Black Jack Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 If she considers her ex her "best friend" then you should consider her an EX-girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jtcjulia Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I was once the girl who kept her ex's as friends and i justified it the same way - we were better friends then lovers. i would be with them if i was meant to be. I was really just immature and not ready to settle down, i didn't want to give a guy complete control over my life so i rebelled. then one day i realized his feelings and how it is respect he was looking for not control. i ended up realizing that though leaving those people behind is hard it would have been harder to lose the love of my life, i moved on, i still have other friends, i still have memories, but i have been a million times happier with the person i'm with compared to the ex's i kept around, i have no regrets for choosing him if she won't choose you, as hard as it may be to accept, she probably isn't ready for as serious a relationship as you are 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeyondtheClouds Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Thanks for confirming what I've always believed to be true. However, there is one detail that I didn't mention and am wondering if it changes anything. My gf's mom passed away before I knew her and she claims the ex in question was one of the only people to help her through it. That is a big reason why she considers him a best friend, because he was there for her when her mom passed. Does this fact change anything? How do I confront her about this? IM sure she'll see it as me asking her to stop talking to a person who helped her cope with the most painful thing she has ever gone through. I'm beginning to think that her and this guy are forever linked by the death and no matter how many times she says she doesn't want to be with him, she'll always end up going back to him.... Ive somewhat brought the idea of her still wanting him and every time she pretty convincingly states that she never wants to be with him despite wanting to remain friends. Apparently they fought pretty bad when they were together, but get along fine as friends... I don't want to just dump her without talking about it. What's the best way to go about doing that? Thanks again. does she say how many people in total helped her? And is she best friends with them as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I think this is a dead thread...dude ain't coming back. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Hey sabian---let me ask you something---lets take you and your best/very good friends------how many times a week do you talk to them, a couple of times probably, what do you talk about ---relevant things, what is happening in the world, people you both know---conversation at most probably 5 to 8 minutes maybe 3 to 4 times a week, if that----THAT IS WHAT CONVERSATION WITH FRIENDS ARE/IS If your GF, is talking more than that she is out of line----I imagine whether she keeps this BF is up to you, as far as your relationship goes---if you don't fight with her about the contact, at least settle with her on what is apropos in the amount of/time of conversations Link to post Share on other sites
minnie2 Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Well, tough situation... I think it's good when a person doesn't become enemies with an ex, but being too close sounds suspicious. Generally, I'm a bit suspicious about boy-girl relationships, except in cases where there is/was no sexual attraction. However, she did have a serious relationship with him. She (probably) did sleep with him, and she did find him attractive. I don't think that can be buried forever, especially since their reason for breaking up is not some huge disappointment by her. Link to post Share on other sites
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