Notice a lot of women want to mention that they have their MASTERS DEGREE

[kaylan]

As an aside, I think the "equitable contributors" thing is a bit odd, personally, and often keeps successful women down. I get not wanting someone who's vastly different from you in education or social sphere or who would need to rely on you for finances or so forth, but sometimes it's better to have one partner who has a more reasonable/less lucrative (and soul-consuming) career than the other, so that there's balance. Just a thought. I would personally NEVER assume that what made a relationship equitable was finances. But that's how I was raised, I guess.

 

As far as men who feel inferior if they make less or whatever . . . I say screw them. But I'm about 10 years younger than you, I think, so it could make all the difference. Men in my generation aren't as fussy about all that, IME.

 

(This is not to say I think it's bad to want what you want---I just question the equitable argument. There's a lot more that goes into a relationship than money. A man could easily not "rely" on you without making the kind of salary you make.)

This.

 

I see it like this. If a girl has a postgrad degree, and absolutely wants a guy whos of the same education level and/or makes more money then her...well shes gonna have a tough time dating. Why? Because post grad degree holders only make 7% of the population. Id understand more if someone want to date a person who at least went through undergrad since 30% of folks hold a bachelors. But the dating pool is small when it comes to post grads.

 

Then you have to deal with the fact that many of those guys will simply be just fine with a chick as long as shes educated and working. This means a bachelors will suffice. So how many candidates will she be able to date if the pool is small, and shes got competition from the other 30% of college degree holders?

[PhillyDude]

I'm sorry. That wasn't obvious. It sounded like you were making fun of her and taking some joy in her troubles. I guess I'm confused because you seem to have something against women with higher education (?). Or is it just higher education in general you are against?

 

Cause seriously... I have friends (male and female) with zero college and some who are bonafide super geniuses... who have written multiple books, have 200+ patents, and are sought out world-experts in such-n-such. Really...what they all have in common are that they are good people and are curious about the world around them. For some bizarre reason we still find things to talk about and activities to enjoy that don't cost alot of $$.

 

Seems like good friend material to me. None of them are single or my age though. Oh well. Hopefully if I'm nice they will introduce me to their single friends should one come available.

 

 

I have a issue with people who has a Master's and can't put a resume together.

[kaylan]

Also, ZenGirl is right about younger guys. We dont care how much a chick makes. Me and my friends are between 20 and 20...most of us are mid 20s...and whenever I heard them talk about a chick with a good career and education, it was always in an admirable way. That she was a catch and they really got along well and could talk to her.

[Star Gazer]

I see it like this. If a girl has a postgrad degree, and absolutely wants a guy whos of the same education level and/or makes more money then her...well shes gonna have a tough time dating. Why? Because post grad degree holders only make 7% of the population. Id understand more if someone want to date a person who at least went through undergrad since 30% of folks hold a bachelors. But the dating pool is small when it comes to post grads.

 

Then you have to deal with the fact that many of those guys will simply be just fine with a chick as long as shes educated and working. This means a bachelors will suffice. So how many candidates will she be able to date if the pool is small, and shes got competition from the other 30% of college degree holders?

 

Educated, successful women shouldn't date down just because men do.

[johan]

I have a issue with people who has a Master's and can't put a resume together.

 

Or even a simple sentence, for that matter.

[PhillyDude]

Or even a simple sentence, for that matter.

 

My error, that was supposed to be HAVE lol

[aj22one]

This.

 

I see it like this. If a girl has a postgrad degree, and absolutely wants a guy whos of the same education level and/or makes more money then her...well shes gonna have a tough time dating. Why? Because post grad degree holders only make 7% of the population. Id understand more if someone want to date a person who at least went through undergrad since 30% of folks hold a bachelors. But the dating pool is small when it comes to post grads.

 

Then you have to deal with the fact that many of those guys will simply be just fine with a chick as long as shes educated and working. This means a bachelors will suffice. So how many candidates will she be able to date if the pool is small, and shes got competition from the other 30% of college degree holders?

 

Haha dude, lots of people are ok with having shall we say "refined" tastes. Yeah yeah you might be single for a while but getting what you really want is worth it.

 

Personally, education level is not my preferred criteria of limiting people but I understand people's desire to be choosy.

[kaylan]

I didn't say I wouldn't date a man who made a "little less" than me. In fact, I said I wanted a man to earn "around what I do." That does not mean "equal or more."

What if he made 10 or 15 grand less, but took care of himself just fine, and didnt care about your finances?

 

Trust me, finding an educated man in my income tax bracket is not terribly difficult.

Didnt say it was. I simply said dont let a few losers from the past cause you to rule out decent guys in the present.

 

Plus depending on your income bracket, your selection criteria will have you competing with a lot of gals for a small sampling of dudes.

Nope. I think your choice of words and the manner in which you communicate is very telling.

Meh. I couldnt care less about what you find telling. You really have a habit of saying things that take jabs at folks for no reason.

 

Then again Im not the first person to say this today. Either way, my choice of words is reflective of my happy go lucky attitude.

[Star Gazer]

What if he made 10 or 15 grand less, but took care of himself just fine, and didnt care about your finances?

 

Percentage-wise, that would be perfectly fine and "around what I make." 10-15k would not be a big difference.

 

Plus depending on your income bracket, your selection criteria will have you competing with a lot of gals for a small sampling of dudes.

 

I realize that only a small percentage of the population has advanced degrees, but what you don't seem to be recognizing is that I am am not having ANY difficulty whatsoever meeting educated men in my income tax bracket. NONE. Maybe it's my social circle, geographical area, activities, etc., that keeps me around similar people, but seriously... it's not like a desert.

[kaylan]

Haha dude, lots of people are ok with having shall we say "refined" tastes. Yeah yeah you might be single for a while but getting what you really want is worth it.

 

Personally, education level is not my preferred criteria of limiting people but I understand people's desire to be choosy.

I never said refined tastes are bad. But its severely limiting. Especially for educated a successful women who may already deal with some guys who dont want that in a chick. So they find themselves single because some dudes have the same attitudes they do.

 

Im all for finding what you want though.

 

My best friend found himself growing apart from his first girlfriend because he was so ambitious school and career wise, but she wasnt. They dated for 6 years. He just realized as they grew up, they grew apart. They didnt have the same interests, and he felt he couldnt have intellectual convos with her.

 

He ended up falling for his best chick friend. A girl who went to a top NY university, is ambitious and hard working as all hell, can talk to him about all his interests, and is a damn good banker. Like attracts like. So I get it. However neither of them felt someone absolutely had to make a certain amount of money or go and get a masters degree.

[RedRobin]

That doesn't seem too bad. I just don't need to know about your education level in the 1st three dates. We can definitely lead up to that conversation

 

Ok. Then I assume you don't Google anyone before the first few dates? Or look them up on LinkedIn?

 

I have a weird quirk myself. I won't accept a second date by men who Google me before meeting me. I've never met one yet that wasn't paranoid or a control freak.

 

So, I do understand why people come to associate certain behaviors with something negative. If you've had negative interactions with women who have more education than you... and you feel spurned, then I suppose it is understandable if you didn't want to repeat that. Still...

 

What if she did only list a Bachelor's degree (to avoid scaring off skittish men with education insecurities)... You wouldn't call her a 'liar' later on when you found out she had a Masters or PhD? And perhaps do what another poster did in another thread. Maybe text her as you are squealing out of the parking lot saying "sorry, you lied about your education. I can't handle liars and people who have more education than me." Can you see how silly it all starts to sound?

 

I dunno. I could be wrong, but I'm betting this would be a losing proposition for any woman... regardless of how she manages it.

 

Probably best if she's just honest in her profile and let guys who feel emasculated by educational differences fall by the wayside. So much less drama that way. The women who don't care about those things will still be interested in you... so no worries.

[Star Gazer]

Meh. I couldnt care less about what you find telling. You really have a habit of saying things that take jabs at folks for no reason.

 

Then again Im not the first person to say this today. Either way, my choice of words is reflective of my happy go lucky attitude.

 

Nah, there's always a reason.

 

And I'm not terribly concerned about the particular LS personalities who put me down. I can hold my own just fine.

[aj22one]

I never said refined tastes are bad. But its severely limiting. Especially for educated a successful women who may already deal with some guys who dont want that in a chick. So they find themselves single because some dudes have the same attitudes they do.

 

Im all for finding what you want though.

 

My best friend found himself growing apart from his first girlfriend because he was so ambitious school and career wise, but she wasnt. They dated for 6 years. He just realized as they grew up, they grew apart. They didnt have the same interests, and he felt he couldnt have intellectual convos with her.

 

He ended up falling for his best chick friend. A girl who went to a top NY university, is ambitious and hard working as all hell, can talk to him about all his interests, and is a damn good banker. Like attracts like. So I get it. However neither of them felt someone absolutely had to make a certain amount of money or go and get a masters degree.

 

As much as I end up disagreeing with SG on many occasion, I have never to the best of my knowledge seen her complain about being unable to find dates. As long as what she's doing is working for her who cares? Maybe it's limiting, maybe it isn't.

 

The only time it's ever a problem is if someone has picky standards and then turns around and complains that no one meets these standards.

[zengirl]

No, I'm not that old. Our generations aren't that different.

 

Sorry, I am never quite sure. I thought you and the men you dated were mid-30s. I usually date a little older, but haven't dated much past 30 ever. I know guys who are older might sometimes be different about finances was my point.

 

This.

 

I see it like this. If a girl has a postgrad degree, and absolutely wants a guy whos of the same education level and/or makes more money then her...well shes gonna have a tough time dating. Why? Because post grad degree holders only make 7% of the population.

 

Right. I think limiting yourself that strictly is a bit hardcore, especially when you deal with income. SG, based on how you speak about money, I'm willing to bet there are not a large percentage of men that make the same kind of money as you (I actually thought you had a soldier BF at the moment---and I had no clue soldiers---even officers---made the same kind of money as NoCal lawyers, unless you work for a nonprofit or something) or any other woman in your salary range. I don't think most men see this as "dating down" and I just find that mindset hurts more women than it helps. I would never view a couple who had unequal incomes (no matter who made more) as the person with the higher income "dating down." That just seems mean to me.

 

That said, whenever we're talking hypotheticals and not real people, it's hard. And anyway, I think it's fine to want whatever you want as long as you're not unhappy if you don't get it. I think it's fine to want someone who makes about the same as you, but it's the 'dating down' attitude that strikes me as unproductive and alienating, personally.

[Art_Critic]

I have a weird quirk myself. I won't accept a second date by men who Google me before meeting me. I've never met one yet that wasn't paranoid or a control freak.

 

I'd be okay with that.. I went out with a girl that was great on the first date, I then googled her and found something odd so I went to the state inmate lookup and found out she had gotten out of jail about 10 months prior.

She did all of a 9 year sentence for armed robbery while being pregnant with a child.

I called her, discussed it and then canceled the second date..

 

I call that being smart doing research that could very well alter my life for the worse..

 

So what are you hiding ?

[kaylan]

Percentage-wise, that would be perfectly fine and "around what I make." 10-15k would not be a big difference.

Oh nvm...thats cool then. I figure another more than 15k would be a huge dip downward lol.

 

So youre cool then. Id be fine as long as a chick was at least aiming to be middle class so she could take care of herself with no problem. And wouldnt need anyone to support her. Only thing id take issue with was if a chick was low class and didnt try to change that at all.

 

But you can spot those chicks from a mile away. And they are usually looking for a man to leech off of.

I realize that only a small percentage of the population has advanced degrees, but what you don't seem to be recognizing is that I am am not having ANY difficulty whatsoever meeting educated men in my income tax bracket. NONE. Maybe it's my social circle, geographical area, activities, etc., that keeps me around similar people, but seriously... it's not like a desert.

Whatever works for you. You single now? Meeting men and actually finding people to date for a significant period of time are two different things.

 

I have no problem meeting chicks, but I have a hard time meeting chicks ill end up dating seriously.

[RedRobin]

I have a issue with people who has a Master's and can't put a resume together.

 

Those are two completely different skills. FYI... a CV is MUCH longer than a standard resume. In academia, a CV can be 10 pages or more. Depends on what kind of job you are applying for.

[aj22one]

Ok. Then I assume you don't Google anyone before the first few dates? Or look them up on LinkedIn?

 

I have a weird quirk myself. I won't accept a second date by men who Google me before meeting me. I've never met one yet that wasn't paranoid or a control freak.

 

I don't usually ask for last names until I develop some kinda rapport. So I don't think should ever be an issue.

 

So, I do understand why people come to associate certain behaviors with something negative. If you've had negative interactions with women who have more education than you... and you feel spurned, then I suppose it is understandable if you didn't want to repeat that. Still...

 

What if she did only list a Bachelor's degree (to avoid scaring off skittish men with education insecurities)... You wouldn't call her a 'liar' later on when you found out she had a Masters or PhD? And perhaps do what another poster did in another thread. Maybe text her as you are squealing out of the parking lot saying "sorry, you lied about your education. I can't handle liars and people who have more education than me." Can you see how silly it all starts to sound?

 

I dunno. I could be wrong, but I'm betting this would be a losing proposition for any woman... regardless of how she manages it.

 

Probably best if she's just honest in her profile and let guys who feel emasculated by educational differences fall by the wayside. So much less drama that way. The women who don't care about those things will still be interested in you... so no worries.

 

I don't think anybody should flaunt their education unless they expected a similar level of education or if it was a big part of their life. If you're a lawyer I think it's safe to assume you have a law degree for example. That goes for both sexes.

[PhillyDude]

Ok. Then I assume you don't Google anyone before the first few dates? Or look them up on LinkedIn?

 

I have a weird quirk myself. I won't accept a second date by men who Google me before meeting me. I've never met one yet that wasn't paranoid or a control freak.

 

So, I do understand why people come to associate certain behaviors with something negative. If you've had negative interactions with women who have more education than you... and you feel spurned, then I suppose it is understandable if you didn't want to repeat that. Still...

 

What if she did only list a Bachelor's degree (to avoid scaring off skittish men with education insecurities)... You wouldn't call her a 'liar' later on when you found out she had a Masters or PhD? And perhaps do what another poster did in another thread. Maybe text her as you are squealing out of the parking lot saying "sorry, you lied about your education. I can't handle liars and people who have more education than me." Can you see how silly it all starts to sound?

 

I dunno. I could be wrong, but I'm betting this would be a losing proposition for any woman... regardless of how she manages it.

 

Probably best if she's just honest in her profile and let guys who feel emasculated by educational differences fall by the wayside. So much less drama that way. The women who don't care about those things will still be interested in you... so no worries.

 

 

No I don't google anyone before a date, only women do that crap

[Star Gazer]

Oh nvm...thats cool then. I figure another more than 15k would be a huge dip downward lol.

 

I'd estimate he'd have to make about 35k less than me for it to be potentially troublesome for me. Most people would still consider his salary to be a good one at that point though.

 

So youre cool then. Id be fine as long as a chick was at least aiming to be middle class so she could take care of herself with no problem. And wouldnt need anyone to support her. Only thing id take issue with was if a chick was low class and didnt try to change that at all.

 

I'm cool then? So, I have your approval? Oh, happy day!

 

Whatever works for you. You single now? Meeting men and actually finding people to date for a significant period of time are two different things.

 

No, I'm not single, and yes, he meets my criteria. Further, ALL (I repeat, ALL) of the men I have dated and been in relationships with over the past 8 years have meet my education and income criteria, some more so than others.

[PhillyDude]

Those are two completely different skills. FYI... a CV is MUCH longer than a standard resume. In academia, a CV can be 10 pages or more. Depends on what kind of job you are applying for.

 

Anyone who has a 10 page resume should never have to apply to a job. They should have connections to land somewhere else

[kaylan]

Nah, there's always a reason.

 

And I'm not terribly concerned about the particular LS personalities who put me down. I can hold my own just fine.

And we arent too concerned when you take pot shots at us or other posters. But it does get old. Whatevs though.

As much as I end up disagreeing with SG on many occasion, I have never to the best of my knowledge seen her complain about being unable to find dates. As long as what she's doing is working for her who cares? Maybe it's limiting, maybe it isn't.

 

The only time it's ever a problem is if someone has picky standards and then turns around and complains that no one meets these standards.

Meeting people and finding someone to date for a significant period of time are two different things. But if shes doing alright, more power to her.

Sorry, I am never quite sure. I thought you and the men you dated were mid-30s. I usually date a little older, but haven't dated much past 30 ever. I know guys who are older might sometimes be different about finances was my point.

My friends older cousins are in their 30s and the women have far different expectations then women my age. And they said when they were in their 20s the expectations were different from what I experience now as well.

 

As we keep moving forwards in time, and as gender roles keep changing bit by bit...you can be sure that 10 years is more than enough to see a difference in dating climates for each age ranges generation.

 

Im pretty sure my younger cousin will have different male-female dating dynamics to experience when shes in her 20s.

[kaylan]

I'd estimate he'd have to make about 35k less than me for it to be potentially troublesome for me. Most people would still consider his salary to be a good one at that point though.

Well if he still has a good salary, then I dont see why it should matter all that much. If it doesnt bother him, why should it bother you. You gonna write off a secure guy simply for that?

 

 

I'm cool then? So, I have your approval? Oh, happy day!

*yawn*

 

No, I'm not single, and yes, he meets my criteria. Further, ALL (I repeat, ALL) of the men I have dated and been in relationships with over the past 8 years have meet my education and income criteria, some more so than others.

Well your income requirements are pretty liberal since you have a far range. So whatever works. What are your education requirements? If a guy had the cash but not the education, would you write him off?

[RedRobin]

I don't usually ask for last names until I develop some kinda rapport. So I don't think should ever be an issue.

 

I don't think anybody should flaunt their education unless they expected a similar level of education or if it was a big part of their life. If you're a lawyer I think it's safe to assume you have a law degree for example. That goes for both sexes.

 

I guess I'm confused what is considered flaunting. Hitting the Master's or PhD in the downselect box on OkC or Match.com isn't flaunting to me. It's just being honest.

 

I'm kind of glad that OkC has a 'space camp' button. I'd prefer my education not be the first topic of conversation either.

[Star Gazer]

Well if he still has a good salary, then I dont see why it should matter all that much. If it doesnt bother him, why should it bother you. You gonna write off a secure guy simply for that?

 

Let me repeat myself, since you aren't reading what I'm writing. I have significant experience dating men who earn significantly less than I do (as in, more than 35k less than I do), and in each instance, the man in question was very insecure and felt emasculated by the fact that I had to pay for pretty much everything that was even remotely expensive (even an overnight stay at a B&B or a nice dinner). I have no interest in dealing with such a man again, and there are PLENTY (and I mean PLENTY) of men in my income tax bracket to choose from, so there's no need for me to seek out a man who's not.

 

Well your income requirements are pretty liberal since you have a far range. So whatever works. What are your education requirements? If a guy had the cash but not the education, would you write him off?

 

They're actually not that liberal. It's just that I earn enough that 10-15k isn't that big of a difference.

 

As for education, yup. And again, it hasn't been a problem for me finding someone with an advanced education (masters or professional degree).