xztjohn Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 (edited) i was with my ex for a year and a half i thot she was the most sweetest and most caring person i know. but when we broke up she turned to thia new person who was a liar, evil, manipulative, selfish, weak individual who is free with her body and got manipulated by her own male roommate who wanted to get in her pants. he took advantage of the situation (i dumped her first and wanted to get back) and he manipulated her to break up with m because he wanted her. best thing i could do is just focus on myself and let time run its course right? im going with no contact at this point, its been 2 months now since we spoke, with her contacting me twice. a part of me is bitter abou it all, i know i should forgive and forget but a part of me wants karma to happen. Edited February 24, 2012 by xztjohn Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 The person's true colors are there. It just takes a breakup to help remove the rose colored glasses and allow you to see this person for what they are. But focus on their true colors from the relationship in the past without the bias... as the current actions may be exaggerated because they too are hurting and trying to find their way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Life Person Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I had this same feeling after my ex of 4 years broke up with me for someone else. Like Philosoraptor said, I think a big part of it is due to us seeing the person we are with many times as near-faultless, which obviously they are not. That's a trap I hope not to fall the next time, I hope I've learned from it - in fact, given that during our relationship I was usually the most needy of the two and the one who started most of the fights, I started thinking I was the one who was unbalanced - she's the one who ended cheating on me with a friend and broke it off without giving me a chance (and is now leaving breadcrumbs along the way...). Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 i was with my ex for a year and a half i thot she was the most sweetest and most caring person i know. but when we broke up she turned to thia new person who was a liar, evil, manipulative, selfish, weak individual who is free with her body and got manipulated by her own male roommate who wanted to get in her pants. he took advantage of the situation (i dumped her first and wanted to get back) and he manipulated her to break up with m because he wanted her. best thing i could do is just focus on myself and let time run its course right? im going with no contact at this point, its been 2 months now since we spoke, with her contacting me twice. a part of me is bitter abou it all, i know i should forgive and forget but a part of me wants karma to happen. Who broke up with whom first? It sounds that you broke up with her and she was hurt. People do these kind of things when they are hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 i broke up with her first. i think i wanted a break if anything. but thats no excuse tho. she broke up with me and i did not do any of the evil things she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 So true I did everything right, yet got basically shat on by my ex. Even though I did nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Maybe because it takes more maturity to cope with properly, than most of life's events. It is almost like a crucible of maturity, losing someone you love and handling with tact, and not crass. Whatever the reason, or combination of reasons is, without a doubt breakups can make you see a side of a person you never expected, you never knew before. My ex was quick to proclaim her love for me, right up until she dumped me. I mean it was crazy, we had a fight, talked it out, the next weekend making love, the next weekend she hates me, the next weekend we talk it out and she tells me how immensely happy she is that we did and how much she loves getting my good morning texts again, and then one more weekend later.... I don't deserve for her to ever talk to me again and absolutely attempted to tarnish my reputation with every person in town, from her own friends, to calling up MY friends to tell them how terrible I was to her. It was quite the circus for the past year. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 yeah i feel you guys, went through the same ****. hey what u guys think about this, i saw my ex for the first time in ablut 2 months we walked pass each other i just smiled at her she tried to not look but then she smiled at me after. 20 min later she txted "thanks for smiling at me :)" i chose not to respond. what u guys think that was all about? Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Last December, my ex and I came completely face to face, for first time in 8 months. I had heard many nasty stories spread by her over the past months, and the last time we were face to face she was beyond nasty. I had no idea what to expect, but braced myself for the worst. She kept walking towards me, gave me half a smile (or maybe a little more) and said hello, then after what appeared to be a quick pause at an attempt to talk, she decided to continue past me and that was that. Later on I texted her something pretty similar, which was along the lines of "thanks for the smile and the hello. after some of the things i heard last summer i didn't know what to expect, so just wanted to say it was nice to see you and a smile" I wanted her to know that I didn't have any ill feelings toward her, even though I expected that she did for me, right up until that smile. I was truly expecting another nasty incident. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 I don't know it seems just as long as it's not them that's getting hurt they don't really care at all. That is until someone actually screws them over. Then they might [but very rarely] contact you and apologize. Yet it's always far too late if they do. From my experience just as long as they look like the good guy no matter what, even if they have to lie and manipulate. They don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
JJ72 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 To the OP...why would you even get emotionally attatched to a girl w/ a MALE roomate?? You should have seen all the red flags in that situation right from the start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 we dated for a year and half and towards the end of her relationship her girl roomies decided to live with the other 4 guy, so its not like i got with her knowing that would happen. wait i dont understand ur guys posts so do u think she is pver me when she texted me that? what was her purpose for doing so? also this brings back one memory where in the early stage of our break up we slept together and i looked at her phone and i saw a text with that guy saying "my penis hurts" and she said "time for a penis massage" when i saw that that cut real deep, hurt sooo bad till this day i feel a little weird thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 fucpcg why did u text her that what was your intent? did u still have feelings for her? were u the one thatdumped her or did she dunp you? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Another thing is that everyone on here is always worried about what impression they left on their ex the last time they spoke. Yet why do these dumpers never care about when the last time they spoke to us? Especially if it was down right horrible? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 The person's true colors are there. It just takes a breakup to help remove the rose colored glasses and allow you to see this person for what they are. But focus on their true colors from the relationship in the past without the bias... as the current actions may be exaggerated because they too are hurting and trying to find their way. philo strikes again!! Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 fucpcg why did u text her that what was your intent? did u still have feelings for her? were u the one thatdumped her or did she dunp you? My love for her has not faded in the slightest since the split. She dumped me. I believe that she knows we had something special. It's a long complicated story, but what I can share in brief is that I think deep down inside she misses me and wants to be with me. After the rampage she went on last summer, I can see that she might think I have some hatred toward her, or no longer care for her, I wanted her to know that neither is true. This way she needs not fear contacting me, if she gets to the point that she wants to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 in that case why did u think she texted me after we saw each other saying "thanks for smiling at me :)" Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 in that case why did u think she texted me after we saw each other saying "thanks for smiling at me :)" Go back and read my first post! LOL I gave it to you right there. She's worried about your reaction when seeing you, and was glad it wasn't a negative one. I mean my first post discussing her passing you and texting. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 (edited) The person's true colors are there. It just takes a breakup to help remove the rose colored glasses and allow you to see this person for what they are. But focus on their true colors from the relationship in the past without the bias... as the current actions may be exaggerated because they too are hurting and trying to find their way. Great answer. My ex lashed out at me and was verbally abusive, blaming me for everything (the numerous times we broke up). I know she was frustrated, hurting and sad that things didn't work out the way we both had hoped. In time I won't remember that person. I will remember the good kind hearted person that I know she is. I was just the wrong guy for her. The right guy for her, will never see that side of her. We all have a 'bad' side. Some worse then others. For me the key going forward is focusing on my 'bad' side. I forgive my ex for any hurt she caused me. I am still hurting, but it gives me the freedom now to focus on my healing and move on slowly with my life. I am very proud of myself and how far I have come. I even finally figured out what was behind my pull - push behavior in the relationship. I am focusing on it not being an issue in the future, if I am lucky enough to meet the right girl. I have no doubt in my mind, that I will be an awesome partner in future. You will too, providing you focus on you and not her. Forgive her mate. Philo's answer is spot on. Instead of focusing on her behaviour. Focus on yours. That is the key to future success.. Edited February 26, 2012 by Mack05 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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