Not sure what to think.

[BDranger]

I was deployed last year. I got back and met my buddy's sister and things went off great. Fast forward I have her drive 4 hours to the my ball and she admits having feelings and felt that I "rejected" her kissing me. After that she had a few days of NC and eventually started texting and we worked things out. We had already planned to have her come see my family the next week and instead I went to her place and finally had sex with her and all the signs were there.

 

The first questionable sign was I was with her at the bar she worked at and her co-worker asked if we were dating. I looked at her, she stayed looking down and eventually said no. I left her apartment that same day and for the next few weeks communication from her end dropped off significantly, however she still replied to almost all of my texts.

 

I called her and asked where this is going and her first reply is "nowhere, i like you but i have school and work and it cant work right now." I left her a voicemail a few days later pretty much saying "its okay your busy, I like you, maybe later."

 

Not even 2 weeks later she comments on my facebook status and I say in a private message I need space I wanted a relationship, I thought you did and I thought our last call was a closure. Her response to is the first time I have had her get emotional with me. She ends up calling me insane, immature and rediculous and deletes me off friends. (yeah...) The next couple messages I send her are first to see what she understood from what I said and then a 4 days later said a "hey hows it goin" just to see if she'd bite.

 

I try to call her for her birthday a day early, call drops and we end up texting a bit.

 

I think lookin back I really should not have said anything more but I got the brillant idea to say hey, Ill wait for you, we can work through this miscommunication. She just replies "what are you talkin about".

 

I say this messaging isnt working, I have a phone. She texts the exact same message and I ask her to explain what her message was from the "break up" call and she wanted me to move on, apparently. We go on a little more and she says she met a new guy (not 100% on timeframe but at or sometime after our "break up" call) and shes now dating him and doesnt want me to "ruin anything" for her. We send back a few more messages and Im not saying anything more than thats great im happy for you, I found someone too and I think a "hey i found a guy, sorry" is preferable to "im busy". She gives attitude, again, calling me delusional and crazy in my own way.

 

So, I've never had her give me any sort of emotional reaction before. I don't think I've said anything outright wrong. I'm good friends with her brother and he said she was stressed and wanting to quit school and was just being a bitch really.

 

What I'm wondering is: did she just want to be friends? Keep me on a leash? What??

 

She has told me flat out she is afraid of relationships (and during our weekend together she told me of her dark history with men) however she is dating this guy now. Which I think is really fast for her. I took my time and had sex at about 7 months. I guess we were friends but I saw all the signs. I am leaving some details out because I think some are irrelevant but just ask!

[lostboy11]

Well, I don't think you can be certain of what she felt at one time. Feelings change. I think she genuinely had interest. Maybe it wasn't "relationship" material type interest, but she clearly liked you. Without trying to make you feel more badly than you maybe already do, I think this might be a situation where she just found some other guy. Sometimes they do have too much going on and it's just that, but usually it's because either there is someone else or there is the possibility of someone else, or they think they want the possibility of someone else to be there for whenever they want. Hard to say, really. Not that you asked for advice on this, but I think you should really put her out of your mind. I'm sure you thought she was great and all, but sounds like there's not much potential there for you. If you keep contacting her you're just going to inflict damage on yourself. It's just going to keep coming up as her disinterested. Sorry man. I hope you find someone better in the near future.