Girls fatter than online pics

[ScreamingTrees]

You must have developed skills to deal with people you find repulsive in regular daily life no? Or do you run away to another line every time you see an overweight or ugly cashier at the grocery store? I think this is really about people not wanting to be perceived as dating someone who they consider beneath them. Sitting there through the whole coffee wondering about what the person at the next table might be thinking, ahahahaha he's dating a fatty! It's a legitimate viewpoint, but I do think it's funny that people in the thread are complaining about the fat person lying while they are lying themselves about the real reason they don't want to stay.

 

Maybe they're lying, but I'm not. If someone's at an unhealthy weight, they either haven't put the effort required to actually lose weight and would find it too much of a major change in lifestyle to successfully maintain for long.

 

I've been blessed with great genetics, apparently, but unlike many skinny people who don't exercise and eat junk food, I actually exercise daily and barely eat any sweets. It's all fruits and vegetables. You sort of forget about all of the other stuff after awhile when you substitute it all for "natural" sweets - fruits. Those who take their health for granted are usually destroying it - but the damage is internal, you don't see it for awhile so you assume there's no harm done.. ha.

 

If they have terrible genes and they're pre-disposed to being overweight, that's another equally valid reason not to bother with them - I don't want my kids to have that sort of pre-disposition. I wouldn't want to be born into that situation. Let them find their equal; another person who would rather blame everything but themselves for where and who they are in life regardless of how "difficult" it is. Major change rarely happens overnight, be it physical or mental. A strong willed person will find a way to get to where they want to be, regardless of how long and how many baby steps it takes.

 

Maybe this is a terrible way of thinking? I don't know. I don't apologize for thinking you get out of life what you put in. People shouldn't be surprised that they end up like that.

[Oxy Moronovich]

LOL, what's wrong with that logic? Come on, I want to hear you actually tell me what is wrong with that logic.

 

Am I saying he had to be attracted to her or date her? No.

Picture this scenario: you meet a man, become attracted to him, but after sex he ditches you. He says, "Sorry, I just wanted sex. I found you a rather boring person and I only pretended to like you so I could bang you and leave." Do you say, "Oh well. We all lie. I guess I shouldn't judge him since I've lied myself"?

 

Or this scenario: you get into a relationship with a man, but later on your sex life comes to a halt. You find out he watches porn. His explanation, "I lied when I said I was too tired to have sex with you. The truth is I've lost interest and lately I'd prefer to watch porn than be intimate with you." Do you think, "Oh well. We all lie. I shouldn't judge him since I lie myself"?

 

Yes, real good logic.

[boaaaar]

LOL, what's wrong with that logic? Come on, I want to hear you actually tell me what is wrong with that logic.

There is a difference between telling a white lie for social convenience and lying to gain an advantage at the expense of others. I can't say I've never lied at all, but I am sure fit enough to judge people who use deceit like the woman did.

 

Here is an example to show you what's seriously wrong with your logic : Have you ever commited _any_ act of physical violence against somebody ? If yes, according to your way of reasoning, you have no right to judge somebody who just Mike-Tysoned somebody else no matter what

[mesmerized]

I have never lied about anything. I admit freely that I don't want to date or interact or have to talk with an unattractive or overweight person. I have the prerogative not too; it's a free country.

 

Ever woman or man retains the right to not want to be perceived as dating someone beneath them. There is no moral code that says it is wrong to do so. I live by my own moral codes; I would not murder or steal but not wanting to be seen with someone unattractive doesn't make me lose sleep one damn bit. I see nothing wrong with it.

 

You sound very immature, I don't know if you realize that. How old are you? And let me share a little true story with you. A family member of mine was like you. She cut unattractive people's pictures out of her wedding pictures...Years later her face burned when her place got on fire. Even her own kids were afraid to look at her, it was horrible. Karma can be a bitch!

 

It's perfectly fine to not want to date an unattractive guy, I personally only would date a fit guy. But your attitude seems to be about more than that. Well missy, guess what, your beauty fades pretty soon or you might lose it all in just one incident. Then you'll have some fun being treated like you treat people now.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Calling someone "missy" is a reportable offense? Wow, who knew.

[mesmerized]

I'm in my thirties and look like I'm in my twenties. Don't call me MISSY btw, who are YOU to call me MISSY? That is rude and probably a reportable offense; I consider it a direct insult.

 

Last time I checked it was against LS rules to directly insult another member.

 

So? Just because you look younger doesn't mean you will always look young. Give it a few years.

 

Wow, you take anything as an insult, don't you? I didn't say mean to insult you with that word but I can tell you I can't see any man tolerating your attitude for long term. I'd personally run and never look back.

[ascendotum]

And let me share a little true story with you. A family member of mine was like you. She cut unattractive people's pictures out of her wedding pictures...Years later her face burned when her place got on fire. Even her own kids were afraid to look at her, it was horrible. Karma can be a bitch!

Gee she had issues. As you said karma, now what's on the outside matches what shes like on the insdie, but I but she's changed her tune, when it comes to not wanting to be seen with someone unattractive.

(though its not exact parable of the OPs situation, it does hit with a few comment that have been made here)

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's the equivalent of calling a grown man "Hey BOY"; it's a way to patronize and insult someone. It is inappropriate to call an ADULT "Missy".

\

 

Well, to be fair, she said you sounded immature in your posts and you hadn't yet told her how old you are. She might have mistaken you for a 14 or 15 year old. Now that she knows you're practically middle aged () I'm sure she'll refrain from using the horribly insulting "Missy" on you again.

[anne1707]

Hmm. The last time I saw somebody get so upset over something like this was when they got called "Miss" in a shop and they wanted to be called "Ma'am" (or maybe it was the other way round). Either way, it was all rather silly and childish. Seem to remember that poster was banned not longer after that....

[Mme. Chaucer]

I am a size 00 and frequently get mistaken as a 20 year old; I don't have the "fatty" complex and insecurities that many women apparently have in this thread. I guess they can really relate to the fat woman who got rejected by the OP.

 

Did anyone ask you your size? Personally, I don't care at all what size clothes you wear, and I think it's pretty weird that you would think that any strangers from an online forum would.

 

Some of us, regardless of the size clothes we are wearing, have good manners, were well raised, have class and don't treat people like trash no matter what size they are.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Hmm. The last time I saw somebody get so upset over something like this was when they got called "Miss" in a shop and they wanted to be called "Ma'am" (or maybe it was the other way round). Either way, it was all rather silly and childish. Seem to remember that poster was banned not longer after that....

 

Exactly what I was thinking. Maybe we can talk a little about whoremongers soon?

[mesmerized]

I am a size 00 and frequently get mistaken as a 20 year old; I don't have the "fatty" complex and insecurities that many women apparently have in this thread. I guess they can really relate to the fat woman who got rejected by the OP.

 

Meh, I know more men that would reject a short small girl like you than they would me.

 

I think the way you are full of yourself is rather funny. I guess your maturity matches your body size more than your age.

[verhrzn]

Maybe they're lying, but I'm not. If someone's at an unhealthy weight, they either haven't put the effort required to actually lose weight and would find it too much of a major change in lifestyle to successfully maintain for long.

 

I've been blessed with great genetics, apparently, but unlike many skinny people who don't exercise and eat junk food, I actually exercise daily and barely eat any sweets. It's all fruits and vegetables. You sort of forget about all of the other stuff after awhile when you substitute it all for "natural" sweets - fruits. Those who take their health for granted are usually destroying it - but the damage is internal, you don't see it for awhile so you assume there's no harm done.. ha.

 

If they have terrible genes and they're pre-disposed to being overweight, that's another equally valid reason not to bother with them - I don't want my kids to have that sort of pre-disposition. I wouldn't want to be born into that situation. Let them find their equal; another person who would rather blame everything but themselves for where and who they are in life regardless of how "difficult" it is. Major change rarely happens overnight, be it physical or mental. A strong willed person will find a way to get to where they want to be, regardless of how long and how many baby steps it takes.

 

Maybe this is a terrible way of thinking? I don't know. I don't apologize for thinking you get out of life what you put in. People shouldn't be surprised that they end up like that.

 

I find it hilarious that you credit your success to your good genes, and then in nearly the very same sentence admonish people who aren't as "strong" as you for not changing to what you think they should be. It is rather sad when people pass character judgement ("a strong-willed person," "haven't put in the effort) on others without having any idea of the other person's life or circumstances.

 

Either way, not a single person who is admonishing the OP is saying he needed to date the fat girl. Just that he needed to be polite to her.... ya know, not fleeing from the restaurant in terror that the girl looked different from her photos.

 

Or do you believe that fat people, with their "weak" character traits and disgusting bodies, shouldn't be shown decent courtesy and respect owed to another human being?

[joystickd]

Funny how this guy gets jumped on for what he did. Women do the same thing but no one gets on them about it.

[J322Y]

I find it hilarious that you credit your success to your good genes, and then in nearly the very same sentence admonish people who aren't as "strong" as you for not changing to what you think they should be. It is rather sad when people pass character judgement ("a strong-willed person," "haven't put in the effort) on others without having any idea of the other person's life or circumstances.

 

Either way, not a single person who is admonishing the OP is saying he needed to date the fat girl. Just that he needed to be polite to her.... ya know, not fleeing from the restaurant in terror that the girl looked different from her photos.

 

Or do you believe that fat people, with their "weak" character traits and disgusting bodies, shouldn't be shown decent courtesy and respect owed to another human being?

 

I agree with your points about people with weight issues. I've been fit and thin all of my life, but I can't say it's from any discipline on my part. If it was about discipline for me I would probably have a weight problem. I assume I have just as many "issues" as any heavy person, but most of mine don't show on the outside.

 

Having said that; I think courtesy and respect can be reserved for people who show the same to you. I'm a big fan of mutual respect. I don't know if the girl in question misrepresented herself, but if she did then she brought this upon herself. Honesty is sacred.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Funny how this guy gets jumped on for what he did. Women do the same thing but no one gets on them about it.

 

I would, any day.

[xxoo]

What disconcerting information? That she is a human being?

 

Disconcerting that she put up presumably old photos, where she was considerably thinner.

 

It would be like walking in to find a man with a considerably receding hairline, when all of his photos showed him with a full head of hair. Or a man with an aged face, when the photos and profile showed him to be 25.

 

I would think any of these people were "not quite right". I'd go out with a bald guy, or a 40 year old guy, but would be very wary of a guy who couldn't recognize that he'd aged, or lost hair, and presented himself online as if he had not. I can understand how the OP might have felt uncomfortable, and put in the awkward position of pretending nothing is wrong, when clearly something is.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'd go out with a bald guy, or a 40 year old guy,

 

:eek:

 

Does your husband know?!?!?!

 

(I'm kidding …)

[Professor X]

I would, any day.

 

RAWR!

 

Injured Mme. Chaucer is ferocious.

[RedRobin]

Those skilled in human relations understand the difference between honesty and cruelty.

 

I'm curious about something... how much did the parking cost?

[ScreamingTrees]

I find it hilarious that you credit your success to your good genes, and then in nearly the very same sentence admonish people who aren't as "strong" as you for not changing to what you think they should be. It is rather sad when people pass character judgement ("a strong-willed person," "haven't put in the effort) on others without having any idea of the other person's life or circumstances.

 

Either way, not a single person who is admonishing the OP is saying he needed to date the fat girl. Just that he needed to be polite to her.... ya know, not fleeing from the restaurant in terror that the girl looked different from her photos.

 

Or do you believe that fat people, with their "weak" character traits and disgusting bodies, shouldn't be shown decent courtesy and respect owed to another human being?

 

I don't totally credit my success to my "good genes", I said I don't take them for granted if I happen to have them. You think I didn't work for all that I have? You think I sit on my ass all day and do nothing and then blame others who can't get anywhere despite trying? I simply don't see how that's possible. Either way, I'm not going to stop living the lifestyle I live just to see if it really is good genes or if I'd just always been on top of things. It doesn't matter, we all do what we have to to survive. I eat well and exercise because I want to live, when all is said and done

 

- I mean, I'm sure not everyone is as blessed as this guy genetically to be able to lose 400 lbs. as easily as he gained it, but hell, if he can do it.. If the doctor told you that it was do or die to lose a mere 50 lbs.. You'd just accept your fate because of your metabolism?

 

I don't believe anyone is naturally owed anything out of life. Does that mean I treat people differently? No. I'll take my jacket off and lay it over a puddle for any woman, regardless of how she looks. You'd be surprised, people of all perceived levels of attractiveness can be very cruel for whatever reason. Without thinking, I could do nice gestures only for them to not even acknowledge me.. A bit disheartening, but I still do it. I love people, but I don't understand how it's so impossible to change so that you don't die at 50 of a heart attack. I've got more of a George Carlin attitude.

 

I never directly stated that every overweight individual fits into that category. You sort of insinuated that from my post. Just like one would be more likely to believe that they can't help it rather than that they can. Regardless, is that going to make me more physically attracted to them? No. I'd treat them with kindness either way, but I can't change my attraction.

 

"Fat girl"? I guess you must see such a person as lesser yourself, to be so casually condescending.

 

You yourself are not overweight anyway, nor are you anywhere close to obese. Why do you care? I've seen your pictures, you're pretty damn skinny, at least to me. You look more like the left side of this comparison. You can't tell me that a person can naturally look like the lady on the right and be totally healthy.

 

You say that you work out but you're still "fat".. are you kidding me? You aren't fat, you're not even chubby. The exercises obviously have been effective in keeping you in shape, so it's not as if your efforts are being wasted.. There might be people out there who are immune to exercise, but you're obviously not one of them.

 

Your REAL problem is your neurotic thinking and your body dysmorphic disorder, not the fact that you're... "fat"... and.... "gross"... I've been in your shoes, I can relate. It's hard to change, you were traumatized at some point in your life and now the defense mechanisms that originally helped you to avoid that are working against you..

Edited February 27, 2012 by ScreamingTrees

[verhrzn]

I agree with your points about people with weight issues. I've been fit and thin all of my life, but I can't say it's from any discipline on my part. If it was about discipline for me I would probably have a weight problem. I assume I have just as many "issues" as any heavy person, but most of mine don't show on the outside.

 

Having said that; I think courtesy and respect can be reserved for people who show the same to you. I'm a big fan of mutual respect. I don't know if the girl in question misrepresented herself, but if she did then she brought this upon herself. Honesty is sacred.

 

But as several people in this thread have posted out, we don't know that she deliberately lied. People's perception of themselves can be very strange... we look in the mirror and see A, and somebody else looks at us and sees B. The woman might have looked at her photographs and gone," Well I've gained a little weight, but not enough to be noticeable." And maybe to people who know her, it ISN'T noticeable. But to a stranger, it'd be immediately apparent. Does that mean she lied? No, it meant she's just like the rest of us.

 

I'm on a fitness plan, and as part of the plan, each of us is supposed to take a photo of ourselves once a week. The reason for this is that we often don't notice the changes in our own bodies, positive or negative. Sometimes you can't even tell by comparing your Week 1 photo to what you see in the mirror (because a photo is a 2-D representation of a 3-D object.) It isn't until you put the photos of past and present next to each other that you go," Whoa!"

 

In other words, the only way this woman might have noticed her weight gain is if she took a current photo of herself and compared the two.

 

Weight can actually be a much more difficult thing to judge change in than, say, age or a receding hair line. That's WHY fitness plans tell you to take pictures, or find more accurate ways to track your progress.

[ScreamingTrees]

Well, I'll admit, I could've sworn that the OP was different from what I'd read after reading the other pages, so I can understand. It could've been a simple misunderstanding. It was a pretty ****ty, cowardly thing to do on his part, as if he couldn't waste 15 minutes just talking to her if he was that bothered by her "lie"..

 

He should've felt her out, and asked her about it in as respectful a way as possible. She might be a bit sensitive to it, but c'mon, it's a blatant misrepresentation of her appearance, whether consciously realized or not, malicious or innocent.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

He should've felt her out, and asked her about it in as respectful a way as possible.

 

:laugh:

 

That's funny!

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Oxy Moronovich

Honestly, I've looked back to try to find it. And I can't find you stating anywhere what you think the OP should have done instead of running away. Can you tell me what he should have done instead of running away?

 

I'm baffled right now Oxy. I went back and read my posts. All of them make a suggestion about what I think he should have done.