Dying on the inside...

[classic_356]

Hello,

 

I'm a long time lurker on this board and have come to respect the advice given by many of the old-timers here and would appreciate some insight on my situation.

 

Background: I've been with my fiancee for just over 7 months. Got engaged earlier this month. She is almost 6 months pregnant, we've lived together for just over 6 months as well. We met online, I fell hard for her, and we've had a very up and down relationship.

 

In brief, when we first met she was 3 months out of her prior relationship and wasn't over him, ....she told me she wasn't over certain aspects of the relationship with him, but in truth it was him she wasn't over. They were not talking back then. About 6 weeks into our relationship they started texting each other, it went from a few texts a week to 15+ a day. I was hurt. I made my feelings known and she claimed he just wanted to be friends. But I knew better, exes don't text their ex just to be friends. Coupled with the fact that she wasn't completely over him made it that much worse. Just over two months into our relationship he asked her to meet him at a restaurant one night to talk. She told me about it and even said I could come along to 'watch' if I was worried. She said she needed to be able to see him one more time, look him in the eye and know she made the right choice. ...I've had people like my best friend in the world tell me that I should have left her right then, but I couldn't. I was madly in love with her. So the meeting happened, he wanted her back as I knew. She told him no, but that they could be friends, but that they couldn't talk as much as they had been because it was hurting me and wasn't fair.

 

The very next day he's back to texting her again and I get upset. We argue about it we almost break up that day, but when she sees how serious I am about how I feel this is wrong, she says she won't talk to him as much and she's sorry. With someones help, I make it so I can monitor activity on her phone. Over the next month the amount of texts drop significantly, but there is still contact. Middle of Oct we find out she is pregnant. She tells everyone including him. I ask her why she tells him and she says she wants to tell everyone, and that he would be happy for her. Throughout that month her and I continued to fight about things pertaining to him.

 

Finally in the beginning on November, she e-mails him (though this time from her work e-mail) and says that even though they are just friends, that I won't let it go about (that) and that it's not worth the fight anymore and that in so many words, they can't talk anymore. He writes back saying a friend shouldn't have to feel guilty about texting another friend and that she should be able to talk to whoever she wants. I only know about these e-mails because she told me she wrote them about two weeks after the fact. She forwarded to me, and although I'm well aware anything inside of them could have been changed, I don't believe she would have done that, she's not the type to lie, she says whats on her mind and very simply could have lied to me about that night she met up with him, for instance.

 

For two months things were looking up. We still had our arguments like any couple, but the weight that was once there was lifted. Then at the end of January she told me that a couple of weeks ago he had sent her two FWD type e-mails but that neither was addressed to her directly. I asked why she had not told me sooner and she said they didn't mean anything and she honestly forgotten about them. Throughout the months I've brought up, as a matter-of-fact had she heard from him, and with the exception of this one time it's always been a no. But....my stomach still turns every day she is at work. I am always wondering/worried is today the day he is going to e-mail her, or is she e-mailing him and just not telling me.

 

I've never been an insecure guy. I'm in my 30's and have dated and had a number of long-term/steady relationships. I thought I was in love before but after falling in love with her, I realize I never in-love with anyone until her. I'm not generally the type that believes there is only one person out there for you, but with her, that's all changed.

 

I should add that never in the time we've been together has she acted strange, i.e. home later than she should be, didn't come home for the night, taking phone into bathroom, strange phone calls away from me, calls from blocked numbers, etc. We're on F/B and she's always posting sweet things about me (I like to buy her flowers every couple of weeks), and weekends we're together 24/7.

 

Another thing I should mention, she has a thing about keeping in contact with exes. Not close contact (well this guy was the closest) but for instance she was with someone for 4 years and they are still friends on F/B and message each other maybe once a month, if that, and same with a couple others. Her mom has told me that she's always been like this wanting to maintain contact with exes but that she would never cheat and it's just the way she is.

 

Well, if you've gotten this far, thank you, thank you for reading my story. I appreciate any input.

[oldguy]

The obvious question that you can not ask; how sure are you the child is yours?

 

I want to call a BS on the, "we fight like any other couple". BS because just because something is acceptable to you right now does not mean it's common. I know plenty of couples who DO NOT fight & their arguments are debates at best. There are healthy ways couples can negotiate, communicate, share ideas, feelings & concerns. A great exercise is to remove the word, "you" from your arguments. It forces one to not only stop sounding accusatory but forces one to think before they speak. So enough about "arguing like every couple".

 

You don't feel comfortable with this guy for good reasons, he wants your fiance as more than a friend & that should be unacceptable. Have you expressed that to her. A good compromise might be; you will work on your feelings of jealousy about her remaining friends with exes if she will support that effort by cutting them off if they cross a line. One this particular ex has. And then you do have to make some proactive efforts, maybe another compromise is that you meet them as well. My wife has become very good friends with a woman I once dated who has remained my friend. I am actually a little uncomfortable with them talking sometimes,

 

Either that or you & a couple of buddies go to his house & beat the living piss out of him:laugh: JK, please don't do that.

Edited February 28, 2012 by oldguy

[classic_356]

The obvious question that you can not ask; how sure are you the child is yours?

 

I want to call a BS on the, "we fight like any other couple". BS because just because something is acceptable to you right now does not mean it's common. I know plenty of couples who DO NOT fight & their arguments are debates at best. There are healthy ways couples can negotiate, communicate, share ideas, feelings & concerns. A great exercise is to remove the word, "you" from your arguments. It forces one to not only stop sounding accusatory but forces one to think before they speak. So enough about "arguing like every couple".

 

You don't feel comfortable with this guy for good reasons, he wants your fiance as more than a friend & that should be unacceptable. Have you expressed that to her. A good compromise might be; you will work on your feelings of jealousy about her remaining friends with exes if she will support that effort by cutting them off if they cross a line. One this particular ex has. And then you do have to make some proactive efforts, maybe another compromise is that you meet them as well. My wife has become very good friends with a woman I once dated who has remained my friend. I am actually a little uncomfortable with them talking sometimes,

 

Either that or you & a couple of buddies go to his house & beat the living piss out of him:laugh: JK, please don't do that.

 

I am positive this baby is mine.

 

I've expressed that to her many times. That's where the arguing usually comes in. She tells me that she doesn't want someone telling her what to do or trying to control her. At least that was the case till November when she finally decided it just wasn't worth us having weekly (or more) arguments about this. I don't there will ever be a meeting with him, I think that would actually make me feel worse...worse in the sense of I want him to be a distance memory in her mind, not a renewed friendship.

 

Even though we're together every day, I miss her every day, and I tell her so and I worry that I am trying to overcompensate by showering her with affection in an effortless way to keep him from contacting her. In a few months she will be going on maternity leave and even on that I am split. Part of me is happy because she'll be home with the baby and have her focus on him (the baby) but part of me still worries that she would still log in to her work e-mail and 'what if' he e-mails her.

 

I realize this is very unhealthy, for me to feel and think like this, I just don't know how to refocus. And I'm really not the jealous type. I'm okay with her remaining friends with the other exes, though part of that might be because they have moved far far away.

[classic_356]

I assumed the two of you were teens reading that. But anyway, I strongly suggest you get a paternity test on this child and any future children you have with this woman.

 

No .... early 30's, late 20's. I know we moved fast.

 

I feel like if I were to get one, it's me saying "I don't trust you".

[oldguy]

Most of the time it's not what we say but the way we say it. It's all about perception.

 

You & her did everything text book wrong in the beginning so at the risk of sounding redundant in these threads; have you considered relationship counselling with some focus on negotiation skills? Again, it's not what we say but how we come across saying it. Example; did that sound better than this; "it's not what you say but how you come across saying it"

Edited February 28, 2012 by oldguy

[classic_356]

Most of the time it's not what we say but the way we say it. It's all about perception.

 

You & her did everything text book wrong in the beginning so at the risk of sounding redundant in these threads; have you considered relationship counselling with some focus on negotiation skills? Again, it's not what we say but how we come across saying it. Example; did that sound better than this; "it's not what you say but how you come across saying it"

 

I've started counseling by myself. She told me that it's something that I need...and part of me agrees with her. She feels that I am too dependent on her...the counselor has suggested that my fiancee attend at least one session as well, so that the counselor can get her perspective as well.

 

I know how we started off is not the way to do it. We said I love you within 10 days, she moved in within something like 20 days, we had both just gotten out of relationships, well with her it was 3 months but it may as well of been 'right then' considering the issue we had with that, me it was earlier that month that I broke it off with a g/f of 2 years almost. I don't do well alone, in my 17 years of dating there was probably less than 6 months of combined alone-time between relationships.

[Professor X]

Sorry but you dug this mess with your own hands. You got her pregnant way to fast (1 month RS?!?!!?), you proposed her, you allowed her to keep being in contact with the ex', you didn't put your foot down as you should of and now you're about to be a dad - That's the point where your choices end.

 

You have got to stick for your kid now and do what you must.

[classic_356]

Sorry but you dug this mess with your own hands. You got her pregnant way to fast (1 month RS?!?!!?), you proposed her, you allowed her to keep being in contact with the ex', you didn't put your foot down as you should of and now you're about to be a dad - That's the point where your choices end.

 

You have got to stick for your kid now and do what you must.

 

You're not the first to tell it to me like that. I keep looking in places for answers I already know. It wasn't like we didn't know what could happen while she was off birth control, and I'm in my 30's not 17, so I need to be responsible for my actions.

 

I do however feel as though I had no choice in 'allowing her to keep being in contact with the ex'. I couldn't, nor would I try, to force her to do something. I know it was wrong of her to keep in contact with someone that A. at some point in our relationship she was not over, and B. had an interest in being more than friends with her....what killed me was how bad of a guy he was to her. He cheated on her multiple times and from everything I know, likely never truly loved her.

 

I have every intention on being a good dad to our son, I don't want to lose him, or her. I want to trust her 100% but the sting of what occurred is still fresh in my mind. How long does it take for someone to fully let go of the pain?

 

...P.S., thank you for all your advice so far.

[veggirl]

Wow my eyes about bugged out of my head when reading this.

 

How do you know the baby is yours, again?

 

And if her being in contact with her "ex" upsets you so much, why does she do it? She is choosing him over you, period. She KNOWS it upsets you. She doesn't care.

 

Seriously dude call of this sham of an engagement.

 

I've been with my BF for the same period of time as you and this chick, we've gotten in 2 fights. You have literally spent almost your entire relationship with her FIGHTING. You guys are NOT compatible. I understand she is preg, but first of all, you better demand a paternity test when that baby is born and second of all, it doesn't mean you two need to be together. You can be a good dad and support your baby (if its not the exes) apart from her. This relationship is dooooooomed.

[veggirl]

I do however feel as though I had no choice in 'allowing her to keep being in contact with the ex'. I couldn't, nor would I try, to force her to do something.

 

Hey you shouldn't have to FORCE her not to do something that upsets you. She should want to make you comfortable. She doesn't care if you are upset about this. She has chosen her ex.

[Professor X]

You're not the first to tell it to me like that. I keep looking in places for answers I already know. It wasn't like we didn't know what could happen while she was off birth control, and I'm in my 30's not 17, so I need to be responsible for my actions.

 

I do however feel as though I had no choice in 'allowing her to keep being in contact with the ex'. I couldn't, nor would I try, to force her to do something. I know it was wrong of her to keep in contact with someone that A. at some point in our relationship she was not over, and B. had an interest in being more than friends with her....what killed me was how bad of a guy he was to her. He cheated on her multiple times and from everything I know, likely never truly loved her.

 

I have every intention on being a good dad to our son, I don't want to lose him, or her. I want to trust her 100% but the sting of what occurred is still fresh in my mind. How long does it take for someone to fully let go of the pain?

 

...P.S., thank you for all your advice so far.

 

I hope you know it has nothing to do with controlling her or telling her what to do. My ex' had the same thing btw, she used to talk to her ex' after she broke up with him due to him cheating on her. Ofc the break up between them wasn't smooth and he was extremely abusing towards her during that time, verbal violence at most. When I spent my first night at her place he called her around middle, they chatted shortly, and as she hang up I told her it was her last time she ever spoke to him again.

I told her this: "After everything you told me about him, it is simply unacceptable for me that you will be in ANY contact with him, phone, sms, fb, pigeon letters - whatever. You are now with me and you are gonna put him behind you for good."

"You can choose now to either accept it or lose me."

 

I don't think it was controlling of me preventing her from talking to an abusive ex', because she has a very good guy friend which I never said a word about cause I trusted them. And nothing ever happened between them anyway.

 

Setting boundaries does not equate controlling.

 

Look at the whole situation this way: You either help her by preventing her from doing harm to herself or you help yourself by not accepting such behaviors.

 

And as Veggirl said, the ideal situation is not to need to even tell her such a thing. She knows it's so destructive to her.

[NoMagicBullet]

No .... early 30's, late 20's. I know we moved fast.

 

I feel like if I were to get one, it's me saying "I don't trust you".

 

Yet you are posting here in the "Cheating, etc" forum about her suspect behavior and an ex who is still in touch with her who maybe she's not over yet. You at least have serious doubts about whether you really can trust her. Under the circumstances, a paternity test is in order!

 

I've started counseling by myself. She told me that it's something that I need...and part of me agrees with her. She feels that I am too dependent on her...the counselor has suggested that my fiancee attend at least one session as well, so that the counselor can get her perspective as well.

 

I know how we started off is not the way to do it. We said I love you within 10 days, she moved in within something like 20 days, we had both just gotten out of relationships, well with her it was 3 months but it may as well of been 'right then' considering the issue we had with that, me it was earlier that month that I broke it off with a g/f of 2 years almost. I don't do well alone, in my 17 years of dating there was probably less than 6 months of combined alone-time between relationships.

 

I am making you my poster boy for why people need to spend some time alone after a break-up and not start dating again right away. If you actually allowed yourself to get past the pain of a breakup on your own, you'd probably find that you actually can do well alone -- and you'd be able to make better choices in your dating life later on.

 

Sorry, but you've gotten yourself into a real mess. There's no good advice I can give except listen to your counselor and get the paternity test.

[classic_356]

I don't know for absolute certain. But I truly believe he is mine. She only met up with her ex the one time and I was there, in the background, the whole time. He lives over an hour and a half away and the texting went down severely after we had a fight after that day. I also during that time had access to her e-mail and texting records and verified there was little to no contact. I know this doesn't prove that I'm right, but I believe I am.

 

That's the problem....I have no proof that she is still in contact with him. She wrote him back in early Nov saying they can't talk anymore and with the exception of two FWD type e-mails he sent to her and other people on the list, there has been zero contact. BUT in my heart, I am always worried/scared that he will write her again at work and what would happen if she doesn't tell me.

 

Even this morning after we argued about this she texted me: "We are having a baby and we're getting married what more do we need to do before this finally ends". ....I feel like this is all in my head, that I'm the one with the problem

 

Thank you for your advice.....but I truly want this to work out. I truly do love her, and I believe she loves me. When we're home together we're inseparable, and she's never not where I would expect her to be.

 

....

 

Wow my eyes about bugged out of my head when reading this.

 

How do you know the baby is yours, again?

 

And if her being in contact with her "ex" upsets you so much, why does she do it? She is choosing him over you, period. She KNOWS it upsets you. She doesn't care.

 

Seriously dude call of this sham of an engagement.

 

I've been with my BF for the same period of time as you and this chick, we've gotten in 2 fights. You have literally spent almost your entire relationship with her FIGHTING. You guys are NOT compatible. I understand she is preg, but first of all, you better demand a paternity test when that baby is born and second of all, it doesn't mean you two need to be together. You can be a good dad and support your baby (if its not the exes) apart from her. This relationship is dooooooomed.

[classic_356]

Hey you shouldn't have to FORCE her not to do something that upsets you. She should want to make you comfortable. She doesn't care if you are upset about this. She has chosen her ex.

 

 

But I have no proof of this other than the thoughts that I can't stop inside of my head. I feel (logically) that if she was talking to him, she'd be trying to make contact at night and weekends too, but I can 100% confirm she is not.

[classic_356]

I wish I had had the nerve like you to do that early on....though I think if I had, I would of lost her. She still cared for me back then, loved me but not enough. We were together less than two months when this all happened, I knew I loved her then, but that was nothing compared to how I feel about her now. Now adadys there really is as close to NC as there would be with the exception of her work e-mail.. and in two months shes going on maternity leave, so she'll be home all day.

 

She has always had this 'issue' with maintaining contacts with exes. Her mom and I sat down in Sept and talked about it, and said that she's always been like this with maintaining contact with exes. Which I do see, basically through F/B..but these guys have long since moved far far away.

 

And setting up boundaries in her mind is me trying to control her and that she should be allowed to talk whoever she wants.

 

 

I hope you know it has nothing to do with controlling her or telling her what to do. My ex' had the same thing btw, she used to talk to her ex' after she broke up with him due to him cheating on her. Ofc the break up between them wasn't smooth and he was extremely abusing towards her during that time, verbal violence at most. When I spent my first night at her place he called her around middle, they chatted shortly, and as she hang up I told her it was her last time she ever spoke to him again.

I told her this: "After everything you told me about him, it is simply unacceptable for me that you will be in ANY contact with him, phone, sms, fb, pigeon letters - whatever. You are now with me and you are gonna put him behind you for good."

"You can choose now to either accept it or lose me."

 

I don't think it was controlling of me preventing her from talking to an abusive ex', because she has a very good guy friend which I never said a word about cause I trusted them. And nothing ever happened between them anyway.

 

Setting boundaries does not equate controlling.

 

Look at the whole situation this way: You either help her by preventing her from doing harm to herself or you help yourself by not accepting such behaviors.

 

And as Veggirl said, the ideal situation is not to need to even tell her such a thing. She knows it's so destructive to her.

[classic_356]

Hey you shouldn't have to FORCE her not to do something that upsets you. She should want to make you comfortable. She doesn't care if you are upset about this. She has chosen her ex.

 

 

But she is the one telling me there is nothing to worry about, that they don 't talk and that she just wishes I would let it go and stop being so clingy

[classic_356]

But I should be clear that there is no longer contact...the few times I asked my fiancee about it, she quietly calmly tell me 'no'...I didn't pick up any negativity from in

 

If I was to go through a paternity test, does she have to know?

 

 

 

Yet you are posting here in the "Cheating, etc" forum about her suspect behavior and an ex who is still in touch with her who maybe she's not over yet. You at least have serious doubts about whether you really can trust her. Under the circumstances, a paternity test is in order!

 

No, that's okay, I listen to all....appreciate your insight.

 

I am making you my poster boy for why people need to spend some time alone after a break-up and not start dating again right away. If you actually allowed yourself to get past the pain of a breakup on your own, you'd probably find that you actually can do well alone -- and you'd be able to make better choices in your dating life later on.

 

Sorry, but you've gotten yourself into a real mess. There's no good advice I can give except listen to your counselor and get the paternity test.

[oldguy]

I've started counseling by myself. She told me that it's something that I need...and part of me agrees with her. She feels that I am too dependent on her...the counselor has suggested that my fiancee attend at least one session as well, so that the counselor can get her perspective as well.

 

I know how we started off is not the way to do it. We said I love you within 10 days, she moved in within something like 20 days, we had both just gotten out of relationships, well with her it was 3 months but it may as well of been 'right then' considering the issue we had with that, me it was earlier that month that I broke it off with a g/f of 2 years almost. I don't do well alone, in my 17 years of dating there was probably less than 6 months of combined alone-time between relationships.

 

You know that even with all the well intention advice here that you need to work with & listen to your Councillor first & foremost?

 

Eventually I suspect you and your wife will need some marriage counselling as well after you get your issues worked out.

 

Your past mistakes will make the road ahead a bit harder & you, & your wife, will have to work a bit harder but with help it's doable.

[classic_356]

Thank you OG....I'd hug you if I could LOL

 

I'm early on in the process with my counselor but even she has said that it would be good to have my fiancee join for at least one session so that the counselor can get opinions from both sides to see what's going on. Ive told my finance about it and we briefly talked about it, nothing set in stone, but I do think she would come to at least one.

 

Thank you again.

 

I don't know if I ever wrote about her schedules, but they're hectic...

Mondays she's gone 13 hours a day

Tuesday she's gone 9 hours

Wednesday gone 13 hours

Thursday she's gone 12 hours

Friday she's gone 8

 

It's a lot of time and maybe it itself shows why I miss her as much as I do.

 

 

You know that even with all the well intention advice here that you need to work with & listen to your Councillor first & foremost?

 

Eventually I suspect you and your wife will need some marriage counselling as well after you get your issues worked out.

 

Your past mistakes will make the road ahead a bit harder & you, & your wife, will have to work a bit harder but with help it's doable.

[fallenenvy]

Just to throw in my 2 cents....

 

I think most people here are way overreacting to the situation.

 

She still sometimes talks to not just him but all her exs.. hasn't tried to hide anything... you even said yourself that you KNOW she isn't cheating.. she isn't ever where she isn't supposed to be etc... doesn't throw any red flags..

 

So that being said i am confused as to why everyone's going "get a paternity test"... I would be beyond upset if my bf wanted one.. would basically say "you're a whore i don't trust you to be faithful to me"

 

I'm also against (contrary to others beliefs) TELLING someone you're with what they can do and who they can see. I think if you trust them and know they arn't gonna drop their pants (or panties) for someone else... then what does it really matter? Guy that tells me who i can see and talk to would be known as an ex bf.

 

Anyway, you have a fiance, and a baby on the way and i think obsessing over this man is unhealthy until she gives you a solid reason to...

 

Good idea with the therapy as well.. i really hope that helps you move past this as i think it is MUCH better advice than anything you can get on here.....id also say id listen more to oldguy.. he seems to be the most realistic and helpful.

[oldguy]

Just to throw in my 2 cents....

 

I think most people here are way overreacting to the situation.

 

She still sometimes talks to not just him but all her exs.. hasn't tried to hide anything... you even said yourself that you KNOW she isn't cheating.. she isn't ever where she isn't supposed to be etc... doesn't throw any red flags..

 

So that being said i am confused as to why everyone's going "get a paternity test"... I would be beyond upset if my bf wanted one.. would basically say "you're a whore i don't trust you to be faithful to me"

 

I'm also against (contrary to others beliefs) TELLING someone you're with what they can do and who they can see. I think if you trust them and know they arn't gonna drop their pants (or panties) for someone else... then what does it really matter? Guy that tells me who i can see and talk to would be known as an ex bf.

 

Anyway, you have a fiance, and a baby on the way and i think obsessing over this man is unhealthy until she gives you a solid reason to...

 

Good idea with the therapy as well.. i really hope that helps you move past this as i think it is MUCH better advice than anything you can get on here.....id also say id listen more to oldguy.. he seems to be the most realistic and helpful.

 

Well thank you:)

AS for the paternity test, I asked him because I wanted to know if he had any question. I also added that was a question he could NEVER ask, (her).

[bikinibeach]

I don't know for absolute certain. But I truly believe he is mine. She only met up with her ex the one time and I was there, in the background, the whole time. He lives over an hour and a half away and the texting went down severely after we had a fight after that day. I also during that time had access to her e-mail and texting records and verified there was little to no contact. I know this doesn't prove that I'm right, but I believe I am.

 

That's the problem....I have no proof that she is still in contact with him. She wrote him back in early Nov saying they can't talk anymore and with the exception of two FWD type e-mails he sent to her and other people on the list, there has been zero contact. BUT in my heart, I am always worried/scared that he will write her again at work and what would happen if she doesn't tell me.

 

Even this morning after we argued about this she texted me: "We are having a baby and we're getting married what more do we need to do before this finally ends". ....I feel like this is all in my head, that I'm the one with the problem

 

Thank you for your advice.....but I truly want this to work out. I truly do love her, and I believe she loves me. When we're home together we're inseparable, and she's never not where I would expect her to be.

 

....

 

:bunny:WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!:bunny:

 

good grief, you sound like a woman!! so, this chick has your balls in her back pocket- WOW! she must be hotter than angelina jolie with a gold plated p****!!!

 

this is just flat out bat **** ridiculous....

 

read this website until your eyes dry out and if one modicum of the information sticks in your brain, you will be slightly better off. ....maybe.

 

Baggage Reclaim - The Dating & Relationship blog | relationship advice | emotional unavailability | commitment | self-esteem | dating advice | communication in relationships | being the other woman

[veggirl]

Why don't you just be honest with her? You are going to MARRY her, you should be able to talk about ANYTHING. Ask her to see her phone bills, so you can see if he has been in contact with her. Tell her "I'm sorry I'm being so insecure, I know I might sound crazy but I keep having this feeling that...blah blah blah..."

[Untouchable_Fire]

Thank you OG....I'd hug you if I could LOL

I'm early on in the process with my counselor but even she has said that it would be good to have my fiancee join for at least one session so that the counselor can get opinions from both sides to see what's going on. Ive told my finance about it and we briefly talked about it, nothing set in stone, but I do think she would come to at least one.

Thank you again.

I don't know if I ever wrote about her schedules, but they're hectic...

Mondays she's gone 13 hours a day

Tuesday she's gone 9 hours

Wednesday gone 13 hours

Thursday she's gone 12 hours

Friday she's gone 8

It's a lot of time and maybe it itself shows why I miss her as much as I do.

 

Why is her schedule so hectic? Plenty of time for cheating in a 13 hour day.

 

If you don't do a paternity test on this child before signing paperwork then you are a complete MORON. You would liable for child support for the next 18 years... 18 YEARS... and if the baby isn't yours you won't even get visitation rights... you just PAY EVERY MONTH. If you don't pay... You go to JAIL. All because your too much of a puss to call her out on this bull****.

 

Look, this guy isn't a "friend" he is an EX. She is calling you controlling because she knows how to push you around and manipulate you.

 

I can't say for sure whether she is cheating or not... but for sure I would never put up with this crap! Never!

[Bryanp]

It is obvious by her actions that she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? I feel very very sorry for you.