Mama e Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Hello everyone. I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years, we have a one year old son together . I have caught him talking to his ex 3.5 years ago when we first got back together then a ye at later texting some random girl . We broke up for a few weeks and worked thru it. a year ago I had.caught him lying about doing coke which he until that point denief everdoing it. Now he is the type that wont come clean unlesa caight red handed. Recently he has been getting violent with me oit of no where he starys arguments at times over nothing some days he will tell me hes guna treat me better and others I feel he doesnt want to be around me. Every 3 months he will break up with me for a week nd go out to party with a certain friend who also uses coke. He tells me all the time he loves me but then other times his actions make me feel dif. I notice him staying up late and his ocd seems to get worse also at times. Everytime I ask him a ? Nd he feels I accuse him of something even when im not he is totally defensice and asks why I dnt trust him. I need help I cant keep feeling rhis way Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 If you don't want to feel thus way anymore then gather up all of your strength and leave. The fact that he will not admit to things unless caught redhanded is enough right there. I know it is super-hard to leave someone so heavily on the defensive and blaming you. It isn't you. Want the proof? You wouldn't treat him like that if he was treating you the way you treat him. Run for the hills. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Don't stay with a bf that's abusive and uses drugs. Your child doesn't need that kind of environment to deal with, and neither do you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mama e Posted February 27, 2012 Author Share Posted February 27, 2012 I dnt mean physically more of verbally in,my face and mentally. Nothing in front of my son Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You really want to stay with someone who's emotionally and verbally abusive and uses cocaine? Even if it's not done in front of your son? Doesn't sound like a good plan to me. If you were married to the guy, I'd say you should get help for your husband and work through this, but you're not married to him, so I don't see the point in putting up with this. Link to post Share on other sites
SongOfAWoman Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I would be terrified of Child Services finding out about him and coming in and taking my child. Coke users don't always tend to be careful about leaving stuff around either. The consequences could be deadly. And he will get much, much worse before he gets better. Been there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
care4sober Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Here's my advice-Talk to him and tell him how you feel. But, choose the time when he is feeling good or he is sober. Use kind words when asking. Maybe, he can also tell you about his addiction if you talk about it while not fighting. Link to post Share on other sites
Diamonds&Rust Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I would be terrified of Child Services finding out about him and coming in and taking my child. You can't have your children taken away just because you use illegal drugs or someone in your home uses illegal drugs. That's not intrinsically abusive or neglectful. I am not speculating with that one. I am speaking from professional experience working closely with Child Welfare. The requirements for intervention are quite high and taking away your children is not a first-line intervention in cases like this. Coke users don't always tend to be careful about leaving stuff around either. A case for neglect could be made if there's a pattern of illegal drugs being left around unsupervised children. It doesn't sound like that's the case here, where someone's secretly using cocaine with a friend elsewhere. As far as the OP is concerned, it really doesn't matter whether your partner loves you or not. This is not a relationship worth saving. Your son will be fine without this person in your life! In time, you will be fine also--better even. Link to post Share on other sites
care4sober Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 It's been months since you posted. How are you Mama E? I hope you're doing well now. Link to post Share on other sites
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