somedude81 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Does one have to have actually tried to kill themselves to be suicidal or is the mere thought of it enough? Does it matter if there are no plans but just the desire to end ones life? What about hoping that fate will just take care of it? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Does one have to have actually tried to kill themselves to be suicidal or is the mere thought of it enough? Normally the latter, but it depends how strongly the person feels..... Does it matter if there are no plans but just the desire to end ones life? That's bordering on chronic depression.... What about hoping that fate will just take care of it? Ditto. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary issue. you're fixated to the point of being so single-minded that you don't believe any other option, path or solution would be acceptable. which is ridiculous, frankly. really - when you get to the point where you're telling people this - it's time to seek professional counsel. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I've been there, and am still pretty close to it. I love my family, and don't want to hurt or leave them - they're the one good part of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 It's not worth trying to commit suicide, it can so easily go wrong, and leave you physically ****ed up and therefore worse off for the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
ptp Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) It's not worth trying to commit suicide, it can so easily go wrong, and leave you physically ****ed up and therefore worse off for the rest of your life. He speaks the truth SD. Please seek help if you are feeling this way. Everybody feels crappy now and then. It doesn't hurt to talk to somebody...it can only help. 1-800-273-8255 Edited February 23, 2012 by ptp Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Normally the latter, but it depends how strongly the person feels..... That's bordering on chronic depression.... Ditto. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary issue. you're fixated to the point of being so single-minded that you don't believe any other option, path or solution would be acceptable. which is ridiculous, frankly. really - when you get to the point where you're telling people this - it's time to seek professional counsel. Yes, to this and everything else in the thread. Depression distorts reality, SD. It's insidious and a liar, telling you things are far more hopeless than they are. It's convincing but right now, you still have a foot in reality. Take advantage of that and move to help yourself. Call the number Ptp posted, call a counselor, call someone, before you lose that footing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 One thing I need to point out is that these aren't new thoughts. It's just periods of valleys and canyons. No hills though. Though this time feels rougher than most and there isn't much to look forward to. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 One thing I need to point out is that these aren't new thoughts. It's just periods of valleys and canyons. No hills though. Though this time feels rougher than most and there isn't much to look forward to. Those canyons can get dangerously deep, SD, sometimes quickly and unexpectedly so. It's nothing to be toying with so when thoughts like this reach a point where one's posting about it, it needs to be addressed with a professional immediately. It could only help you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 When one starts hoping fate will end their otherwise healthy life, there is cause to seek counselling and medicine for depression IMO. Even the most charismatic can find depression creeping in where death seems better than facing life. Life is a wonderful privilege and as long as you're alive (and healthy), there's hope for a life of meaning and fulfillment. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 (edited) I've had a hard time trying to categorize myself as well. I'm sure I could be labelled suicidal but I know deep down I would never have the nerve to do it. An important factor, in my opinion, is that when we think to ourselves, or when we tell someone else, "I want my life to be over", I think what we really mean to say is "I wish one f'n good thing would happen" or "I wish the pain would stop" or "I want to be happy". That's how many people look at suicide anyway isn't it? A wish for the pain to stop. I can only speak for myself, some people are suicidal and really mean it, but I know I don't want to die. I guess the depression just makes me think or say things in the wrong way. All I really mean is "life sucks and where the hell are the good things that I see everyone else enjoying". So somedude81, do you really, truly, think about not wanting to spend another day on this planet, or do you really just wish things were better? I wish I could chime in with the "talk to somebody" thing but I myself gave in to going to therapy after years of telling everyone it wouldn't help me but 2 months into it... it hasn't done much. But if you really do feel terrible then at least call a friend or something. Edited February 24, 2012 by Exit Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 24, 2012 Author Share Posted February 24, 2012 I've had a hard time trying to categorize myself as well. I'm sure I could be labelled suicidal but I know deep down I would never have the nerve to do it. An important factor, in my opinion, is that when we think to ourselves, or when we tell someone else, "I want my life to be over", I think what we really mean to say is "I wish one f'n good thing would happen" or "I wish the pain would stop" or "I want to be happy". That's how many people look at suicide anyway isn't it? A wish for the pain to stop. I can only speak for myself, some people are suicidal and really mean it, but I know I don't want to die. I guess the depression just makes me think or say things in the wrong way. All I really mean is "life sucks and where the hell are the good things that I see everyone else enjoying". So somedude81, do you really, truly, think about not wanting to spend another day on this planet, or do you really just wish things were better? I wish I could chime in with the "talk to somebody" thing but I myself gave in to going to therapy after years of telling everyone it wouldn't help me but 2 months into it... it hasn't done much. But if you really do feel terrible then at least call a friend or something. You got it. But after my life sucking for so long, I don't have any hope that it will ever get better. And if that's the case, then what's the point? Why live to be old if you're miserable? Link to post Share on other sites
Meeks7 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 You got it. But after my life sucking for so long, I don't have any hope that it will ever get better. And if that's the case, then what's the point? Why live to be old if you're miserable? Because you can always change. Your thinking/mindset, at least. If you're dead, 0% chance you change. If you're alive, there's always a chance, no matter how small, it's still better than 0 percent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 Wow, I completely hate myself. I just realized that I don't if I get hurt and I do things to punish myself for being a loser. Nobody really cares about me aside from my parents and even then they don't show too much concern. It's really pathetic that my family are the only people who know I exist. There is nothing in this world that gives me joy. All I do is try to pass the time. It's like I'm waiting. For what? I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Your school probably has a free counselor you can speak to about this. You need to talk to a person in real life about this and not just hate yourself on the internet. You have everything and all this pain is all lin your head. You don't need to hate yourself. Find some one you can talk to in person about this stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Does one have to have actually tried to kill themselves to be suicidal or is the mere thought of it enough? Does it matter if there are no plans but just the desire to end ones life? What about hoping that fate will just take care of it? If the thoughts are daily and consistant and one feels bad most of the time, then it's time to get help asap. Depression can get worse if untreated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 Your school probably has a free counselor you can speak to about this. You need to talk to a person in real life about this and not just hate yourself on the internet. You have everything and all this pain is all lin your head. You don't need to hate yourself. Find some one you can talk to in person about this stuff. Do you realize how full of crap that is? I have everything and the pain is just in my head. Nice job completely making lite of what is going on in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
VirileEntity Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Depression distorts reality, SD. It's insidious and a liar, telling you things are far more hopeless than they are. It's convincing but right now, you still have a foot in reality. Do you think it goes both ways, to an extent? We often tend to exaggerate memories in our minds, right? Whenever we think about good times from the past, we often tend to think of those times as greater than they actually were, distorting reality in a different way? Sorry if I've derailed the thread. Not my intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 Are you saying that I may be exaggerating how bad things are in my life and that my reality is distorted? Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Are you saying that I may be exaggerating how bad things are in my life and that my reality is distorted? So what are the bad things and your version of reality? Are you sure it is not seasonal depression? Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 OP, have you been proactive in contacting/seeing a therapist? What about reading self-help books... Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 So what are the bad things and your version of reality? Are you sure it is not seasonal depression? Right now it's the powerful belief that nobody cares about me. I've felt this way for time, but the feelings have recently gotten stronger. Then it's the typical I hate myself because I can't get a GF that I've been carrying around since I was 16. I don't think it's seasonal. I'm always depressed, but there are times when I feel more normal. Though one thing is that I might read something on this forum that makes me feel jealous or like a loser and that just makes me plummet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 OP, have you been proactive in contacting/seeing a therapist? What about reading self-help books... I've seen a few therapists over the years. They've never been able to do anything more than make me feel a little better simply because they were somebody to talk to. I've half-read a lot of self-help books. What I need can't be found in a book or just willed into existence by my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Have you gotten out of the house, work out, increase your physical activity, get yourself checked, seek the help line, or considered taking anti-depression drugs? What did your therapists suggest? Books go so far, talking goes so far, posting on LS goes so far. Don't let LS get to you, it is really a micro-community. I'll be honest, LS can be depressing and what you read may revive old wounds. You have to develop resiliency and shake things off. Not everyone can do that and it takes time. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I've seen a few therapists over the years. They've never been able to do anything more than make me feel a little better simply because they were somebody to talk to. I've half-read a lot of self-help books. That's good! Please don't be offended by me saying this, but you NEED to continue seeing a therapist because if you suffer from chronic depression, proper management of it is a lifetime commitment. Sure, sometimes you'll go through periods of not going, not wanting to go, etc. But, if you're having 'suicidal thoughts' that should be a pretty BIG indicator, that it is not being properly managed and that too much time has lapsed in-between not going... The thing with depression, is that suffers have a habit of living inside of their own head and just swirling around in it, with no direction. You want to keep pushing forward and moving up the mountain, not downwards. Here is an example: What I need can't be found in a book or just willed into existence by my mind. If that 'state of existence' is 'happy' for you, then stay in it... Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Wow, I completely hate myself. I just realized that I don't if I get hurt and I do things to punish myself for being a loser. Nobody really cares about me aside from my parents and even then they don't show too much concern. It's really pathetic that my family are the only people who know I exist. There is nothing in this world that gives me joy. All I do is try to pass the time. It's like I'm waiting. For what? I don't know. See the bolded part. It is true that for most people no one knows they are alive or cares about how they feel. That's something we have to get ourselves righted with. Many people find comfort in religion where they convince themselves that there's a god who has nothing else to do but monitor their thoughts, others believe they have a "guardian angel or fairy god mother, or that a dead ancestor is looking out for them. None of that is true because if it were true we would be living in a world of no progress at all where people spend all their time trying to influence super-nature to customize their reality for them just like they did thousands of years ago before some folks got off their knees and started trying to do what they can with what they could find. We ARE TOTALLY ALONE. And even as a confirmed atheist there are many times I forget that it's a wonder why I exist, that my family carries on and we don't think "at whose leisure do we exist". This probably isn't cheering you up any but let me assure you that you can face this and find new power and motivation in it. I for instance started going to every after work presentation or meeting that had to do with emerging technologies starting in the late 1980's. It led to me becoming swept into a position of great access to the United Nations where I learned a view of the world I would never have gotten if I were just sitting around. I was able to supplement my income by producing newsletters for 5 NGOs and meeting many people from whom I developed a new view of my identity and what I might be able to bring to the world as a legacy. It's what keeps me going today. I only had my brush with suicidal thoughts when I tried to give up on all that an appease my family by taking an unrelated job that turned out to be a nightmare. But after that was over, I reconnected with the self I had started to build and remain ever hopeful that I can meet someone who will want to really work with me. I joined a new club starting up this Monday called the Virginia Innovators Network and will be attending. It's a bit of a drive from where I live but it's the kind of thing that made me happy in NY where I lived before moving to VA Beach two years ago where there is not near the choice of things to do that might mean connection with people of motion. Get connected with something of purpose for yourself and own it. All the concern about being alone is just a fact that we all share that is down right hard and sad if you dwell on it. Be someone. Edited March 17, 2012 by Feelin Frisky Link to post Share on other sites
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