Am I right or wrong? You tell me...

[Baby K!!]

My bf and I have known each other for over a year, dating for the past six months. We've done everything sexual except the sex part, which I am really looking foward to. He wants it to be special, so do I, but I really want to do this, but of course I'll wait. In the meanwhile, he's getting off to porn a lot and its starting to really piss me off. I want him to get off with me! What scares me is, now we won't pleasure each other they way we used to. He doesn't do all those naughty things he used to, so I stopped trying to tease him or even try to pleasure him as well. I'm afraid those movies are screwing him up. I had a talk with him about it and he promised to get rid of those movies. I told him to keep it but he won't. I feel bad about taking them away, then again I feel bad that he'll get too focused on those movies again.

 

Tell me, Was I wrong to tell him about getting rid

 

of the movies?

 

Or should I just get over it, and wait for that spark to

 

come back????

 

Either way, I'm feeling really bad, really pissed, or really sad....Please Help!

[Tony T]

I think when somebody prefers to get off on movies rather than his girl, it is quite abnormal. It doesn't sound like you told him what to do, you just suggested what he could do to make the relationship better and you did the right thing.

 

Men who become obsessed with trashy porn, websites, magazines, etc. to the detriment of their personal sex lives and those of their partners do have a serious problem. If this starts happening again, suggest he receive psychological counselling. To prefer these outlets over the one preferred by nature is abnormal.

 

You might suggest from time to time that he rent a really great porn flick that the two of you can watch together to get in the mood for some interesting lovemaking. Otherwise, it sounds like it's best for this particular dude to stay away from the stuff.

 

Try not to feel too pissed or sad. While it was abnormal, many millions of people spend billions of dollars a year for this stuff and seem to enjoy it for whatever reason. If I were you, however, I would try to communicate with your boyfriend a get to the bottom of why he was paying more attention to these flicks than to you. Getting to the core reason and addressing it is something you need to do.

[Deejette]

You are not wrong for feeling bad that he prefers the fake to the real. I would not be happy with that behavior either. But I would not tolerate it in my life. If I saw that a guy had to be stimulated by sleaze and porn and was not focused on me, it would be "Hit the road, Jack." I am interested in a man who wants to please a real, flesh and blood woman, not be so into himself and his plastic masturbatory fantasies.

I think when somebody prefers to get off on movies rather than his girl, it is quite abnormal. It doesn't sound like you told him what to do, you just suggested what he could do to make the relationship better and you did the right thing.

 

Men who become obsessed with trashy porn, websites, magazines, etc. to the detriment of their personal sex lives and those of their partners do have a serious problem. If this starts happening again, suggest he receive psychological counselling. To prefer these outlets over the one preferred by nature is abnormal. You might suggest from time to time that he rent a really great porn flick that the two of you can watch together to get in the mood for some interesting lovemaking. Otherwise, it sounds like it's best for this particular dude to stay away from the stuff. Try not to feel too pissed or sad. While it was abnormal, many millions of people spend billions of dollars a year for this stuff and seem to enjoy it for whatever reason. If I were you, however, I would try to communicate with your boyfriend a get to the bottom of why he was paying more attention to these flicks than to you. Getting to the core reason and addressing it is something you need to do.