somedude81 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 How many single and looking ladies out there (yourself or somebody you know) have zero options. Meaning, you know without a doubt that there are no men who want to date you or her. ---- This issue is my pet peeve and seems to get me the most hate on this forum. So this thread is designed to make things clear once and for all. My belief is that every woman who is single, can name a few guys off the top of her head who want a relationship (not sex) with her. Surprise me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I agree with you, but I suspect V will claim otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 My belief is that every woman who is single, can name a few guys off the top of her head who want a relationship (not sex) with her. It doesn't matter, if she doesn't want to date him... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Just because someone has options does not mean those options are good ones. I have options...but am not into my options at all...so Im happily single =) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Just because someone has options does not mean those options are good ones. I have options...but am not into my options at all...so Im happily single =) If you don't mind maybe you could give those options to some of the more needy men here. We could call it "spread the dating options around" or "communist dating". Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 The question they have to ask themselves is: Do they want to have a relationship with those men? Would you get into a relationship with a "fat, ugly" girl? Probably not. Look at it from the woman's point of view. Think about all the guys that women could date but won't. Chances are, they are probably not all that great. They might not be jerks, but it's likely that they are doing something unconsciously that is turning off said woman. That must be equally as frustrating as having no options. We could sit here and argue that women have too high standards all day, but the fact is, if we didn't have the standards we already have, we would probably be dating somebody right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) Just because someone has options does not mean those options are good ones. I have options...but am not into my options at all...so Im happily single =) Is there anything actually wrong with the options, or are they just not 'good enough' for you? The question they have to ask themselves is: Do they want to have a relationship with those men? Would you get into a relationship with a "fat, ugly" girl? Probably not. Look at it from the woman's point of view. Think about all the guys that women could date but won't. Chances are, they are probably not all that great. They might not be jerks, but it's likely that they are doing something unconsciously that is turning off said woman. That must be equally as frustrating as having no options. We could sit here and argue that women have too high standards all day, but the fact is, if we didn't have the standards we already have, we would probably be dating somebody right now. I'd say chances are, they aren't that bad at all. I agree with you, but I suspect V will claim otherwise. Actually, I'm sure even V can name a couple of guys in the past few months who have expressed an interest in dating her. Edited February 28, 2012 by somedude81 Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'm not single now, but when I was, there were no guys I could think of who wanted to date me. All the guys I knew were either taken or off-limits (coworkers, friends of an ex, an ex of a friend, etc). That's why I did OLD for so long. I know many women who are in the same situation. Is there anything actually wrong with the options, or are they just not 'good enough' for you? I'd say chances are, they aren't that bad at all. And how the hell do you know? Have you met these guys? Do you know anything about them? For all you know, they're alcoholic deadbeat criminals or underachieving potheads who are so fried they can't even string together a coherent sentence. Or maybe they're just "fat and ugly" as you'd say. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'm not single now, but when I was, there were no guys I could think of who wanted to date me. All the guys I knew were either taken or off-limits (coworkers, friends of an ex, an ex of a friend, etc). That's why I did OLD for so long. I know many women who are in the same situation. And how the hell do you know? Have you met these guys? Do you know anything about them? For all you know, they're alcoholic deadbeat criminals or underachieving potheads who are so fried they can't even string together a coherent sentence. Or maybe they're just "fat and ugly" as you'd say. I think SD is making the assumption that because there's so many "decent guys" on LS that complain about lacking dates and since there's nothing glaringly wrong with us that there's probably more guys like us out there. So therefore there are probably a bunch of lonely decent guys out there that women are passing up. I think he's sort of right, but I think he overestimates on the math a bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'd say chances are, they aren't that bad at all. Then you would be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) If you don't mind maybe you could give those options to some of the more needy men here. We could call it "spread the dating options around" or "communist dating". Trust me, you would not want these options at all. They are either unattractive or have loads of baggage. Is there anything actually wrong with the options, or are they just not 'good enough' for you? Saying they arent good enough for me would be snobbish on my part. If you want to oversimplify then I guess you could say that...but theres reasons for why. Either I dont find these women attractive, or they have baggage, or we have conflicting lifestyles. But thats life...you cant click with everyone. Edited February 28, 2012 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think SD is making the assumption that because there's so many "decent guys" on LS that complain about lacking dates and since there's nothing glaringly wrong with us that there's probably more guys like us out there. So therefore there are probably a bunch of lonely decent guys out there that women are passing up. I think he's sort of right, but I think he overestimates on the math a bit. I think the problem is that all these self-proclaimed "decent guys" don't realize how much they are lacking in the personality and social skills departments. They're overestimating their own worth, to be perfectly blunt. I can think of many things that are glaringly wrong with somedude, for example, but he's in denial about all of them. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think the problem is that all these self-proclaimed "decent guys" don't realize how much they are lacking in the personality and social skills departments. They're overestimating their own worth, to be perfectly blunt. I can think of many things that are glaringly wrong with somedude, for example, but he's in denial about all of them. Agreed. Although I wouldn't say they are overestimating their worth, but perhaps overcompensating for their fears and insecurities. They also feel they don't need to improve different aspects of their life at all, or feel that they can't and tell themselves they can't, when they actually can. Everyone can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think the problem is that all these self-proclaimed "decent guys" don't realize how much they are lacking in the personality and social skills departments. They're overestimating their own worth, to be perfectly blunt. I can think of many things that are glaringly wrong with verzhrn, for example, but she's in denial about all of them. Fixed! 10char Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think the problem is that all these self-proclaimed "decent guys" don't realize how much they are lacking in the personality and social skills departments. They're overestimating their own worth, to be perfectly blunt. I can think of many things that are glaringly wrong with somedude, for example, but he's in denial about all of them. I see. Social skills and the ability to turn a woman on are very important. Unlike many posters on here I think they are predominately genetic or behavior patterned from a very early age and not likely to be changed or improved upon once someone gets into adulthood. A lot of the frustration SD expresses is simply frustration at the fact that he can't change. Not won't, just physically can't. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Why do you even bother asking this stuff? You will dismiss anything anyone says that differs from your beliefs. It's pointless. I told you in the other thread, I was single for THREE YEARS. I did NOT have guys lining up to date me. I am attractive, smart, funny, employed, etc. I dated around, but met a lot of emotionally unavailable guys (which I will not settle for!) or guys who drank too much or guys who wanted to play the field. I am 28, this was 25, 26, and 27. Why can't you just let this idea go? Why can't you just accept that women are NOT handed relationships on silver platters? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I see. Social skills and the ability to turn a woman on are very important. Unlike many posters on here I think they are predominately genetic or behavior patterned from a very early age and not likely to be changed or improved upon once someone gets into adulthood. A lot of the frustration SD expresses is simply frustration at the fact that he can't change. Not won't, just physically can't. I disagree. I think the fact that you think this is the only reason why you won't change or improve. You don't actually believe it. If you think and believe you can't do something, it's likely you won't be able to do it. If you believe you can and think you can, it's very likely that you will soon be able to do it. Simples . If what you are saying is true, then I should perhaps be in a language unit for special kids debating about Pokemon and Arsenal Football Club Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Why do you even bother asking this stuff? You will dismiss anything anyone says that differs from your beliefs. It's pointless. I told you in the other thread, I was single for THREE YEARS. I did NOT have guys lining up to date me. I am attractive, smart, funny, employed, etc. I dated around, but met a lot of emotionally unavailable guys (which I will not settle for!) or guys who drank too much or guys who wanted to play the field. I am 28, this was 25, 26, and 27. Why can't you just let this idea go? Why can't you just accept that women are NOT handed relationships on silver platters? I am 25 now and have not been in a committed relationship in over a year. I think I will be you. 24, 25, 26. I think am having bad karma from past bad choices. BTW, I am educated, pretty and I think I am pretty fun and the only guys that have wanted relationships with me in the past 6 moths are: 1- a 39 year old. At 25, completely out of my age range of people I would see myself with. 2- a 33 year old aspiring actor/model who is extremely effeminate (possibly gay) who lied to me about being 33 and insisted he was 27 until i confronted him with clear evidence and he had to fess up. He also believes in really strange things (Like the light bulb that gives off radiation and gives him headaches if some of you remember that). 3- a 33 year old who smokes pot 3-5 days a week and lies to his family about where he lives for some strange reason. 4- A guy who I find extremely attractive. He is 30, a resident (doctor) in physical medicine, gorgeous, funny, and dorky ( i love dorks). The problem? He has a girlfriend. Yes he has this weird on and off thing with his girlfriend which I refuse to get in the middle of. Besides, why would I want to date a guy who is willing to cheat on his girlfriend without feeling any remorse whatsoever? He is always bitching about how he wants to leave her but never grows the balls to leave her. Not what i want all... So OP I guess you are right maybe I do have options but seriously, I'd rather be alone for 3 years like vegg girl. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I actually do think that dating is about even for the typical man and typical woman. But, why is it that we see so many more "down on my luck can't get a date/never kissed a girl/I'm a mid 20s virgin" threads from men rather than from women. And, why is it the men are judged for their inexperience more than women? Something is off here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 II can think of many things that are glaringly wrong with somedude, for example, but he's in denial about all of them. You got my attention. Go ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 The thing is, lets say hypothetically speaking I agree with you SD... .. So what? Congratulations. You've identified yet another way in which the world is not fair. Add it to the pile and move on. You remind me of the guy that gets onto a soccer field and complains endlessly that he's not allowed to pick up the ball. I think if anything you need counselling if only to help provide an external influence from the toxic scripts you have running in your head. "I'm short, women don't want me" "I'm unattractive, women don't want me" "Women are too picky, I'll never be good enough for them" "I can't change, it's pointless. It never makes a difference" "Why should I bother trying, it never makes a difference anyway..." See where I'm going with this? It's your attitude that's poisoned you. Much like V... I actually really feel for both you guys, because for one reason or another you're trapped in this endless, self-punishing cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 The thing is, lets say hypothetically speaking I agree with you SD... .. So what? Congratulations. You've identified yet another way in which the world is not fair. Add it to the pile and move on. Do I win? Yay! As I said in the OP when ever I express the belief that women have options, several women get on my case about it. Every, single, time. For this issue, I just want women to admit that the world isn't fair. I think if anything you need counselling if only to help provide an external influence from the toxic scripts you have running in your head. "I'm short, women don't want me" "I'm unattractive, women don't want me" "Women are too picky, I'll never be good enough for them" "I can't change, it's pointless. It never makes a difference" "Why should I bother trying, it never makes a difference anyway..." See where I'm going with this? It's your attitude that's poisoned you. Much like V... I actually really feel for both you guys, because for one reason or another you're trapped in this endless, self-punishing cycle. What I need is a GF. I need real tangible evidence to accept that the world tells me isn't true. Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Do I win? Yay! For this issue, I just want women to admit that the world isn't fair. Why? So they admit it or they don't? What difference does it make? Why not just let it go and move on? That's a serious question. Really stop for a minute and ask yourself.. "Why does it matter so much they agree the world isn't fair?" What I need is a GF. I need real tangible evidence to accept that the world tells me isn't true. Re-read the above statement. You're basically saying "I require the affection of a woman to define my worth as a person" You can't fill that gaping hole in your heart with another person SD. I get that you "want" a relationship.. but after reading many, *many* of your posts here.. you just don't seem ready for one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 But, why is it that we see so many more "down on my luck can't get a date/never kissed a girl/I'm a mid 20s virgin" threads from men rather than from women. I'm generalizing, but in my experiences men are a lot more vocal about being single than women. We will express every negative thought and emotion we have. Women are the opposite, they seem to to get sad and depressed and turn it all inward("silently bear it"). And, why is it the men are judged for their inexperience more than women? Something is off here. IMO society still expects us to be confident, bold, & aggressive. In other words it's are fault if we are inexperienced. In some ways i agree, but not in others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 Why? So they admit it or they don't? What difference does it make? Why not just let it go and move on? That's a serious question. Really stop for a minute and ask yourself.. "Why does it matter so much they agree the world isn't fair?" Simply because I don't like being attacked. As for the thread, only a couple of girls said that they didn't have guys chasing them. Link to post Share on other sites
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