Notice a lot of women want to mention that they have their MASTERS DEGREE

[zengirl]

You misunderstood what I said.

 

FLAUNTING is different than MENTIONING. People who require a date to have the same level of education are usually obnoxious, terrible people.

 

A degree doesn't make you smart, be proud you got it I guess, but don't go around demanding everyone have the same or that they're beneath you because they don't. The smartest people I've ever met don't have college degrees.

 

"If you want an education, go to a library. If you want to get laid, go to college." - Frank Zappa

 

My point was that this OP wasn't about someone thinking anyone was beneath them because they don't have a degree. My point was that your degradation of those with degrees (and many others in this thread) is more snobbish than anything someone with an advanced degree has said in this thread.

 

In this case, it's people of LOWER education levels discriminating against those with HIGHER education levels. I don't know if I'd call them obnoxious, terrible people, but I agree it is odd behavior.

[PinkInTheLimo]

I think the "sheltered" premise (they honestly don't lock us in at night) is as faulty as the assumption that all skillsets become stronger. Which, yes, is faulty. Honestly, most of the academics I know are NOT snobs, but there is a lot of anti-intellectual snobbery these days. I don't get it. Why assume someone's training and experience somehow made them worse off? That's absurd. It didn't make them magically good at everything, no. . . but who said it did?

 

Besides many, many terminal degrees (all the ones I can think of require you to at least DO what you're being trained in) require experience in the field, either done as work prior or during or clinical experiences/research/internships during. The whole point of continued education is to learn from more than just books and basics.

 

I totally agree.

 

And yes, I put my educational level (Master) in my profile because it is one of the boxes to be filled in. And I also prefer to date someone with the same or a higher educational level. Chances are I will get on better with someone who has at least a Master degree.

Yes there might be intelligent people out there who don't have a formal education but I prefer the combination of being intelligent and intellectual, just like myself.

Relationships work better if you are not too different from each other.

 

I can't be happy with a man if I notice that he is not on the same intellectual level.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I think what OP was saying is that there are tons of women who create profiles that seem to be geared towards attracting another woman. They mistakenly assume that men want the same things a woman wants in a mate.

 

I think lots of guys make the same assumptions and mistakes.

 

I have a BS in Biological Research with a minor in Chem. I've dated several women with advanced degree's and I can promise you that it only makes them FEEL smart. The problem is that most often they have lots of training within a narrow focus and completely fail to be well rounded. MBA's in particular can be practically retarded.

 

Anyway... I like a woman who is intelligent. Never confuse intellect with education.

[fortyninethousand322]

I think the "snobbish" part comes in because getting an advanced education can be pricey these days. So when someone says "I will only date someone with a Masters degree" it can read as "I only date someone who can afford to throw money away to an educational institution".

 

With the amount of material available on the internet and other places there's very little reason to go get an advanced education except as something to put on your resume. It does little to enhance actual knowledge.

[zengirl]

I think what OP was saying is that there are tons of women who create profiles that seem to be geared towards attracting another woman. They mistakenly assume that men want the same things a woman wants in a mate.

 

I think lots of guys make the same assumptions and mistakes.

 

I have a BS in Biological Research with a minor in Chem. I've dated several women with advanced degree's and I can promise you that it only makes them FEEL smart. The problem is that most often they have lots of training within a narrow focus and completely fail to be well rounded. MBA's in particular can be practically retarded.

 

Anyway... I like a woman who is intelligent. Never confuse intellect with education.

 

I don't think many girls want to attract the OP---that's for sure. He's always posting crazy restrictions!

 

In terms of what attracts men, I never worried about that when writing a profile. I think the best OLD profile is one that clearly expresses who you are and what you're looking for. TRYING too hard to attract anyone would be weird since the whole idea is to make sure you only attract the people most likely to be right for you. If the people reading your profile for you would disparage or denigrate a major part of your life's work, then they probably should be repelled, rather than attracted. Why assume the goal is to attract as many men as possible?

 

I know many men who do respect educated, accomplished women --- and no, intelligence is not necessarily proven by education or accomplishments; there are many types of intelligence --- and wouldn't consider dating women who aren't. I don't think "men" or "women" want any one particular thing in a mate; the reason dating is difficult is because everyone has different needs and wants. There are some trends, yes, but better to be clear on who you are than to try to 'attract' poor matches.

[zengirl]

I think the "snobbish" part comes in because getting an advanced education can be pricey these days. So when someone says "I will only date someone with a Masters degree" it can read as "I only date someone who can afford to throw money away to an educational institution".

 

With the amount of material available on the internet and other places there's very little reason to go get an advanced education except as something to put on your resume. It does little to enhance actual knowledge.

 

Again, the girls PD is referring to are not saying they will only date men with masters degrees (I agree that's a bit limiting, though anyone's right, really, just as I think it's anyone's right to not date someone for having higher education---but not dating them because they're snobbish even though you're the one with the ed level restrictions [not them!] is weird). They're just listing their accomplishment.

 

And many, many higher degrees are gotten for basically gratis.

[fortyninethousand322]

Again, the girls PD is referring to are not saying they will only date men with masters degrees (I agree that's a bit limiting, though anyone's right, really, just as I think it's anyone's right to not date someone for having higher education---but not dating them because they're snobbish even though you're the one with the ed level restrictions [not them!] is weird). They're just listing their accomplishment.

 

And many, many higher degrees are gotten for basically gratis.

 

OP usually complains about random things about online dating, so this whole thread seems kind of funky anyway so I'm with you on that.

 

But free? Which degrees and which schools? Generally, not necessarily specifically.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If you've got it, flaunt it! Whatever it is.

[Engadget]

My point was that this OP wasn't about someone thinking anyone was beneath them because they don't have a degree. My point was that your degradation of those with degrees (and many others in this thread) is more snobbish than anything someone with an advanced degree has said in this thread.

 

In this case, it's people of LOWER education levels discriminating against those with HIGHER education levels. I don't know if I'd call them obnoxious, terrible people, but I agree it is odd behavior.

 

In this case, but I've seen people with advanced degrees bashing those without on here more than a few times.

[carhill]

In this case, but I've seen people with advanced degrees bashing those without on here more than a few times.

Critical thinking, as well as intelligence and education, are tools, which can be used to help and uplift, or to hurt and oppress. Each person has choices in how, why and when they use their tools.

 

IMO, the OP overreached equating a simple listing of a master's degree with bragging, condescension, lording over the man, or similar, which was the impression I took away from his OP.

 

In life, in person, if the woman in front of him is such a person (the negatives described prior), then she is. Big world, billions of people in it. Next.

[serial muse]

OP usually complains about random things about online dating, so this whole thread seems kind of funky anyway so I'm with you on that.

 

But free? Which degrees and which schools? Generally, not necessarily specifically.

 

Physical sciences advanced degrees are more often than not gratis to the student. Their education is often paid for by an advisors' research grant. When applying for those grants, researchers are often encouraged by the granting agency to include "education" funding for one or more students, who in turn do a lot of the less-glamorous and/or repetitive grunt work (running programs, collecting samples, analyzing samples) for their advisor's research. So in a sense, it is indeed an analog to journeyman training. And everybody wins.

Edited February 28, 2012 by serial muse

[serial muse]

I think what OP was saying is that there are tons of women who create profiles that seem to be geared towards attracting another woman. They mistakenly assume that men want the same things a woman wants in a mate.

 

I think lots of guys make the same assumptions and mistakes.

 

This is very likely true, in many ways...but at the same time, there were enough guys who responded to this thread that the grad degree is a plus for them, or at least a point of interest and something to chat about, that I don't think it's reasonable to state (as the OP did) that "men aren't interested in a woman's education".

 

Some men are, some aren't. I mean, that's all there is to it. The OP isn't, but there isn't any need to say that NO guys aren't. That's just his opinion. Why make a federal case out of it???

 

I guess I don't understand why people have to make it so complicated. People don't all like the same things. There just isn't much more to it than that.

[fortyninethousand322]

Physical sciences advanced degrees are more often than not gratis to the student. Their education is often paid for by an advisors' research grant. When applying for those grants, researchers are often encouraged by the granting agency to include "education" funding for one or more students, who in turn do a lot of the less-glamorous and/or repetitive grunt work (running programs, collecting samples, analyzing samples) for their advisor's research. So in a sense, it is indeed an analog to journeyman training. And everybody wins.

 

Ok well that makes sense. I've just never met someone who got a Masters degree in psychology or political science or some social science/humanities degree for free, which is usually what a lot of people these days have, unfortunately.

[serial muse]

Ok well that makes sense. I've just never met someone who got a Masters degree in psychology or political science or some social science/humanities degree for free, which is usually what a lot of people these days have, unfortunately.

 

Yeah, I think grad students in the humanities really struggle...often they get research assistantships and teaching assistantships from the university to help defray the costs (my sister is in this situation) but unlike for the physical sciences, those RA and TA positions tend to only cover a portion of the cost of classes/living expenses, and they're still in hock with big student loans.

[zengirl]

OP usually complains about random things about online dating, so this whole thread seems kind of funky anyway so I'm with you on that.

 

But free? Which degrees and which schools? Generally, not necessarily specifically.

 

My MA in Education wasn't quite free, but it was close. I worked in the writing lab on campus for a stipend, some pay, and 75% tuition. My PhD in Education was originally 1/2 funded by the school district when I was a teacher and 25% grant-supported and is currently 100% paid for by my work, plus I pocket the grant money (or technically pocket 25% of the cost from my employer, I guess). Only one year of thesis work is paid for---the rest would be at my cost---but I don't expect to go over time with that. People do delay on them, though.

 

serial muse detailed a lot of the sciences. Additionally, most people with Engineering Masters or PhDs I've met were working through school (many schools partner with engineering firms for program schedules that work) and had it paid for by their company. Most programmers I know with Masters had their work pay for their higher degrees; hubby might do that sometime.

 

Getting an MFA in writing for free is easy enough---and no one should pay for one (though many do) because if you can't get accepted and given the money to go basically for free, you aren't talented enough to go. I almost went for my MFA and had offers from several schools of more than the cost of tuition. I've heard the same is true for art.

 

Granted, it's a lot harder to get a JD, MD, or MBA for free. But those generally lead to lucrative careers if you have a good enough plan and follow through. And MBAs aren't unheard of---I know quite a few people with employer-paid MBAs.

 

I don't know about a lot of the humanities, but I know quite a few people with MAs in English or Writing, and most of them didn't pay for it. But every uni needs tons of English TAs and assistants. Might be harder in certain fields.

 

In this case, but I've seen people with advanced degrees bashing those without on here more than a few times.

 

So you thought you'd preemptively bash them just in case? Well, it's no wonder you find that such people seem obnoxious to you---generally people you preemptively attack act obnoxious towards you!

[Engadget]

So you thought you'd preemptively bash them just in case? Well, it's no wonder you find that such people seem obnoxious to you---generally people you preemptively attack act obnoxious towards you!

 

Pretty much, yes. If you're not one of those people I'm not sure why you're getting upset about it.

[TheFinalWord]

There are so many misconceptions about academia in this thread, I'm not sure where to start

 

I've said in a few threads on here that an advanced degree is just a job credential. A PhD is no better than a CDL. I couldn't drive a big rig! LOL

 

A PhD means you are trained to conduct, analyze, and evaluate scientific data.

 

Within this context, there are numerous possibilities. Some people go into research, some specialize in teaching, and some place a heavy emphasis on service. So even if someone has a PhD, they may elect to teach at a school that focuses on undergraduates. While someone who can secure large grants may go to a research-intense university.

 

Also, having a PhD doesn't mean much in the academic world, b/c everyone has the same degree haha More important in academia is your productivity. This can be gauged by looking at the person's curriculum vitae. A lot of people have a PhD and are completely unproductive. Trust me I see it everyday.

 

Now, the main reason an advanced degree matters to a lot of us in academia is because someone with an advanced degree "understands" our world. I can tell many people in this thread don't have a clue about academia.

 

That would okay if folks were more open minded. Because you've dated someone with a PhD means very little in terms of understanding the pressures of academic life. So for those of us with advanced degrees those without one generally do not understand our world. It is an automatic barrier to be overcome in a relationship.

 

For myself, I have dated two women with only a bachelors, and one with an associates, but all of them were extremely open minded and eager to learn about my profession. And I desired to learn about theirs.

 

Unfortunately, gauging by this thread, many people are not open-minded. So by and large it is easier to just go for dating people who have advanced degrees b/c they already get it.

 

As we all know, you want support in a relationship. Someone who will be there for you and help you in achieving your life goals. It would be difficult to do this if the other person has preconceived bias. Especially when you can tell they don't have a clue what they're talking about. LOL

 

I imagine it would be a bit like an artist trying to date someone who has no artistic desires and doesn't care to learn. You would have to deal with someone who doesn't have a clue about your world, may not want to learn, and is unlikely able to provide any support.

 

I think it would be better if people stopped acting on bias and approached things with a more open mind. It would serve you well in all aspects of your life.

[pureinheart]

My point was that this OP wasn't about someone thinking anyone was beneath them because they don't have a degree. My point was that your degradation of those with degrees (and many others in this thread) is more snobbish than anything someone with an advanced degree has said in this thread.

 

In this case, it's people of LOWER education levels discriminating against those with HIGHER education levels. I don't know if I'd call them obnoxious, terrible people, but I agree it is odd behavior.

 

 

Just out of curiosity, who defines "lower" or "higher" education...does a piece of paper define this?

 

Now if a person defines their existance through public education, then maybe this is not arrogant, but a definition of who they are as they have not discovered "who" they are inside yet.

 

Are they trying to communicate that they are "intelligent" by having a "Masters" degree? Is this how one measures intelligence?

 

IMO it is not needed to put out there in a dating atmosphere the level of documented education...FTR some of the most "educated" people I've known are the most ignorant.

Edited February 28, 2012 by pureinheart

[zengirl]

Just out of curiosity, who defines "lower" or "higher" education...does a piece of paper define this?

 

Now if a person defines their existance through public education, then maybe this is not arrogant, but a definition of who they are as they have not discovered "who" they are inside yet.

 

Are they trying to communicate that they are "intelligent" by having a "Masters" degree? Is this how one measures intelligence?

 

IMO it is not needed to put out there in a dating atmosphere the level of documented education...FTR some of the most "educated" people I've known are the most ignorant.

 

Huh? I was using lower and higher as comparative terms---more people in this thread are judging someone of a higher education level (than them) than of a lower educational level (than them), not set terms. To me, all collegiate work is 'higher education' in terms of the definition, though not 'higher' than a Masters comparatively. There is no definition of 'lower education' that is not comparative.

 

I think the girls saying they have a Masters degree are trying to convey they have a Masters degree, which also gives you some questions to ask about that thing they spend a lot of time studying, are probably pretty interested in, and likely plan to do with their lives. I do think it's extremely WEIRD that so many people here are getting uppity about people with advanced degrees even mentioning they have them, as though its some kind of assault or affront or people with more education than them bother them in some way.

 

Again, you're proving my point: most of the people being snobbish and rude in this thread are being rude TO people with more education, not being victimized in any way by those with higher levels of education (again higher being comparative).

 

Pretty much, yes. If you're not one of those people I'm not sure why you're getting upset about it.

 

I am one of those people with a higher degree, so to hear people call those with terminal or Masters degrees snobbish, sheltered, etc, in a general sense DOES bother me. Your post had the assumption that people with degrees were somehow snotty, and my point was that comes from nowhere in this thread and only from your own personal bias and that YOUR attitude towards higher education is snobbish, ironically.

[aj22one]

What I was worried about was a woman with a higher level of education might think I was disinterested in academic or intellectual conversations. I love talking about those things and to be honest I'd love to go back and get an advanced degree I just don't have the time since I'm busy running my business.

 

I was just worried a woman would say "oh he's just got a bachelors degree, he probably doesn't want to discuss Descartes, or Frederic Bastiat or sociology".

[kaylan]

I am one of those people with a higher degree, so to hear people call those with terminal or Masters degrees snobbish, sheltered, etc, in a general sense DOES bother me. Your post had the assumption that people with degrees were somehow snotty, and my point was that comes from nowhere in this thread and only from your own personal bias and that YOUR attitude towards higher education is snobbish, ironically.

People insecure about their own education and accomplishments will hate on someone elses education.

[zengirl]

What I was worried about was a woman with a higher level of education might think I was disinterested in academic or intellectual conversations. I love talking about those things and to be honest I'd love to go back and get an advanced degree I just don't have the time since I'm busy running my business.

 

I was just worried a woman would say "oh he's just got a bachelors degree, he probably doesn't want to discuss Descartes, or Frederic Bastiat or sociology".

 

I mean I would assume MOST people, even those with PhDs (unless it's in sociology or philosophy), don't want to discuss those things unless it happens to come up. I don't think most people start convos about Descartes frequently (not saying they shouldn't) but most people I know with advanced degrees don't consider people with Bachelors or even those without Bachelors as unable to hold a conversation. And, frankly, I wouldn't assume someone with a PhD in, say, astrophysics (a very hard degree that takes someone much smarter than I am!) to know that much about Descartes, necessarily. PhD work is very specialized. You learn A LOT about one or two things and not much else. There's no journeyman PhD.

 

So, I'd say that assumption is fairly unlikely. Most people in my program or people I know with advanced degrees aren't necessarily going to be professors or work for universities for the bulk of their careers (I know a few who moonlight and I might work at a uni someday but it's not my main goal), though---that circle of academia is a bit different, perhaps, though I cannot imagine them thinking people without the degree can't hold a conversation. After all. . . they could probably hold conversations before attaining the degree.

[serial muse]

Now if a person defines their existance through public education, then maybe this is not arrogant, but a definition of who they are as they have not discovered "who" they are inside yet.

 

Are they trying to communicate that they are "intelligent" by having a "Masters" degree? Is this how one measures intelligence?

 

Well, yes, that is a question - but hopefully you meant it as an actual question, not a rhetorical one. As far as we know, the women referenced in the OP's post said nothing about defining intelligence by their degrees. So why would one assume they are? Why would one assume anything about them, without knowing the context? If these women also stated that they own a Harley, would you assume that they're defining themselves through their name-brand motorcycle because they aren't yet in tune with their inner selves?

 

It's just a datapoint, for heaven's sake. People really need to relax about this.

 

As has been said over and over again, just because you know people who are intelligent and savvy and don't have lots of degrees DOES NOT MEAN that those who DO have those degrees AREN'T intelligent and savvy. There are ignorant, obnoxious people in every walk of life. Why pretend that they are largely confined within the walls of a university?

 

That, too, is snobbery.

[zengirl]

People insecure about their own education and accomplishments will hate on someone elses education.

 

Well, yes, I figure. When I say bothered, I'm not really hurt or anything---just annoyed at the ironically snobbish behavior. But thanks, Kaylan. I guess that's my point -- what else but insecurity would drive you tear down anyone's accomplishments, whether they be a higher degree or a successful business built or whatever?

[aj22one]

I mean I would assume MOST people, even those with PhDs (unless it's in sociology or philosophy), don't want to discuss those things unless it happens to come up. I don't think most people start convos about Descartes frequently (not saying they shouldn't) but most people I know with advanced degrees don't consider people with Bachelors or even those without Bachelors as unable to hold a conversation. And, frankly, I wouldn't assume someone with a PhD in, say, astrophysics (a very hard degree that takes someone much smarter than I am!) to know that much about Descartes, necessarily. PhD work is very specialized. You learn A LOT about one or two things and not much else. There's no journeyman PhD.

 

So, I'd say that assumption is fairly unlikely. Most people in my program or people I know with advanced degrees aren't necessarily going to be professors or work for universities for the bulk of their careers (I know a few who moonlight and I might work at a uni someday but it's not my main goal), though---that circle of academia is a bit different, perhaps, though I cannot imagine them thinking people without the degree can't hold a conversation. After all. . . they could probably hold conversations before attaining the degree.

 

I've only rarely ran into people with advanced degrees in hard science, most of the people with advanced degrees that I've ran into had them in subjects like poli-sci, regional studies, government, psychology, history and the like (including my gf who is in a PhD program in political philosophy).

 

Regardless, it's not really a question I would ask someone about right away, and I don't plan on being involved in online dating anytime soon so hopefully this is all a moot point.