Is marriage on it's deathbed?

[Woggle]

It's good to be proud of your accomplishments, but it isn't because of your distrust of women. It's just because YOU DID IT! And now you have a wonderful woman to share it with. DON'T F IT UP!

 

Then why did everything else just take off after my divorce when I finally decided to stop being a victim?

[donnamaybe]

Then why did everything else just take off after my divorce when I finally decided to stop being a victim?

That was a change in YOU. YOU did the things it took to get where you are. There wasn't some hateful woman standing by being denied while you did so. You just focused on what you wanted. Are you saying your wife is going to ruin everything you've worked for because she has boobs and a vagina?

[Mme. Chaucer]

My boobs and vagina lay waste to everything in their path. RAWR.

[bentnotbroken]

My boobs and vagina lay waste to everything in their path. RAWR.

:lmao::lmao:...........

[musemaj11]

Actually, the latest stats say divorces are have been going down for several years now.

Of course divorce rate is going down. There are far less married people today than there were in the past! DUH

 

Yes rich people can just "cuddle up" with their money at night and watch TV. No need for a commitment to anyone or anything except their money.

A rich man is a lot less likely to be sitting at home watching TV alone than a broke man.

 

And as I said, a happy long term relationship is achievable without marriage. George Clooney is probably happier than Brad Pitt. He is free to jump from one woman to another whenever he wants without losing his house and half his bank account and its up to him whether he wants to pursue long or short term relationship.

[donnamaybe]

Of course divorce rate is going down. There are far less married people today than there were in the past! DUH

 

 

A rich man is a lot less likely to be sitting at home watching TV alone than a broke man.

 

And as I said, a happy long term relationship is achievable without marriage. George Clooney is probably happier than Brad Pitt. He is free to jump from one woman to another whenever he wants without losing his house and half his bank account and its up to him whether he wants to pursue long or short term relationship.

 

George Clooney the commitment phobe?

 

I have explained to my children the difference between fleeting, superficial joys and a deep down satisfaction and true life happiness. Even my 17 year old gets it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I think we'll have to excuse the fantasies of a fellow who, himself, just sits around home all day by himself spinning fantasies about what women are like and how celebrities live.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Most of us who end up angry with him have reached out to him on a personal level and basically been dismissed or ignored.

He's not talking about "ALL women," but women are guilty until proven innocent. And, he often says "MOST women."

I don't have much more patience when DY or NN do it with their feelings about men, but they are nowhere near as relentless as this guy.

Also, I'm sure you know, I can't stand it when such things are directed at racial groups or nationalities. I've said it before - if some white guy who had been beaten up and robbed by black guys came here over, and over, and over citing nasty posts by individual black people and stuff on the Internet about misdeeds done by black people to "prove" the basic horribleness of black people, I would be just as horrified. Especially if he kept it up for years. And years. And maybe was married to a black person himself. And had made connections with black people on the Internet and in real life.

Nope. Wouldn't tolerate it well at all.

 

That is actually a pretty good analogy. I can honestly say that I would provide a certain amount of understanding and compassion to someone in that situation. In particular because I was jumped and beaten by a group of 6 black guys in 2010. Several were football players for the local university team. I don't hold a grudge against all black people for that... but I know that I was targeted because of my race. The greatest frustration from that was having the police threaten to jail me if I tried to file a report.

 

Woggle in particular shows growth. I'm not sure how long you have been around here... but I've been on LS off and on since 2006... I've seen the change.

 

I know some of you have reached out personally and feel like his lack of change is a slap to the face... but from my perspective I can see a good amount of change. I know its frustrating when change is slow... like watching grass grow, but please don't give up.

 

It's human nature to respond in anger to these situations, which creates an angry response... ect. Respond consistently with kindness and over time you will make a true impact.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

I know some of you have reached out personally and feel like his lack of change is a slap to the face... but from my perspective I can see a good amount of change.

 

I don't feel that the lack of change is a slap in the face. The slap in the face comes from the refusal to "engage" about this subject on any level except for his very specific one.

 

If any woman here says something to him along the lines of, "I was raped by my stepfather when I was 12, and then married a serial cheater. Now I am able to enjoy a happy and healthy marriage with a wonderful man," his rejoinder will be along the lines of,

 

"I'm sure that some women can be faithful, but can you blame me for my lack of faith in women when I read something like (insert bogus tabloid muckraking here) in the Daily Mail?"

 

Can you see how dismissive this is?

 

A woman who shares something like this is not trying to "prove" anything to Woggle; she is trying to connect with him on a human level and find common ground for communication.

 

And who are we to say he has to change? We do have some grounds for complaint, though, when he unceasingly uses our common place, LoveShack, for just plain denigrating women and marriage.

 

We know what he thinks, and he is free to think that. Buy why continue to beat us all over the head with it, including the stupid "proof"?

 

No marriage can fail, no woman can be a scumbag, no people can legitimately "grow apart" without it potentially showing up here as "proof" that women on the whole are satanic.

 

I guess every time he trots something like this out, it might be a good idea to counter with posts about the atrocities of Idi Amin to "prove" what men are like. That would be appropriate.

[Woggle]

I have shown empathy towards women who have been in bad situations. In the other thread I was telling people to lay off of Negative Nancy because I am sure there are things that happened to her that make her feel that way.

 

What gets me is when men are shown no empathy or when they act like innocent men deserved to be treated like crap as just payback for the actions of other men like when women have a you go girl attitude towards women that cheat. It reminds me of the time my ex damn near had a cheering section when she was trying to screw me over.

[bentnotbroken]

I have shown empathy towards women who have been in bad situations. In the other thread I was telling people to lay off of Negative Nancy because I am sure there are things that happened to her that make her feel that way.

 

What gets me is when men are shown no empathy or when they act like innocent men deserved to be treated like crap as just payback for the actions of other men like when women have a you go girl attitude towards women that cheat. It reminds me of the time my ex damn near had a cheering section when she was trying to screw me over.

 

 

That's the point "YOUR" ex had a cheering section while trying to screw "YOU" over. The operative words being Your and You. Other women aren't YOUR ex and other men aren't YOU. Shyt happens to all of us. I am supposed to be angry and suspicious of every white person that I come into contact with? Am I supposed to assume they are all plotting to keep the "dark" girl down. I grew up in the rural racist south...I have ever reason to generalize my experiences of racism to all white people. Not only is it unhealthy and waste of precious time and energy. Time that you cannot get back.

 

You keep speaking of the gender wars, if it is true then go fight the good fight but stop generalizing that the rest of us want any part of it.

[Woggle]

Also I don't bash marriage. I simply tell it like it is. No matter what the state of your marriage is you can't deny that it is an institution that is in deep trouble these days. It is just not working most of the time. If you admit a person is very sick it does not mean you are bashing them. It means you see things for what they are.

[Woggle]

That's the point "YOUR" ex had a cheering section while trying to screw "YOU" over. The operative words being Your and You. Other women aren't YOUR ex and other men aren't YOU. Shyt happens to all of us. I am supposed to be angry and suspicious of every white person that I come into contact with? Am I supposed to assume they are all plotting to keep the "dark" girl down. I grew up in the rural racist south...I have ever reason to generalize my experiences of racism to all white people. Not only is it unhealthy and waste of precious time and energy. Time that you cannot get back.

 

You keep speaking of the gender wars, if it is true then go fight the good fight but stop generalizing that the rest of us want any part of it.

 

Let's be honest have you had some angry moments towards whites when you hear all this animosity against Obama or all this far right stuff which is in many cases thinly veiled racism? You have never had a moment where you had to remind yourself they are not all like that? I would never judge you if you did.

 

When it seems like so many women have that you go girl mentality it makes me a bit mistrusting.

[bentnotbroken]

Let's be honest have you had some angry moments towards whites when you hear all this animosity against Obama or all this far right stuff which is in many cases thinly veiled racism? You have never had a moment where you had to remind yourself they are not all like that? I would never judge you if you did.

 

When it seems like so many women have that you go girl mentality it makes me a bit mistrusting.

 

 

I am angry at the ignorance, nothing more. Especially when his wife and children are brought into the mix. They weren't elected to anything. I don't have to remind myself that all white people aren't like that. Without whites voting for the President, he would not have been elected. Blacks are not the majority of registered voters. I mistrust individuals. Not entire groups. Why would I do to others what is done to me on a daily basis....I am better than that. I know better than that. I don't judge all alcoholics by the things my father did. I don't judge all men by what Mr. Messy did, I don't judge all women by what the OW did. These were individuals who individually brought pain into my life. Not the guy who drinks down the road, not the man who ignored my "good morning" in the grocery store and not the woman who jumped ahead of me in line. I don't want to look for issues where there are none.

[Woggle]

Of course she won't admit it, even though she tries to come off as if she doesn't. That's why she and other sexists harp on you for simply conveying your opinion.

 

I don't think she is sexist so don't bash her but I do think I am much more honest about having dark and somewhat hateful thoughts than many other people.

 

One of my closest friends is black and he is somebody who has had my back through thick and thin so I can't relate to racial animosity but the stuff I have been through with some women does give me trust issues.

[bentnotbroken]

Of course she won't admit it, even though she tries to come off as if she doesn't. That's why she and other sexists harp on you for simply conveying your opinion.

 

 

I typically don't admit to things that aren't true. Something that my parents taught me. He has every right to his opinion as you do. It is after all a free country. Convey it, but don't include the terms all or most unless you can specifically say that you know all or most. The research does say there are gender inadequacies going in both directions. Especially in the court system. Woggle tries to say that the thoughts of some women are the thoughts of all or most women. Unless he has access to some type of new finagled machine that reads and translates the inner most thoughts of women and women only then he is only "hoping" that's what women think in order to feed his obsession with the all "women like his mother and ex". He doesn't matter what he is shown to contradict those thoughts he persists in making them a main focus of view of women.

 

By the way. I appreciate your comments, it means more than you know.

[donnamaybe]

Sure. Good idea. If we all just block him (like I had to before) and don't open any of his threads, we will all be better off.

[Woggle]

So what if he persists in making it his view of women? If that's his way of seeing women then oh well. Obviously he's had some experiences with women where things didn't end nicely and he's saying how he feels. Harping on him because of his point of view only proves his point.

 

I agree. I can't see how I am being hateful in this thread. It's like you are considered a misogynist if you even say there are problems between the genders.

[bentnotbroken]

So what if he persists in making it his view of women? If that's his way of seeing women then oh well. Obviously he's had some experiences with women where things didn't end nicely and he's saying how he feels. Harping on him because of his point of view only proves his point.

 

 

Harping on him...hmmm. If my opinion about his opinion proves his point...so be it, I have no beef with that. My point is he doesn't need proof. Women are already guilty in his mind. And yes he has indeed had some horrible experiences with two of the vilest creatures on earth. That does not in anyway translate into every woman.

[Woggle]

Harping on him...hmmm. If my opinion about his opinion proves his point...so be it, I have no beef with that. My point is he doesn't need proof. Women are already guilty in his mind. And yes he has indeed had some horrible experiences with two of the vilest creatures on earth. That does not in anyway translate into every woman.

 

But I don't say it is all women. I just speak the truth about problems that exist in our society. If you spoke about the thinly veiled racism that exists in much of middle America because we have a black president would that make you anti-white?

[donnamaybe]

But I don't say it is all women. I just speak the truth about problems that exist in our society. If you spoke about the thinly veiled racism that exists in much of middle America because we have a black president would that make you anti-white?

 

No, you say MOST women which is NOT true. Just as the racist a holes you talk about are a small percentage of the population, and I expect BNB would speak about the numbers involved in a way that is based in reality.

[Woggle]

No, you say MOST women which is NOT true. Just as the racist a holes you talk about are a small percentage of the population, and I expect BNB would speak about the numbers involved in a way that is based in reality.

 

Well if you look at easy it is to win an election based on racism I would it is a large percentage. I am white and I have no problem admitting that. Why can't women admit that some men have good reasons for being wary of relationships with women? Why take everything personal as if it is about you in particular?

[bentnotbroken]

But I don't say it is all women. I just speak the truth about problems that exist in our society. If you spoke about the thinly veiled racism that exists in much of middle America because we have a black president would that make you anti-white?

 

 

Woggle, you use the terms most. That affects me in that I have a sister, a daughter, a mother, a niece, a goddaughter....do you see what I am getting at. You assume the thought processes of MOST women is of hatred for men. Do you know how much energy that takes to be that full of hatred. Yes you are correct there are women out there who not only feel hatred for men but abuse any male in their path because of that hatred. Your assumption of the plotting and planning of the demise of man by MOST of the women does a dis-service not only to me, but my child who is female, my mother who is female and any other women who would whip the hell out of another woman for f-ing with her son, brother, husband, nephew....etc.

 

I want my children to stand a chance in relationships. They don't if there are people out there lying to them about how the truly feel about them because of the sex organs they were born with. Stating something and looking for evidence to support the bad instead of looking for the good that really does exist.

[bentnotbroken]

From reading his previous statements, he didn't say ALL WOMEN, even though you desperately like to think he said so. You just don't like him speaking the truth about the bad women out there because you're all for global girl power.

 

Go ahead and punch me.

 

 

There is no reason to punch you:laugh:. Since I am not a girl...I can't say I am for girl power. And since I have a son that would make me anti-son, brother, nephew:laugh:

[donnamaybe]

Well if you look at easy it is to win an election based on racism I would it is a large percentage. I am white and I have no problem admitting that. Why can't women admit that some men have good reasons for being wary of relationships with women? Why take everything personal as if it is about you in particular?

 

I take it personally because if, God forbid, one of my sweet girlfriends were ever in your path you would probably look at her, narrow your eyes, and treat them in a hateful manner because, after all, most women blah blah blah.

 

Hereby once again blocked... sadly. I mistakenly thought you were making some meaningful progress.