, that would still be a launchable offense. But a 15 year old? Come on. And a 15 year old of the ex's bf's daughter. That is some twisted Jerry Springer stuff. I didn't say I'd do it and didn't say I wanted to give him a medal for it. But unless he's shown a tendency to prefer minors (which wouldn't make him a pedophile by the way since pedophilia is attraction to pre-pubescent children) I think you just chalk it up as a mistake and move on. Perhaps I'm just more forgiving than most on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 He was sending text messages back and forth hardly an egregious offense. People are making a mountain out of a mole hill here. OP should stick with him, I see nothing wrong in what he did unless he made a habit of doing this. They aren't making a mountain out of a molehill. He's in a relationship (if this isn't a troll), and sexting with a fifteen-year-old. That's disgusting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 He doesn't have to be a pedophile for this to be twisted. He is not a healthy adult male. Healthy adult males like healthy adult females. 15 year olds have growing bodies and minds. They are not fully grown adults with fully grown minds. That's the reality. They aren't 10 year olds but they aren't 20 year olds either. And it's a huge red flag when a man or woman shows any kind of infinity for underage teenagers. A mistake is "woops, I fogot to buy her a card and it's her birthday", a mistake is not, "oops, i texted my ex gf's current bf's child and sexed her up over text." Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 They aren't making a mountain out of a molehill. He's in a relationship (if this isn't a troll), and sexting with a fifteen-year-old. That's disgusting. Some fifteen year olds don't look 15. Jeez, she's not 9. Link to post Share on other sites
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