Ex who is now my best friend sending mixed signals!

[MsFunk]

Ok so, my best friend has been sending me mixed signals. She has been doing this since we broke up a year and a half ago.

 

We "met" on the internet back in 2010 and got into an emotional relationship that lasted a little over a month, but never actually met in person until just recently. During the past year or so since we broke up EVERY time we talked, she would always ask me when I was coming to see her or tell me that I need to come see her on the weekend ( mind you, we live in different states...I would have to fly), but she would always make a point to tell me that we would be alone while I'm there, as well as making sexual innuendo that I dare not repeat.

 

Long story short, we finally met last weekend for the first time and while we didn't have sex, she was very affectionate toward me over the weekend- she kept randomly hugging me ( her arms around my neck, mine around her waist, and during one of those hugs she kissed me on the cheek), calling me pet names, holding on to my arm when we were standing talking to her other friends. At one point during one of the evenings we were out, she asked me " Are you ready to go home?" referring to HER place...I could literally go on and on.

 

We slept in the same bed together when I was there and she even came in the bathroom while I was showering, but nothing happened. I really love this woman a lot. And I know she loves me because she told me she did as I was leaving to go back home ( mind you, that was the first time she told me she loved me since before we broke up back in 2010). Since I've been back she and I are closer than we've ever been. We have already booked future trips, one of which will be my spending the week of my spring break with her. She's made it a point to let me know that she's making a super huge exception for me because she is used to having her space and being alone, and that 3 days is her max for company... She says even her family doesn't stay longer than the max!

 

It's obvious that this is more than a platonic friendship, but I just don't understand why she won't just come out and say what she wants from me...She will initiate everything I mentioned above and then swear that we are JUST BUDDIES. She knows that I am attracted to her and she knows how I feel about her because I tell her.

 

Late last night she sent me a random text that said "I've crossed paths with my next wife, lol", but when I asked her what she was talking about she didn't give me an answer, except that she had been on the phone and was about to go to bed.

 

I can't figure her out! Is she waiting on me to make a move or what???

[Leigh 87]

I find it strange, that you slept in the same bed, and did not feel the urge to do anything sexual..

 

 

perhaps it is your age, or culture; you do not rush into sexual things, until u are sure you have strong feelings.

[MsFunk]

I find it strange, that you slept in the same bed, and did not feel the urge to do anything sexual..

 

 

perhaps it is your age, or culture; you do not rush into sexual things, until u are sure you have strong feelings.

 

I DID feel the urge...lol...and something tells me she did too.

 

The first night I was there, I fell asleep while we were sitting on the sofa together (she laid her head on my shoulder), she woke me up and told me to get in the bed, so I did. I thought that meant we were sleeping in separate rooms...When I woke up the next morning she was laying in the bed with me, but nothing happened. She told me that I must be a heavy sleeper, because when she got in the bed I didn't move.. She even asked me the next afternoon why I got up and left her on the sofa by herself the night before...I said "Because you told me to...." and told me she didn't think I was actually gonna do it ....WTF???

 

Is she waiting on me to be the one to take it "there"??? I would, but she keeps on with the "Buddies" crap...

[NoMagicBullet]

So she's your best friend, but you broke up 1.5 years ago in an online only relationship, but you're back together -- or not? You're traveling together, but are you actually dating? I'm totally confused, but you probably are too, MsFunk.

 

My guess is that she doesn't know what she wants or doesn't know how to communicate it. Do you know what you want? Have you told her what you want? I'd say it's time you both discuss your expectations for the relationship and where it goes from here.

 

On a side note, I have to say that the continual break-ups, her insisting that you come to her, and her saying she's making a huge exception -- in other words, making a big sacrifice of her precious personal time and space -- by having you around for more than 3 days does not bode well for the future. So far, it seems you just do whatever she wants; are you OK with being being treated like this? Because it sounds like she's all about herself, and you're a fun plaything for her (sex or no sex) but not much more. Honestly, she sounds like a player.