Notice a lot of women want to mention that they have their MASTERS DEGREE

[RedRobin]

Anyone who has a 10 page resume should never have to apply to a job. They should have connections to land somewhere else

 

Even the 'connections' require a CV. For their Human Resources department. The organization or institute of higher learning has to at least leave the impression of considering all applicants.

[aj22one]

I guess I'm confused what is considered flaunting. Hitting the Master's or PhD in the downselect box on OkC or Match.com isn't flaunting to me. It's just being honest.

 

I'm kind of glad that OkC has a 'space camp' button. I'd prefer my education not be the first topic of conversation either.

 

I dunno. It's been awhile since I've used online dating so I had no idea what kind of options they give you for education. I probably would only skim the vital stats stuff and actually read what the girl wrote about herself her personality and what not. If she wrote about it in her self description of something in a sorta prominent way maybe that'd be flaunting I guess. It's hard to describe what I'm talking about, but there are definitely people of both sexes who use advanced degrees to give them an inflated sense of importance.

[kaylan]

Let me repeat myself, since you aren't reading what I'm writing. I have significant experience dating men who earn significantly less than I do (as in, more than 35k less than I do), and in each instance, the man in question was very insecure and felt emasculated by the fact that I had to pay for pretty much everything that was even remotely expensive (even an overnight stay at a B&B or a nice dinner). I have no interest in dealing with such a man again, and there are PLENTY (and I mean PLENTY) of men in my income tax bracket to choose from, so there's no need for me to seek out a man who's not.

Oh wells...sucks for you that you dated insecure men I guess. Oh wells...Im still telling you that you simply picked insecure dudes and theres guys out there whod be find dating ya while making less. I know myself and my friends wouldnt take issue with your cash. You can pay for me any day haha.

 

Then again I dont have a desire to do many expensive things.

 

 

They're actually not that liberal. It's just that I earn enough that 10-15k isn't that big of a difference.

 

As for education, yup. And again, it hasn't been a problem for me finding someone with an advanced education (masters or professional degree).

If a guy can get close to 30k before you take issue with his income, then Id call that a liberal standard. Especially when some women out there wouldnt even date a guy who made less at all.

 

But do your thing.

[aj22one]

kaylan, you care way too much about this.

[Star Gazer]

If a guy can get close to 30k before you take issue with his income, then Id call that a liberal standard. Especially when some women out there wouldnt even date a guy who made less at all.

 

But do your thing.

 

There's not that big of a difference in day-to-day living between someone who makes 100 and 130, as an example, or even 100 and 70. And if you reduce that to 10-15k, which was what we discussed as being "around" what I make, then you can really see why 10-15k less is really nothing.

[kaylan]

kaylan, you care way too much about this.

Excuse me, I didnt know I wasnt allowed to respond to someone while having a conversation.

There's not that big of a difference in day-to-day living between someone who makes 100 and 130, as an example, or even 100 and 70. And if you reduce that to 10-15k, which was what we discussed as being "around" what I make, then you can really see why 10-15k less is really nothing.

Whatever ya say richie rich.

 

Who remembers that cartoon or movie btw? Good stuff growing up.

[RedRobin]

No I don't google anyone before a date, only women do that crap

 

That's good to know.

 

Interestingly, nearly all of the men I agreed to meet from either Match.com or OkC had Googled me in advance.

 

I think it is lame too. I usually want to tell them they should go on a date with google instead... But I don't. I've tried putting it behind me after the fact, but their insecurity and paranoia comes out in other ways.

 

So I just don't agree to a second date anymore. Saves us both alot of time.

[RedRobin]

I dunno. It's been awhile since I've used online dating so I had no idea what kind of options they give you for education. I probably would only skim the vital stats stuff and actually read what the girl wrote about herself her personality and what not. If she wrote about it in her self description of something in a sorta prominent way maybe that'd be flaunting I guess. It's hard to describe what I'm talking about, but there are definitely people of both sexes who use advanced degrees to give them an inflated sense of importance.

 

Yes, I find it a bit annoying when the guy defines himself by his diploma (or lack of one). Character doesn't come on a piece of paper. I agree.

[reallyhotguy]

I like how the last few threads I've been in have involved (or devolved into) discussions about money. Which is completely fine with me, because I've been obsessed with it lately. I'm still freaking out about 1.02 which is an insane number to me; my private loan is like 11x that, ****ing wells Fargo are criminals.

Edited February 27, 2012 by reallyhotguy

[Mme. Chaucer]

Can I borrow $2876.59?

[aj22one]

I like how the last few threads I've been in have involved (or devolved into) discussions about money. Which is completely fine with me, because I've been obsessed with it lately. I'm still freaking out about 1.02 which is an insane number to me; my private loan is like 11x that, ****ing wells Fargo are criminals.

 

All financial institutions are criminal, along with their enablers in congress and at the Federal Reserve. It's ok though their little reign of terror will be coming to an end soon when the financial system destroys itself.

[FitChick]

I think the only concern about someone having a newly minted MA would be if they were massively in debt. I've heard scary stories about people with student loans who lose their homes, have their wages garnished and are charged massive amounts of interest for iron clad loans which they can never escape, even through bankruptcy. I heard one guy on the radio who got an advanced degree in library science when he was in his forties, it never helped him make more money, he was now unemployed in his sixties and they were taking his social security payments. Totally legal. It's like the mortgage crisis all over again. Banks win and you lose.

[Jane2011]

My gf is in a PhD program. I didn't meet her online and she didn't tell me until several dates into our relationship. I only have a bachelor's. If I had known about it before I'd probably have been a little intimidated. Not financially (I do fairly well) but intellectually.

 

I know a couple like that who just got married and are expecting their first kid soon. She has a PhD and he has a Bachelor's. She's always been the one 'chasing' him. (But he does love her; she was just the pursuer, the let's-commit person at first).

 

I think people should only list having a Master's if that's what they expect their partner to have. Otherwise some people might get a little intimidated by people who appear to be throwing their education around and flaunting it.

 

I can see how doing that would be more sensitive. I think people with PhDs and Master's degrees don't necessarily see themselves as intimidating, though, so it doesn't occur to them to take measures to not be intimidating to others. I know that's the case for me. I'm open to dating anybody, really; I just want him to be pretty smart. (I can't stand seeing a guy write like crap...)

 

For the record, my Master's degree is in a liberal arts field, which many people consider not that big a deal.

 

I never thought of purposely not indicating education on my dating profile because I don't/didn't see it as something people would be put off by. I live in a big city and lots of people have Master's degrees. My four closest male friends: one only did high school, two have Bachelor's degrees, one has an M.D. My four closest female friends: Master's, JD, PhD, and Bachelor's degree.

 

In my broader social circle (just at the 'pals'/'acquaintances' level), bunches of them have Master's degrees. I think I know just as many people with a Master's as without one.

[sweetjasmine]

My gf is in a PhD program. I didn't meet her online and she didn't tell me until several dates into our relationship. I only have a bachelor's. If I had known about it before I'd probably have been a little intimidated. Not financially (I do fairly well) but intellectually.

 

I understand feeling intimidated a bit, but it's sort of on you for feeling that way. I've had people make odd remarks about what I must think of them for not having advanced degrees or for not going to top 10 schools, as if anyone with my life experience is automatically going to feel that way, strongly. It's extremely uncomfortable and somewhat irritating. No, I do not believe that people who haven't done what I did are inferior or stupid or uncultured or any of those f-ing things, and it's very frustrating to deal with those kinds of reactions because it seems like the only way to avoid them is to actively hide or lie about my past, all to spare somebody else their own chance at self-deprecation.

 

I think people should only list having a Master's if that's what they expect their partner to have. Otherwise some people might get a little intimidated by people who appear to be throwing their education around and flaunting it.

 

Apparently there's a pull-down menu on some of these sites. Why should somebody have to select Bachelors if they have an advanced degree? Isn't that dishonest?

 

Would you feel comfortable selecting "some college" or "high school degree" for highest level attained just in case it might put somebody off that you have a college degree? Or would you think, "Well, that is pretty much what I did, isn't it?" ?

 

I guess I just find it sad that a person would have to hide something so innocuous (and positive, really) as having attained an advanced degree, as if it makes you a leper or something, because the sheer act of admitting you even have one is evidence of snobbery and flaunting. I've never been the type to twirl my hair, giggle, and pretend I don't know where Canada is on the map just to make some cute guy ask me out on a second date, so this is kind of alien to me.

[oaks]

Ladies men don't care about your master's degree OK???

 

I'm curious why you think all men share your view. It seems unlikely!

[grkBoy]

I think a Masters is something to be proud of, but one should realize it doesn't immediately mean you're ahead of everyone in dating.

 

A guy could have a Masters, but if he's making crappy money doing some kind of menial work, then most women won't care. "You're trying to write a novel while working at Applebees? No thanks...I'll go pursue the MBA over there."

 

For women, it can have a similar affect. I've seen well-educated and successful women lament on how guys overlook them for whoever is "hot and easy". Seen one complain how she has a Masters and worked her butt off to get into management, but the guys she meets only seem to care if she's got a big enough chest and looks great in a mini-skirt.

 

That's life. Dating is a lot of marketing...and you have to put forward what the opposite sex wants. Being educated is meaningless if the potential singles really do not care about that, or they care about it if it means that it leads you to other qualities they do want (like the chances of an MBA being a high-income earner).

[Lostinlife4now]

Not if it's a Online school

 

 

No PhillyDude...Not an online school! I need to be in the classroom HANDS ON....in front of a professor...I like going to school and being with the other students!!!!!

 

And was that a mocking statement?? I hope not!!! I would feel really bad!!!

[GoodOnPaper]

That's life. Dating is a lot of marketing...and you have to put forward what the opposite sex wants. Being educated is meaningless if the potential singles really do not care about that

 

^^^^ That is certainly the truth. My education (PhD) turned out to be a big disadvantage in dating. I also wanted someone highly educated -- but even women in my PhD program wanted the hot popular guys that perhaps they missed out on in college.

 

I don't consider this unusual by any means:

 

I know a couple like that who just got married and are expecting their first kid soon. She has a PhD and he has a Bachelor's. She's always been the one 'chasing' him.

[aj22one]

I understand feeling intimidated a bit, but it's sort of on you for feeling that way. I've had people make odd remarks about what I must think of them for not having advanced degrees or for not going to top 10 schools, as if anyone with my life experience is automatically going to feel that way, strongly. It's extremely uncomfortable and somewhat irritating. No, I do not believe that people who haven't done what I did are inferior or stupid or uncultured or any of those f-ing things, and it's very frustrating to deal with those kinds of reactions because it seems like the only way to avoid them is to actively hide or lie about my past, all to spare somebody else their own chance at self-deprecation.

 

Of course it's on me for feeling that way. I hope I don't come across as some holier than thou victim. I'll admit very accomplished people not just women do sometimes intimidate me. At least at first.

 

 

 

Apparently there's a pull-down menu on some of these sites. Why should somebody have to select Bachelors if they have an advanced degree? Isn't that dishonest?

 

Would you feel comfortable selecting "some college" or "high school degree" for highest level attained just in case it might put somebody off that you have a college degree? Or would you think, "Well, that is pretty much what I did, isn't it?" ?

 

I guess I just find it sad that a person would have to hide something so innocuous (and positive, really) as having attained an advanced degree, as if it makes you a leper or something, because the sheer act of admitting you even have one is evidence of snobbery and flaunting. I've never been the type to twirl my hair, giggle, and pretend I don't know where Canada is on the map just to make some cute guy ask me out on a second date, so this is kind of alien to me.

 

I'm talking about mentioning it in a way that makes it seem like you like to flaunt your advanced education. It's hard to describe. Most people don't do this but it does happen.

[Els]

I don't know maybe going out of their way to IMPRESS me with something that is irrelevant? Looks and personality is much more important. You have a master's and ugly then what?

 

Then maybe you can actually formulate sentences without sounding like a 6-year-old?

 

Oh, wait, that's just everyone except you. Not related to masters degrees. My bad.

[stillafool]

OkC is full of master's and PhD's.

 

Hmmm, apparently these people have trouble finding dates. Interesting. Isn't there a dating site for highly educated people to meet each other?

Edited February 27, 2012 by stillafool

[zengirl]

Hmmm, apparently these people have trouble finding dates. Interesting. Isn't there a dating site for highly educated people to meet each other?

 

Not necessarily. OKC does have a higher educated population than other dating sites, but I don't think that says anything about overall percentages of singles on dating sites and education levels. OKC also has more atheists than other dating sites but far more Christians use dating sites on average, for example. Statistically, even if that observation were 100% correct, it would be meaningless to your assertion here. It's a bad inference.

 

A higher education level actually makes you statistically more likely to marry and stay married, though you're likely to marry later in life. Besides, plenty of people on dating sites don't "have trouble" finding dates.

 

That said, I think it's possible the poster who said OKC was full of people with advanced degrees might also just have an algorithm in his selection that makes him see those people more often (you see most of the same 'types' on OKC---if you use it correctly and it works for you with your questions, they should ideally be close-ish to the 'types' that are right for you). I found I saw many people with higher education and almost all educated people, but there were certainly men on OKC who messaged me who didn't even go to college. I just wasn't going to SEE them since they were filtered out for me.

[stillafool]

Thanks Zengirl for clearing that up for me. I don't visit dating sites because I am married. Interesting to hear how those sites work.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If a woman has an advanced degree and decides against mentioning it (or "flaunting" it) because she fears putting off guys like the OP, then she is in for a dismal dating experience.

 

She should be happy to weed them out as swiftly as possible.

 

She needs to be dating men who actually think it's cool that she accomplished this, regardless of their own level of education - not guys who think she's an idiot if she is proud of it and that she should mainly be concerned with her looks and how good she is in bed.

 

That's pretty sad.

[Ranchero44]

I try to avoid throwing educational levels out there right away; it just makes for fertile ground for pre-judgments, pre-conceptions, and assumptions. I have completed many years of school but I don't like "drop down" menus on dating sites that force you to disclose your level of education. I have dated men who didn't even finish high school who were smarter, savvier, and sexier than guys I dated with PhDs. I hate getting into that whole "highest level of education completed" game. It makes me really uncomfortable.