broken heart and confused

[shawna]

I have a question: here is what happened, I had a car accident in November and since then I made some VERY bad mistakes, I lost my drivers license and I made an agreement with the love of my life that if I got picked up three times, we would break up---needless to say I messed up and we broke up. Losing him broke my heart REALLY bad. Then I took two of his checks--I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me, I spent $2000, I paid him the money back, but now I need to know how to get him back because he says he can't trust me. I did get my drivers license back and all of my bills are paid off, even my vehicle, I have two jobs again. All of this was an issue because he said I was irresponsible. Well I also have my own house to live in--renting it, ALONE. I miss him and I don't know how to get him back. He still thinks that I took his Lucky jeans, the ones I bought for him---I did not take them and I don't know where they are, but he is convinced that I have them---how do I get him back. I have been with out him since March 25, 2000. In that time without him I tried to kill myself because I am SO depressed without him. please help me. What do I do. Everyone says--"get over him, in time you will" But, I don't want to. For the first time in my 25 years alive I have found the man of my dreams. I don't want anyone but him and I have tried to do everything to not think of him, but I still do. Also, I do call and talk to him and he just doesn't care....HELP!!!

[Tony T]

Did you read what you wrote?????????????????

 

Don't you have any understanding about the kind of ladies men stay as far away from as possible?????????????????

 

Men stay as far away as possible from women who steal their checks and write $2,000 for the purpose of hurting them. That is insane behavior, in my opinion, and very much against the law.

 

Men stay as far away as possible from women who "need to know how to get him back because he says he can't trust me." (Directly, word for word, from your post) Why would you expect him to trust you after these capers???

 

The things you have done would terrify Al Capone or Charles Manson if you were their girlfriend.

 

I can't offer you much advice on getting this guy back. But I do recommend you adopt a new set of ethics and morals. I recommend that you adopt new and more morally acceptable ways of expressing anger. I hope you will take some time out to take inventory of your entire way of looking at and relating to the world, and all of your behavior. I mean, where did you learn these types of actions?

 

Find an older woman who has some principles who can teach you. Get involved with a church. Do some volunteer work. Being a sociopath is not the way to a man's heart but it sure is a great way to life in prison.

 

I know beneath all this yuky behavior you have got to be a nice, sweet person who wants love. But you are so far off on your way of getting it. If I knew where you were, I'd jump in my car now and try to give you some thoughts on a new life for your consideration. I have got to believe nobody ever took the time while you were growing up to teach you right and wrong, to teach you strategies for getting along in the world, etc. You have got to learn these. Please take the time and find someone who will share these with you. Practice treating people fairly, honestly, morally, etc., and people will trust you and love you.

 

The way to get this man's trust, in this lifetime or in lifetimes to come, is to change your whole way of thinking and your whole way of dealing with people in the world. Stop stealing, stop trying to get back at people, chill out, start showing more compassion, love and forgiveness for others and they will show a lot more of same to you. WHEN YOU CHANGE, HE WILL SEE THE CHANGES or certainly hear about them.

 

Please don't ever think about killing yourself. You have many great years to go and you have time to make the changes necessary for a great life. Remember, put out love and understanding into the world and it will come back to you many times over.

 

Keep putting out the crap you've been putting out and surely you will get the same back...MANY TIMES OVER!!!

 

Cheer up and start a new life, NOW!!!

[Deejette]

I know you would like some helpful hint about getting him back, but once trust is gone, it is hard to earn it back, ever. What can you do to earn back his trust? If he still thinks you have his jeans, maybe you should buy him a new pair. Do everything you can to make his life happy. If that means staying away from him, then do that too.

 

He has to be the one to come after you if he wants you. But you really blew it with him, so you may have to chalk it up to experience and vow not to treat the next man in your life like that. I mean, ask yourself, "What have I done so this man will love me?" Sounds like not much. So then, why should he love you? Just because you want him to? You can't make someone love you just because you want them to. If we could, this website wouldn't exist.

Did you read what you wrote?????????????????

 

Don't you have any understanding about the kind of ladies men stay as far away from as possible?????????????????

 

Men stay as far away as possible from women who steal their checks and write $2,000 for the purpose of hurting them. That is insane behavior, in my opinion, and very much against the law.

 

Men stay as far away as possible from women who "need to know how to get him back because he says he can't trust me." (Directly, word for word, from your post) Why would you expect him to trust you after these capers??? The things you have done would terrify Al Capone or Charles Manson if you were their girlfriend.

 

I can't offer you much advice on getting this guy back. But I do recommend you adopt a new set of ethics and morals. I recommend that you adopt new and more morally acceptable ways of expressing anger. I hope you will take some time out to take inventory of your entire way of looking at and relating to the world, and all of your behavior. I mean, where did you learn these types of actions? Find an older woman who has some principles who can teach you. Get involved with a church. Do some volunteer work. Being a sociopath is not the way to a man's heart but it sure is a great way to life in prison. I know beneath all this yuky behavior you have got to be a nice, sweet person who wants love. But you are so far off on your way of getting it. If I knew where you were, I'd jump in my car now and try to give you some thoughts on a new life for your consideration. I have got to believe nobody ever took the time while you were growing up to teach you right and wrong, to teach you strategies for getting along in the world, etc. You have got to learn these. Please take the time and find someone who will share these with you. Practice treating people fairly, honestly, morally, etc., and people will trust you and love you.

 

The way to get this man's trust, in this lifetime or in lifetimes to come, is to change your whole way of thinking and your whole way of dealing with people in the world. Stop stealing, stop trying to get back at people, chill out, start showing more compassion, love and forgiveness for others and they will show a lot more of same to you. WHEN YOU CHANGE, HE WILL SEE THE CHANGES or certainly hear about them. Please don't ever think about killing yourself. You have many great years to go and you have time to make the changes necessary for a great life. Remember, put out love and understanding into the world and it will come back to you many times over. Keep putting out the crap you've been putting out and surely you will get the same back...MANY TIMES OVER!!! Cheer up and start a new life, NOW!!!