Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 The last time I sat down and spoke to her about this was about 2 weeks ago. She said she just want to be happy! What that meant exactly I dot know but I a assuming without me. She still could not tell me she loved me. We also talked about taxes and other s**T but there were no guarantees to anything. She also said she doesnt want to strig me along and my response was your not stringing me along. In talking about what to do with next years taxes she mentioned maybe we will be back together by next year. Alot of things were said but nothing accomplished or in stone. I think she is as confused as I am. My wife and I always have a way of saying many things we dont mean. Like a game! I know its not and I realize that now but thats how things were between us for a long time. neither one of us want to let our uard down to certain things. Its like we think if we do we are goig to be the weaker party and get taken advantage of. The only progress I have made is not seeig or talking to her for the past three days...Thats all I see Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 she just text me about 10 min ao asking what my plans are for my bday.whats you guys suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 also just got off the phone with my mom. she said she spoke to her last week and she said she is not sure if she is going to take me back. I asked my mom who initiated that conversation cause I always tell her not to say anything or ask about it with the wife. She said my wife just came out and said it. Also, I dont know if you read it but I am off match.com Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 really??? ignore it! What`s it got to do with her??? REALLY?! I think she is askig cause she ay have something on the agenda. Should I still ignore it? seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 damn keyboard doesnt like M's and n's! incase you guys havent noticed! Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 REALLY?! I think she is askig cause she ay have something on the agenda. Like what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 dont know but I know she is asking for a reason. I know her good enough to atleast know that. maybe to have a cake at the house gift? Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 dont know but I know she is asking for a reason. I know her good enough to atleast know that. maybe to have a cake at the house gift? How do you normally answer these kinds of questions? You both seem to have your own kind of code. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 i dont know how to multi quote still.....( and betweeen me and you hurts.... i`m not bothered !!) mums never lie. EVER Listen hurts,. the fact she is even still talking to your mum is a BIG plus...... SHE STILL CARES!!!!! you read what DOT(itggers) put??? yes?... If not ..go re-read it. There are sooooo many plus signs its unreal!! i haven`t given up because of it.... YOU still have a chance... Just dont be a see you next tuesday...and your`ll be fine which one? which page coops? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 How do you normally answer these kinds of questions? You both seem to have your own kind of code. lol! I would probably tell her there is nothing written in stone. Whats up? Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 lol! I would probably tell her there is nothing written in stone. Whats up? Ok, then that's how you answer it and go to what she has planned. I've read your thread (jesus it's long ) and you are doing well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 lol...u guys are f**ked up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 well she text back and said, just wondering not sure if u wanted to go out or made plas to do so or if u wanted to be with the kids.How should I take that? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 wiping ya ass next Coop, if you start wiping his butt: that's going to say as much about you as it does him ha ha. HSB: If I didn't have to run real soon, I'd write half a page but I've got to take off. The thing with your mother is good actually. It shows that she's still thinking of it as a possibility. Plus shes still shaking the tree for contact. That's something. You two are talking past each other. 1. Get in with those kids more! If the license is an issue, get rolling on that court thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 told her I want to come up but dont have much cash. She said, "well let me know what you want to do. If you want to come up "WE" will be here" Told her no I am coming just dont have much $$ to do much when there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 just text me back.Its your birthday dont worry about that. We will cook for u sunday. U dont need money Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 well she text back and said, just wondering not sure if u wanted to go out or made plas to do so or if u wanted to be with the kids.How should I take that? She wants to know if you've made any plans so that she can make appropriate arrangements and let the kids know. HSB, I think you're not in a position to make any kind of major decisions because you are on an emotional rollercoaster and withdrawing from addictions. So even small decisions like this are being blown out of proportion. This is a minor decision, however it's the kind of decision you need to make and carry out in full. So, what do you want to do for your birthday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 She wants to know if you've made any plans so that she can make appropriate arrangements and let the kids know. HSB, I think you're not in a position to make any kind of major decisions because you are on an emotional rollercoaster and withdrawing from addictions. So even small decisions like this are being blown out of proportion. This is a minor decision, however it's the kind of decision you need to make and carry out in full. So, what do you want to do for your birthday? I want to see her and the kids..read my last post what she said to me in case you missed it.. Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I want to see her and the kids..read my last post what she said to me in case you missed it.. Yeah, crossposting. Ok, you've made your decision so now focus on carrying it out. Think of what you want to do with the kids to make it an enjoyable day NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 Coop, if you start wiping his butt: that's going to say as much about you as it does him ha ha. HSB: If I didn't have to run real soon, I'd write half a page but I've got to take off. The thing with your mother is good actually. It shows that she's still thinking of it as a possibility. Plus shes still shaking the tree for contact. That's something. You two are talking past each other. 1. Get in with those kids more! If the license is an issue, get rolling on that court thing. I already have that in motion! Probation is dragging their ass so I went over there heads and wrote a letter to the judge. Waiting on a response for a court date or eeting with him. crossing my fingers he considers it and allows me too! That would be one major accomplishment! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 12, 2012 Author Share Posted April 12, 2012 Yeah, crossposting. Ok, you've made your decision so now focus on carrying it out. Think of what you want to do with the kids to make it an enjoyable day NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I dont know why my latest post didnt show but..I told the wife I dont have much cash to do anything. She told me its ur birthday we will cook for you...You dont need money... Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 I dont know why my latest post didnt show but..I told the wife I dont have much cash to do anything. She told me its ur birthday we will cook for you...You dont need money... I already read your post, that was my response to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts_so_bad Posted April 12, 2012 Author Share Posted April 12, 2012 oh I didnt think it came up! sorry! I am letting this get to my head and thats not good! the fact that she invited me to dinner for my birthday doesnt really mean much does it? Or am I not being optiistic enough? Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 oh I didnt think it came up! sorry! I am letting this get to my head and thats not good! the fact that she invited me to dinner for my birthday doesnt really mean much does it? Or am I not being optiistic enough? See bold. HSB, you're clinging onto every decision and every minor event as if it's life or death. It's not. It's just a birthday party. So calm down, relax, take a deep breath. This birthday party is not going to save your marriage, nor is it going to lead straight to divorce, it's a day out with the kids. Ok. So think of how you'd like to make the most of the day and enjoy being with the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 HSB - Go enjoy your birthday with your kids and stop having any expectations. Don't talk to her about what you want, don't ask her what she wants....enjoy time with your kids and don't show her your bad side. The bad side comes out when we can't have what we want...when she isn't doing what you wish she would do. Realize that you cannot control this situation, you can't make things happen the way you want. Once she realizes that you are not trying to control the situation or make it about you, she may be more open to talk amicably. Link to post Share on other sites
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