noonespecial Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Several months ago, I met a MM where I worked. We're both in our early twenties. He and his wife have been married for about a year and a half. I started to fall for him immediatly, but when I found out he was married, backed off. I was also in a serious relationship at the time. Since then, we've been good friends. I went across country for a couple of months, and when I came back, truly realised how important he was to me. Our relationship has remained strictly platonic, but this week, he informed me that his wife has decided to leave him. They're still living together, though she's moved into the other bedroom, and they have no kids. I, of course, have mixed feelings about this. It hurts me immensely to see him going through something so traumatic (his wife is leaving because she's decided she simply is too young to be married), but at the same time, I desperately want to be able to attempt to pursue a relationship with him. I've not discussed this with him on any serious level recently. We used to joke about it, and he once said: "We're in the right place at the wrong time, aren't we?" My question is this: As a friend to him first and foremost, should I silently stand by and let the chips fall where they may, or should I try and make a move on him? What's the respectable waiting period on something like that even? Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Silently stand by and let the chips fall where they may. Wait until the relationship is OVER; as in he's out of the house. Divorced. The whole kit and caboodle. You don't want to get in the middle of this as it will make you unhappy and very confused. He may end up back with his wife. Be there for him, as a friend. Check out some of the other forums on the OM/OW. No one is walking around happy in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 I agree with shamen - silently stand by and see what happens. Let him deal with the end of his marriage by himself. After all, you don't want to be a crutch - you want an equal partner. Once he is ready and willing to move on then you can try to get involved. Link to post Share on other sites
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