soserious1 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Just look at this thread where somebody said he had five friends get cheated on and look at the other posts. Can you blame a guy for being paranoid after reading this stuff? Not one but five. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/3856535-post34.html Woggle, let's say that you are 100 % correct here, that women are behaving like faithless sluts in droves, what exactly do you want us to do about it? I didn't like marriage, my experiences taught me that the liabilities of marriage were not offset by any positive benefits for me. I have made the choice to avoid any sort of committed relationship. If men feel "paranoid" and "wary" about commitment and marriage then all I can advise is that they do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 question: if the state of things between men and women is so bad, why? what are some possible solutions? If it's more a situation of ' if you're a nice guy ( or woman) you'll get taken advantage of, used, beaten down and just generally cr@pped upon" then it's not really an issue of men vs. women but more a reflection of the overall decay of feeling one should be decent and respectful towards their fellow human beings, and to give them the decency, kindness and respect that we desire for ourselves. what is the solution for that? I have no idea. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 The solution is to gripe about it all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Just look at this thread where somebody said he had five friends get cheated on and look at the other posts. Can you blame a guy for being paranoid after reading this stuff? Not one but five. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/3856535-post34.html woggle... I got cheated on...so have several women I know "in real life" and more than just a few who post on here. Should I extrapolate from this that all men are sleazy @sses who are just out for a quick roll in the hay no matter who they hurt? Of course not.... there are people who are just jerks, and their gender really has nothing to do with it...they'd be a jerk whether they were a man or a woman 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Just look at this thread where somebody said he had five friends get cheated on and look at the other posts. Can you blame a guy for being paranoid after reading this stuff? Not one but five. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/3856535-post34.html When I was in my 20s, I had a list of female friends who've had been cheated on, too. I don't hear about that so much now that I'm older. Not sure if it is not happening, or I am just not hearing about it. And then, there is the question of why married men go to strip clubs....which, of course, many do.....the clubs are full of them. Women's behavior is no worse than men's. Maybe not better, but certainly no worse. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 woggle... I got cheated on...so have several women I know "in real life" and more than just a few who post on here. Should I extrapolate from this that all men are sleazy @sses who are just out for a quick roll in the hay no matter who they hurt? Of course not.... there are people who are just jerks, and their gender really has nothing to do with it...they'd be a jerk whether they were a man or a woman Yup azzholes come in many shapes and forms. Some swing a bat and others use a catchers mitt. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 It's very interesting how you automatically assume that the key aspect of a man being in a "committed" relationship with a woman is giving her access to his wallet. If a lot of women think this way, it just confirms Woggle's fears. Actually, there is an abundance of LS men who feel that way. I think it makes them feel - ahem - "bigger" to "take care of" a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 He didn't ask you to do anything about it. He just expressed his observation of the current state of affairs in society. You seem to have confirmed the correctness of his viewpoint. The fact remains if you are "paranoid" about relationships then you have two choices, you can either find a way to get over that or you can decide to avoid any but the most casual & superficial of relationships .. and that goes for both men and women. Guys don't have exclusive rights to being gun shy about relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 It's very interesting how you automatically assume that the key aspect of a man being in a "committed" relationship with a woman is giving her access to his wallet. If a lot of women think this way, it just confirms Woggle's fears. Actually, there are more than a few men here who complain about having to pay for dates & fear of having to pay alimony and child support is the number one reason given for why men don't want to get married. My advice stands... Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 If it does sexually empower them, or make them feel more masculine (I assume that's what you meant in your crude but quaint way of putting it), then obviously it's because they believe doing so will impress females. And it does. Obviously if they are dating a woman who believes in equality, she will insist on paying her own way, so it won't be an issue.The shallow ones would be impressed. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 And if anyone doesn't believe me, or woggle, they can please explain why soserious equated commitment on the man's part to paying for the woman's food and beverage. One would think that the man's willingness to allow a woman to freeload off of his wallet isn't a sign of commitment, but rather one of condescension. (But only if the woman doesn't really want to date the guy in the first place.) Clearly you aren't aware of soserious's story. It's the direct opposite of what you are describing. Her xH milked HER wallet for all she's worth. She's paying HIM (along with his new gf) alimony. You want to talk equality? She's your gal - she'll match you and do you one better. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Yes there are plenty of men who complain about it because of their experiences (just like Woggle). Why aren't there a lot of women complaining about having to pay for dates with men? Only because it's the women who are in position to take advantage of the lopsided expectations when it comes to this stuff. Men wouldn't have to pay for the women--in fact they wouldn't be able to pay for the women--unless women are willing to take financial advantage of them, which they are. Not wanting to pay alimony is a completely valid reason to not get married unless one is very very careful. Child support is a legal obligation regardless of getting married, if a child is produced from the relationship. Look, I'm a divorced woman who pays alimony, I have no problem with ANYBODY who decides they don't want to risk ending up in this position. I'm "paranoid" and "wary" about marriage/ committed relationships.. I have two choices, either get over it or avoid relationships.. in the end men have the same choices. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 How can you accuse woggle of being paranoid when it happend to you, too? You are missing my point.. I am "paranoid" and "wary" about relationships.. I've chosen to accept this & to avoid relationships. I didn't decide to marry OTHO, Woggle has chosen to marry again. He married her.. her owes it to her to honestly level with her about his demons & try to fix them or to divorce her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 No those aren't the only two choices. You don't have to get over it or else avoid relationships. You also have the option of entering a new relationship very carefully and informed by your past experiences, which woggle has chosen to do but I guess you haven't. Woggle doesn't have to "get over it." What happened to him happened to him. And what happened to you, happened to you. And I might add if you were so burned by your prior marriage that you're "paranoid" about a new relationship, you haven't really "gotten over" anything. I have made a very deliberate choice, I don't want to "get over" anything,it's not worth the work or effort. I'm happy being single with the freedoms that come along with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 You are missing my point.. I am "paranoid" and "wary" about relationships.. I've chosen to accept this & to avoid relationships. I didn't decide to marry OTHO, Woggle has chosen to marry again. He married her.. her owes it to her to honestly level with her about his demons & try to fix them or to divorce her. I have no doubt that she is already aware of his demons. And (from what I can tell from his relatively recent posts here) he IS trying to fix them. What I don't understand is why so many posters here want to shut him down, get him to stop talking about them. What's it to you (general you) anyway?? I say, let him talk about it all he wants. He's got just as much of a right as the rest of us to post about stuff that's on his mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I have no doubt that she is already aware of his demons. And (from what I can tell from his relatively recent posts here) he IS trying to fix them. What I don't understand is why so many posters here want to shut him down, get him to stop talking about them. What's it to you (general you) anyway?? I say, let him talk about it all he wants. He's got just as much of a right as the rest of us to post about stuff that's on his mind. He's got every right to post what's on his mind & we have every right to let him know what we think about it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 He has been honest to her. It's hypocritical for you to judge him and his "demons" when you haven't even dealt with yours. He has chosen to bravely put his heart out there one more time after being damaged by bad women and he found a loving wife as a result. You now resort to having random sex buddies as a result of your divorce, and only see men as sex toys. I hardly think you can be a perfect judge of character when it comes to setting someone straight. At least SS is honest about it. Woggle says his W doesn't know his severe level of hatred for women in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 People have the right to express their opinion about it and never once have I reported anybody to the mods for speaking their mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 He has been honest to her. It's hypocritical for you to judge him and his "demons" when you haven't even dealt with yours. He has chosen to bravely put his heart out there one more time after being damaged by bad women and he found a loving wife as a result. You now resort to having random sex buddies as a result of your divorce, and only see men as sex toys. I hardly think you can be a perfect judge of character when it comes to setting someone straight. Neither Woggle's wife OR his therapist have a clue about about the massive amount of time he devotes to hunting the internet looking for proof that his wife is going to burn him just like he's been burned before. And yeah, I have sex with random consensual sex partners .. seems a lot more honest than marrying some guy and then spending my days looking for proof that he's scum, just like the one I divorced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 And let''s face facts...what I am hearing about soserious's experience makes her an example of the man bites dog story--a reversal of the typical situation, which is typically the man is the higher earner and gets burned for huge alimony in a divorce. Were a man who got divorced under similar circumstances to so serious--you know the more usual way it happens--and responded by dedicating himself to un-serious relationships which are just sex, and swearing off marriage, it's likely the same cohort jumping down Woggle's neck would be accusing such a man of "misogyny." Only if he was lying to get women in the sack. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 IObviously if they are dating a woman who believes in equality, she will insist on paying her own way, so it won't be an issue. Really? That's obvious? I believe in equality, but nonetheless, sometimes I buy something for another person and sometimes something is bought for me. I guess I'm just super evolved that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hey! Just as I mentioned earlier in this thread, or maybe in one of the many other identical ones … here comes the contingent of women haters out of the woodwork, summoned by their boy Woggle. Have a good time, and play nice together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 And let''s face facts...what I am hearing about soserious's experience makes her an example of the man bites dog story--a reversal of the typical situation, which is typically the man is the higher earner and gets burned for huge alimony in a divorce. Were a man who got divorced under similar circumstances to so serious--you know the more usual way it happens--and responded by dedicating himself to un-serious relationships which are just sex, and swearing off marriage, it's likely the same cohort jumping down Woggle's neck would be accusing such a man of "misogyny." Well, they won't be hearing that from me. I am very honest with men that I bed, I don't lead them on & am brutally frank about my intentions. If a marriage wary man conducts himself in the same way nobody's got a right to call him anything. Oh and I know a lot more divorced mothers struggling to rear kids solo with scant support than I do men paying big money alimony. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 If the genders were reversed, and it was Woggle instead of yourself behaving as you describe, the same cohort who has been critical of him in this thread would accuse him of being a rank misogynist, a bitter divorced man seeking only to take advantage of helpless innocent naive females for his sexual gratification. Fairness dictates that you gratefully accept the appellation of misandrist or "bitter man-hater." okay, fine I'm a bitter man hater.. lol, I get the sex, don't have to do their laundry or pay their bills & that works for me Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 This comment was not only predictable, I actually predicted. See earlier in the thread where I noted that any man behaving as soserious does would be labeled a misogynist. In actuality, any man who simply makes discussion points in a thread in support of Woggle's point is automatically a misogynist. The double standard is plain as day, it is here in this thread, and it fully supports Woggle's point. I don't lie to prospective sex partners about my intentions or about my attitudes about relationships, I deliberately seek out partners who also desire to avoid any sort of committed relationship. I hurt nobody by engaging in consensual activities with like minded adults Link to post Share on other sites
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